Stitchy McYarnpants

Confessions of a husband-neglecting, cat-shooing, yarn-hoarding knitaholic. But in a good way.

Friday, August 26, 2005

A recent recording from 911 dispatch . . .

Hello, Police?

Yes, I’d like to report an assault.

Yes, that’s right. On my senses! We aren't even safe in our own Inboxes anymore!! Send the fashion squad immediately. Bring a tranquilizer gun and some matches!

36 Comments:

Blogger maryse said...

oh man...thanks for the heads-up -- that little missive is sitting in my inbox still unread -- directly to the trash it goes.


by the way -- thanks for the picture of the pennywise clown doll. i'm not going to be able to sleep tonight.

8/26/2005 12:13:00 PM  
Blogger SCarrGo said...

I like the very hopeful "Click for instructions" button!

8/26/2005 12:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Ashley said...

OH My - I thought the same thing when I opened it. EEK!

8/26/2005 01:06:00 PM  
Anonymous jamie said...

Oh my. I mean really, Oh MY. I am rendered speechless.

8/26/2005 01:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Colleen said...

No shit! I took one look at that and thought "WTF?"

8/26/2005 01:11:00 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I just posted the exact same thing. Where do they come up with this garbage?

8/26/2005 01:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My eyes, my eyes.

Tammy

8/26/2005 01:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Skylar said...

I think i just threw up a little. In my mouth.

8/26/2005 01:14:00 PM  
Blogger Marlena said...

Oh my lord! You should a more serious warning on that link! My eyes almost popped right out of my head.

8/26/2005 01:25:00 PM  
Blogger Bookish Wendy said...

Between this and the clown I'm not sure I can come over here anymore!

;)

8/26/2005 01:25:00 PM  
Blogger Dani said...

This is the kind of pattern that sends me into rant mode. Some knitters and crocheters fall in love with technique so much that they forget that someone should be able to use the finished object. Then they get offended when the recipient stuffs the thing into the back of her closet.

The funniest thing to me is where they say "liven up your back-to-school wardrobe". Huh? With that jewelry, that ensemble looks like something that someone's great-grandma would wear.

8/26/2005 01:28:00 PM  
Blogger TheBunny said...

I can't even tell you what the sweater looked like. Was it cute? I was confused by all the jewelry and the plaid skirt.

It looks like a Mad Libs outfit. People give you random pieces of clothing and you have to put them together.

Problem is, I'm not giggling. I'm just kind of stunned.

8/26/2005 01:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Daphne said...

Ad libs knitting! I love it. It is very much so. Your commenters are so wonderful.

My feeling is at least they didn't force an actual model to wear this one. Love the blouse under it, too.

8/26/2005 02:10:00 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

That is so bad. In fact, it makes me want to barf. Wait, no, it looks like someone's dog ate a bunch of yarn and barfed!

8/26/2005 02:23:00 PM  
Anonymous ellen said...

eeeeewwwwwww.

8/26/2005 02:26:00 PM  
Blogger --Deb said...

Oh good heaven. Don't they know that some people have to LOOK at the things they make? Ugh!

8/26/2005 02:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Betsy said...

The Gypsy has rendered me speechless. Mere words cannot describe the horror...

Stitchy, don't take this the wrong way, but I thought of you when I saw this. ;) Enjoy!

http://www.cult45.fsbusiness.co.uk/featuresjackie.html

8/26/2005 02:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Donna said...

Ah, the one thing I can say about Berrroco patterns -- they are consistently bad.

8/26/2005 03:35:00 PM  
Blogger Kim in Oregon said...

One ugly element...I can overlook. Two ugly elements...my head hurts. A pattern made up of at least half a dozen ugly elements: either someone at Berrocco is laughing his/her a_s off or there's a designer on crack out there.

8/26/2005 04:39:00 PM  
Blogger Diane said...

Liven up your back to school wardrobe???what school do they attend TeHe......i know....The Academy of Comedy!

8/26/2005 05:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Robby said...

This is why I had shied away from "free" patterns. They usually looked like they were made with yarn that no one would normally buy and in patterns that were best left in the back of the closet. Would embarrass they daylights out of the blind. To each, his own I guess.

8/26/2005 08:05:00 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

I kind of liked one of the necklaces...but the rest is...GAG!

8/26/2005 09:00:00 PM  
Blogger Sneaksleep said...

Omig, this one was so bad that when I got the e-mail, I immediately sent a pic of it to my brother (who doesn't knit or anything). I think he wet his pants when he saw it. I mean, the sweater (if you can even call it that) is bad enough, and then they have to go and pair it with all that other crap to make it look even worse!

8/27/2005 10:53:00 AM  
Blogger sandia said...

Is it wrong that I think it could be cute... in a single-colored yarn, without the sheer blouse or plaid skirt or crochet trim or multiple necklaces? Hmmm...

8/27/2005 01:31:00 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

If that is someone's back to school wardrobe, then someone is getting beaten up on the first day! I guess that really will liven up your back to school wardrobe!

8/27/2005 08:46:00 PM  
Blogger dragon knitter said...

i'm actually with sandia. the technique is fascinating, as long as you look past the color way, the ickcessories, and that crappy oversized crochet trim. i said holy (^%*&$)%$#%&) and my boys opened their door and asked what was wrong, lol.

8/27/2005 09:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Miss Maia said...

That is hilarious! But, really, what were they thinking?

8/28/2005 02:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Dharma said...

And it's a FREE pattern. Go figure.

8/28/2005 09:03:00 AM  
Blogger Ranger Susie said...

Oh my God! Are they kidding?!

8/28/2005 09:45:00 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

In looking at the shade card, there ARE a few colorways that are pretty decent. This one, however, is one of the worst I've ever seen.

If the LYS has this, it'll be a good candidate for the clearance bin.

8/28/2005 10:27:00 AM  
Blogger KathyMarie said...

It burns us! Take it away!

8/29/2005 10:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In the imortal words of Strongbad, "Holy craaap."

Caryn
www.fuzzynoodleknits.com

8/29/2005 12:11:00 PM  
Anonymous B. said...

So I guess you're not joining the Gypsy knit-along?

8/29/2005 05:23:00 PM  
Blogger Stacy said...

You guys need to check out the site: http://youknitwhat.blogspot.com/

Everyone over there has been ranting about this pattern for a couple of weeks now. Of course, the ladies over there aren't nearly as funny as Stitchy...

8/31/2005 11:52:00 AM  
Blogger Carrie said...

Why do the words "And then there's Maude" come to mind immediately after viewing?

9/08/2005 03:58:00 AM  
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