Stitchy McYarnpants

Confessions of a husband-neglecting, cat-shooing, yarn-hoarding knitaholic. But in a good way.

Monday, September 19, 2005

New and Improved Post: Now With Actual Knitting Content!

First, I have to tell you that the cat in the last MOKS, the one swaddled in baby bunting, the one who is planning a most gruesome end for his shoulder-padded mistress – he’s not photo-shopped. A few commenters wondered if he was, and I’m here to tell you that the poor lil’ pussycat is stuffed into that baby bunting for real. Sad. Inexplicable. Deliciously awful.

Second, thanks to Jessica who left this link in the comments . I’m delighted but mostly embarrassed to tell you that I am working on a guinea pig outfit for my friend Peter’s g-pig, Eve. I knitted up a lacy swatch using light blue Geisha from the nether regions of my stash. I also did a non-lacy one in Berroco Suede. He decided that Eve was more of a tomboy . . . er . . . tompig? . . . so he felt she’d be less self-conscious in the suede. So I’m designing a little western vest for dear, sweet little Eve. She has black fur and will look very comely in her new outfit. It’s going to be fairly simple at the top, done in tan with some YO “cutouts” near the bottom. There will be a small, hot pink border and some pink fringe. Franklin, Peter’s other g-pig will be very jealous and I’m sure we’ll have to accommodate him somehow.

Third – lookie what I made over the weekend!

It’s a dog sweater for my friend Ronnie’s rat terrier, Max. It even has a pocket so he can carry his stuff around. Currently, his favorite toy is Zero from The Nightmare Before Christmas. Zero fits into the pocket perfectly. We had a fitting and it worked out really well. The pattern is from Patons “Another Dog’s Life” (and yes, I do intend to make the Dogasaurus Rex on the cover. Oh yes.) The instructions originally didn’t have me add the green button band between the leg holes. Now, I don’t know what the hell kind of dogs they’ve got up in Paton’s country, but Max isn’t some circus sideshow freak with his front legs two inches apart. Sheesh! So I added the button band to get a perfect fit. I’ll just weave front shut and I’m going to add some old-fashioned wooden barrel buttons to give it a rustic look. I used maybe a little more than one skein of blue Wool Ease for the body and half a skein of the green for the edging and pocket. Surprisingly, Max took a size Medium. I’ll get photos of him in it as soon as possible!

Dot remains unimpressed. (I wish I could spend my day taking tongue baths in the laundry basket, but the NutroMax doesn't pay for itself, now does it?) Apparently her toes are far more interesting than my sudden need to rid the world of animal nudity.

Well, we’ve seen just about enough of all eight of her nipples around our house. She and Chloe are getting Koigu tubes top, whether they like it or not. And although they’ve both been neutered, Chi-Chi and Mike could each do with a pair of cashmerino underwear.

*Darn! The Guinea Pig dress link doesn't seem to be working right now. Maybe it will come back. Just know that if you Google "Guinea Pig Dress", oh my lord in heaven, you will get the most fantastic "accidental" link I've ever seen. It's to a site called (no, it's not all recipes for roadkill as I was hoping), and the preview of the match goes like this:

"My grandmother could take a guinea pig, dress it, rub it with spice and oil, and bake it in a slow oven until it tasted just as good as the finest muskrat".

Fan-friggin-tastic. Is Google not the coolest thing ever? How did we ever live without it?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gawd, I've missed you! 20 days is far to long a time between entries. Dot looks absolutely regal.


9/19/2005 07:19:00 PM  
Blogger k said...

The guinea pig dress link above, worked for me. I am really glad I didn't have to Google it.

9/19/2005 10:55:00 PM  
Blogger dragon knitter said...

right up there with squirrel porcupine balls (and it's not rice that's sticking out!) and possum stew!

9/19/2005 11:02:00 PM  
Blogger JustApril said...

WHOA! Dang baby - that's
NAY-U-STAY. I thought I'd heard all the scary "Beverly Hillbillies" menu items. Guinea pigs? whyaaah

I must also agree with your friend, Anonymous, I missed you, man!

And I'm really bummed that I didn't know it was "International Talk Like a Pirate" day - rats

9/20/2005 12:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

too frickin' funny.

glad you're alive, baby.

julia fc

9/20/2005 04:15:00 AM  
Anonymous melanie said...

Cute cute!! love the doggie outfit!

9/20/2005 07:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

Hey sweetpea? I've seen just about enough of my cat's nipples too, and I'd knit something to cover them except I'm being held back by my pesky SANITY. Would you send over one of those Koigu Chemises?

9/20/2005 08:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Lee Ann said...

Speaking as someone who's knit a llama thong for a bunny, it's the cashmerino undies for the boys that gets me...just don't forget the hole for the tail and the...

Wait. I think I just had a fit of sanity. Forget the underwear, really. If only for the laundry factor. Boys of any species make a big effing mess.

9/20/2005 08:25:00 AM  
Blogger maryse said...

you are a sick woman. i love you.

if you get a pattern for kitty underpants can you share it? i'm sick of watching my cat lick his privates on my desk right in front of me.

it's really too much information.

roasted guinea pig is good, but it's a little gamey. but lovely with chanterelle mushrooms

9/20/2005 11:52:00 AM  
Anonymous mtb said...

re the pig dress-i came across this where i work (i work with Very Smart People) and as i was laughing M A O, a VSP came in and said "Were you aware that the guinee pig is from South America?" Uh...nope. Day Two, i was looking at the quick time file someone sent me with the amazing talking parrot (Einstein, i think). Again, i am LMAO and a VSP came in and said "Ah. It IS as I surmised, an Amazon Grey" Day Three, a VMP came in and made some comment to which i replied oooh you are s m r t...and she said (I swear) "Don't you mean s m A r t?

Ah the fond memories. Thanks!

9/20/2005 03:17:00 PM  
Blogger IndigoMuse said...

My youngest son saw that pattern a few months ago and wants me to make that little dress for his piggie. I've been able to avoid it for now but know that I'll be on the hook again for it soon. The things we do for our kids.


9/21/2005 08:38:00 AM  
Blogger Diane said...

i've also escaped the GP dress(so far),my sons gf saw it ages ago and begged me to knit one for her GP Elmo....i said i didn't think it wise to give a male GP a gender crisis...i mean whoever heard of a cross dressing guinea pig????

9/21/2005 04:20:00 PM  
Anonymous CatBookMom said...

A friend loaned me an old Elle pattern book, and I copied some of the items which belong in the MOKS. How can I send the photos to you? My PC was on the fritz so I couldn't just scan them. I have the Uber-Linebacker Zip Cardi, the Channeling the 1940s Total Frizz-out Boatneck, the wholly embarrassed kid in the Cherry Bobble Cardi, etc.

If you'd like these, email me at
grdncats AT pacbell dot net.

9/21/2005 06:42:00 PM  
Anonymous KnitsNGiggles said...

Max is one lucky dog. I'm two spikes away from being done my very own "Dogosaurus Rex" for my terrier-collie-beagle mix, Rosie. It is a super-fun knit. Enjoy!

9/22/2005 05:50:00 AM  
Blogger mayflwr said...

I LOVE G-Ps!!!! what a great idea! Growing up, over a course of 5 years, I probably had a total of 20 of the cuties. One day when I'm a rich and famous artist (hah!) and can afford 175deposit plus $10/month pet rent (pet rent?!) I'll get a couple! I can't wait to see it!

glad to see you're using that geisha....mine is all still hanging out someone in the black hole of my closet

9/22/2005 11:20:00 AM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

I cannot wait to see the guinea pig in it's vest!! If you like the pigs check out
cute as can be

9/22/2005 11:22:00 AM  
Anonymous sarra said...

Just a quick warning-guinea pigs, in my experience, will eat anything you put near them unless they are supervised. The vest may become a snack if left on too long. But it'll be cute while it lasts!

9/22/2005 04:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

FYI i think it is pretty cool you have TWO TANYA'S on your comments. What are the odds! TANYA (mtb)

9/23/2005 08:26:00 AM  
Blogger Reetay Arvaysay said...

Love your blog, Stitchy.

I made a Dogosaurus Rex two years ago for CJ, my sister's shepherd mix (in Karabella Aurora 8 or the equivalent Zara merino; it's been a while... um, neither of us have kids so it seemed like a reasonable expense at the time). Anyway, when we put it on the dog on Xmas morn, she got strangely submissive. She'd never worn a sweater, and the cat came over and sniffed her suspiciously, backed off, and hid on top of the entertainment center. CJ sloooowly slid down to a crouch and wouldn't move until we removed the sweater. It was hilarious and a little cringe-making.

I found the spikes a bit tricky and so decided to pick them up in pairs on the sweater and then stitch them together around the outside edges. I'm not sure if the result was an improvement. I like picking up stitches, though, so it was a pleasant divertissement.

9/25/2005 01:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The GP dress slays me primarily because it's no simple St st pattern with a little 1x1 rib trim. Noooo, this has ... Bells at the hem? Check. Quatrefoil eyelet stitch throughout the body of the dress? Indeed! Somewhere, there is a Breton 12 cable version of this pattern, along with one done in four color mosaic and another in entrelac. Mark my words.

9/25/2005 01:36:00 PM  
Blogger honeybee33 said...

OMG, Carrie, I have never left a comment for a comment until now!!! you have me in stitches!!! Are you sure your last name isn't McYarnpants???

~ honeybee33 ~

9/27/2005 03:47:00 PM  
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