Stitchy McYarnpants

Confessions of a husband-neglecting, cat-shooing, yarn-hoarding knitaholic. But in a good way.

Monday, December 20, 2004

The Museum of Kitschy Stitches, Vol. IV - A Very Special MOKS: The Christmas Craptacular!

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Blogger Jane said...

OMG!! The very worst is that horrible fake plant, although the clowns are a very, very close second. Thanks for sharing. Merry Christmas.

12/20/2004 07:10:00 PM  
Blogger Rish Outfield said...

Hilarious. Insane asylums must have mandatory knitting sessions every other day.

12/20/2004 07:19:00 PM  
Blogger Dani said...

Holy Crap I am laughing so hard there are tears rolling down my face. Even my fiance is laughing (which is pretty amazing - he is not exactly what you would call a blog lover). That is the funniest thing I have ever read. Merry Christmas!

12/20/2004 08:14:00 PM  
Blogger jenifleur said...

::shudder:: The Nightmare Before Christmas.

12/20/2004 08:23:00 PM  
Blogger Delia said...

Where can I get my very own drunk rabbit in yellow pants? That, and I am fairly confident I am going to have nightmares about clowns tonight.

12/20/2004 10:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The truly frightening thing is that a lot of those look familiar. I think it may be time to weed out the pattern stash. . .
julia fc

12/21/2004 12:02:00 AM  
Blogger kweaver said...

I am not worried about the little boy in the yellow sweater getting beat up.... he has a small wooden spoon to protect himself with.

12/21/2004 12:59:00 AM  
Blogger molly said...

All of that is most definitely craptastic. You never fail to amuse me. Happy Holidays!

12/21/2004 05:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The horror . . . the horror!


12/21/2004 07:29:00 AM  
Blogger Emily said...

Laughing, howling, snorting! Those clowns are too much. I'm afraid I have hazy memories of something pom-pom-creature like in my past, I may need therapy.

12/21/2004 08:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those are some scary ass clowns! I don't know whether to laugh or cry.


12/21/2004 08:49:00 AM  
Blogger Fiber said...

Fantastic. That last clown is really freaking me the hell out.

12/21/2004 09:18:00 AM  
Blogger Elisa said...

Fuckin' A.

12/21/2004 09:49:00 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

holy crapola in a can...that is some hideous sh^t. Wow that last clown looks like Pennywise from Stephen King's IT.

"we all float down here!!"

Oh horrors, I am hiding under my desk.

WTF! A knitted plant (smacks forehead) why have I been knitting hats this year...when I could have been knitting plants!!!

Jebus, that is scary but damn you are funny!

12/21/2004 10:06:00 AM  
Blogger Maeve said...

fabulous as always - but just wait - someone will actually think one of these is a good idea! personally, i'm a big fan of the wedgie sweater. i think we all know that one extra obnoxious kid who would really benefit from a good wedgie experience... ;)

12/21/2004 10:08:00 AM  
Blogger unravelme said...

I am now afraid of clowns. Very afraid!

12/21/2004 10:27:00 AM  
Blogger Bookish Wendy said...

You should post a clown warning on this post! I am seriously afraid of clowns and those scary yarn things really did nothing to subdue my fears. Scary, scary clowns. The plant - now that plant is funny!

12/21/2004 10:31:00 AM  
Blogger Miriam said...

*laugh*... *gasp*... *tries to say something*... *can't*... *laughs*


12/21/2004 10:44:00 AM  
Blogger La said...

Ok, how bad is it that I rather like the drunken bunny? But those clowns? I've had nightmares with those clowns in them as a child. *shudder*

12/21/2004 11:56:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok i actually like the snakes. but i promise never to make one for anyone ... ever. and i wasn't afraid of clowns before but now i am. *shudder*

maryse at

12/21/2004 01:39:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Oh God, the church bazaar flashbacks! Make them stop! LMAO

12/21/2004 01:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beth at Big Geek
I think that is Brooke Shields in the duck sweater. I could be mistaken. Lot's of models got their start with bad knitting patterns.

12/21/2004 03:00:00 PM  
Blogger Agnes said...

Almost laughed my a** off reading your post!!!!
Have to agree with you on the wreath and bear-diaper sweater! Poor kid!

12/21/2004 03:11:00 PM  
Blogger Anne-Caroline said...

OMG - I kept scrolling wondering when the madness was going to end! Are you serious?!?! Wow. That is all I have to say.

12/21/2004 04:10:00 PM  
Blogger melanie said...

Um, I also like the drunken bunny with his yellow shorts. Save that pattern for me, would ya?

...But burn the one for the plant. Dear God.

12/21/2004 06:56:00 PM  
Blogger crystal said...

Is it just me, or is that kid in the baby bear diaper sweater totally giving the international signal that he has to go pee-pee? Either that or he's matured fast for his age, the little whipper-snapper. There are only three words to describe these atrocities: Stink, Stank, Stunk.

12/21/2004 10:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy mackanoli! what utter crap!

on a side note - to enlarge ANY web page so you can read small type - hold the control button with your left pinkie and use the wheel thingie in the middle of the buttons on the mouse ( if you have a wheel thingie) and zoom Zoom ZOOM. And they said I needed reading glasses. pishaw!

12/22/2004 08:13:00 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

Too funny! And what about the knit/crocheted toilet tissue roll cover, made to look like a Barbie doll dress? Yikes!

12/23/2004 09:19:00 AM  
Blogger Kathen said...

HA HA HA! Those clowns are so disturbing! Thank you for another great episode.

12/23/2004 11:36:00 PM  
Blogger mayflwr said...

heheh funny!


12/25/2004 04:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, have I got an addition for your Museum of Kitschy Stitches!! I was reading another blog (swapatorium) and lo - ski masks! But not just any ordinary ski mask, but... well, you go take a look!



12/25/2004 09:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

forgive me. i kinda liked the plant, and the snake. however, some of those clowns look chucky-inspired. i do like the afghan that was with the red-headed clown, though. they did have some bizarre stuff, didn't they?
Minnie aka dragonmom on KR

12/29/2004 10:21:00 AM  
Blogger Katy said...

I have a little addition to your MOKS collection. I'll be happy to send you a pdf file if you send me an email. It is from an old Lion Brand yarn ball wrapper. Lovely little crocheted cardi.

12/29/2004 01:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh - I can't stand it! I'm laughing too, too hard to finish my clown cozy!

12/31/2004 02:50:00 AM  
Blogger Mac said...

I have a cousin who is deathly afraid of clowns [she's 22]. I have this evil and compelling urge to knit one of those evil, evil clowns. *grin*

1/03/2005 11:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love your MOKS, I can't wait to read what you come up with next! Really great and Funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Thanks Tink

1/30/2005 05:02:00 AM  
Blogger justcinful said...

You had me laughing so hard I was crying. Thank goodness I didn't spit my soda at the computer when I read about the clown that was going to put the kid inside him!

2/01/2005 04:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does that basket of knitted plants have a MOUTH? Look, there's the teeth, and the tongue cleverly disguised as a bow....

feeed me!

3/01/2005 12:40:00 AM  
Blogger Naomi said...

You know, the psnakes might make decent cat toys if stuffed with catnip...

3/05/2005 01:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stitchy McYarnpants, you are my hero!


4/30/2005 07:27:00 PM  
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10/01/2005 06:16:00 PM  
Blogger kalisekj said...

Hey, I have enjoyed...your blog is informative - even entertaining.

I have a halloween sites. They pretty much covers costumes and masks related stuff.

Thanks again and I'll be sure to bookmark you.

10/04/2005 07:00:00 PM  
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