Stitchy McYarnpants

Confessions of a husband-neglecting, cat-shooing, yarn-hoarding knitaholic. But in a good way.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

And the Winner is . . .

Wow. Did I totally miss yesterday? Huh. I promised you a winner and a winner you shall have.

But first, let me tell you about this funny thing my cat did . . .

Alright, alright! I’ll tell you. The randomly selected and ever adorable winner of the grant from the Museum of Kitschy Stitches is . . . .

Marnie MacLean from MarnieTalks! YAY! If you don’t know Marnie, please make her a regular stop on your Blogtown trolley. She’s got some amazing designs, an interesting blog, and also possesses what could be the cutest dog in the world, Panda.

And what does Marnie’s grant consist of? Well, it ain’t a scholarship, sister. It’s actually a few things, but we’re having technical difficulties with the camera, and I’d rather photograph everything rather than just say what it is. It’s more fun that, way, doncha think? By the way, Marnie, does your apartment allow large reptiles? Just askin’. We should have the camera issues resolved soon, like tonight soon (our memory card got corrupted. Aren’t you dying to know what kind of pictures we took to corrupt it? rrrowr Mom, I’m just kidding.)

There will also be knitting pictures, because I still knit, you know. Just not as much as I’d like.

Thanks to everyone who played, it was really fun to see what you all came up with. You gals crack me up.

Monday, April 25, 2005

The Museum of Kitschy Stitches, Vol. VI - Special Guest Exhibit

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Saturday, April 16, 2005

I'm busy. YOU do it!

So here's the deal. I'm busy. Really busy. So busy I can hardly stand it. This means that the Museum of Kitschy Stitches is temporarily on hold until I can reign in my ever-crapulating life. It will probably be back in full force next month, but I just can't do it this month.

All together now: "Awwwwwww. But Stiiiitchyyyy . . . ."

Well, I must say that I'm more than flattered at the great feedback the MOKS has gotten. I love that you love it. And now it's time for you all to give a little something back to me. It's all about me, right? So here are four photos of some yarntrocities, without any snarky commentary from yours truly. This is where you come in. I have created a special email account where you will be sending me your very own commentary about these awful things. It's StitchyIsLazyOopsIMeanBusy at (I replaced the @ with "at" to avoid crawlers, just make the substitution before you send the email). You can do just one, some, or all of them. Make sure you put the numbers by each bit of text so I know what it's for. I will be posting all of the comments for each photo next week, so you have until next Saturday night (the 23rd) to get your comments in. If you want credit, put your name and blog address (if you have one) so everyone will be able to appreciate your brilliance.

There will be some sort of contesty facet to this, but I haven't figured out that part yet. I'm not going to judge the best comments because I just don't have the intestinal fortitude for that sort of thing. Also, I'm very selfish with my stash and can't give something to everyone (but you're all winners in my heart. You know that, don't you?). I will probably do some kind of random drawing, but I'm like the wind. If the wind were a selfish, lazy bee-atch.

OK, people. Hop to it.





Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Why I Love Me Some Charlene

I just had to share this email exchange Charlene and I have been having over the last hour or so. She is house-sitting for a girl she works with and I’m going to hang out with her tonight.

And now, the McYarnpants Email Theater is proud to present:

“Dinner at Andrea’s”

Charlene: So, should we get some food to take with us to Andrea’s tonight? I have until Friday when Weight Watchers starts to eat recklessly. Anything you’re in the mood for? I can meet you at home and we can drive over together.

Me: Well, I was going to make a salad with a leftover pork chop from last night for lunch, but we ended up getting Quiznos subs. It was a disappointment and I really was looking forward to pork chop salad. I could bring that and we can share it. Then it’ll counteract the effects of the giant hot fudge sundaes I think we should have. With maraschino cherries, even. Whole handfuls of them.

Charlene: Handfuls of cherries or handfuls of sundaes? Handfuls of everything I say! I have a couple of leftover sausages we could toss on the salad too. We’ll have to stop for sundae ingredients. There is mudslide mix at the house, Andrea insisted I have some before I go.

Me: Ooh! I forgot about the lovely, lovely sausages . . . Can we have caramel on our sundaes? I have some nuts at my house, too.

Charlene: Of course caramel! I mean, as long as there is whipped cream to balance the whole thing out.

Me: Obviously. The whipped cream is what makes it all work. That and the expensive premium iced cream we’re going to use.

Charlene: Nancy suggested perhaps we might also want some delicious shaved coconut as well. I must say I’ve never thought about that option, but I do believe coconut has fiber doesn’t it?

Me: Hmmmm. That might be interesting. I think I have some of that, as well. But it has sugar on it. Is that a problem? HA HA HA HA HA HA

Charlene: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: So coconut then?

Charlene: I can’t think of any reason why not.

It's nice to have a friend who so truly and deeply understands me.

Monday, April 04, 2005

We Stitched, We Bitched, We Swapped!

Looking for a good time? Call a bunch of knitters! Seriously. I had the pleasure of hosting a small get-together on Saturday and it was such a blast! Know how I know it was good? Everyone’s husbands and/or boyfriends kept calling them and asking when they were coming home. Each devoted little knitter would say “Soon, honey! I’m leaving in a few minutes.” After about an hour, the men were calling again. “Put a sock in it, Mister. And I want the dishes done by the time I get home!” soon became the new battle cry.

And with each lovely knitter came delicious treats! I do love tasty treats. Melanie made strawberry-cinnamon muffins, Elisa brought a delightful selection of Japanese candies, including gummy “Fry Eggs” and some chocolate Melty Kisses. Wendy brought some brownies with Jr. Mints melted atop (great idea – I’m stealing it) and a fan-friggin-tastic Red Velvet cake with cream cheese frosting.

Ben brought a beautiful salad with almonds and currants and a bag of hazelnut chocolates and some soda to balance out the healthy effects of the salad. Maryse stopped at Trader Joes and got some sparkly Pear Apple and Raspberry juices and some fiber to help move all the other snacks along. She also gave me some cute sweater-shaped point protectors for circular needles! I probably forgot a bunch of things because there ended being a metric ton of food. It was perfect!

After noshing for a bit (noshing is when you cram as many handfuls of shrimp cocktail into your gullet as you can, right?), we got to knitting and chatting and laughing and general merry-making. Everyone got along great and time flew by. I even learned how to say everyone’s name properly!

Here’s Melanie knitting in front of the dollhouse Charlene’s grandfather made for her mother. Whenever one of the cats runs into the basement, they head right into this house. It’s cute until you try to pry them out.

And here are Ben, Elisa, and Wendy.

We were also joined by my friend, Charlene. She doesn’t knit, but she was working with needles and fiber, so we let her join our club. Here she is practicing embroidering a mascara wand. I’m going to knit and felt some cosmetic bags, she’s going to embroider them, and we’re going to sell them for our community group’s charity thingy this summer. My project on Saturday was to knit a panel that I later felted so she could practice on the real thing. I’m also happy to report that despite a raging tooth-ache, my sister-in-law, Shannon, was also able to enjoy the festivities. I think she’s ready to try cables after chatting with the ladies about it for a bit. Yay! (I didn't get a picture of her alone, but you can see her behind the various Vanna's below.) I tried to get Dot and Chi-Chi to join us, but they got freaked out and ran back upstairs. Pussies.

One of the highlights of the evening was the yarn swap. Everyone (well, almost everyone. I’m looking at you, Bags ‘n’ Trash) had packaged their yarn in pretty gift bags. I’m glad the party was at my place because I was able to run upstairs to get a pretty bag for mine. We did it Yankee Swap style, so everyone picked a number and we took turns selecting a bag of yarn. Each person was able to steal the previously selected yarn if she liked it better than the yarn she had selected herself. But who would ever do such a thing? Who would go to someone’s house and STEAL their YARN? What sort of pers . . .

Oh. I see.

Here is Elisa making off with my alpaca. You can’t see it in this picture, but my heart was broken. Smashed to bits. I did get three skeins of fluffy Jaeger Aero in return, so I will have mercy upon her soul. It’ll make a pair of great fuzzy mittens. That way, I won’t leave any fingerprints behind when I - oh, never you mind, dearies.

As each person selected their bag, I made them Vanna it for the pleasure if the entire internet. These girls can really work it! I’m going to try to post these in order of the picking. I’m probably wrong.

Everyone brought great stuff to swap, not a bad egg in the batch! I didn’t get pictures of everyone’s prize, but I did manage to capture Maryse doing a great Princess Leia impression with her newly-gotten wool booty. May the force be with you, mon cher.

The evening came to the perfect end when we all followed Rule #3 about meeting bloggers. The Sharpies came out, as did Wendy’s torso (one can only assume that her chest was full of other people signatures), and, well, I don’t have pictures, but she does (run, don’t walk, over there!) I think she should make this memory permanent. If only we knew someone who was married to a tattoo artist . . .

In summation, I’d like to say that you’ll never find a finer buncha knitters in the land, but I do recommend trying, because these get-togethers are loads of fun! I can’t wait for the next one! My rumpus room is ready for more rumping! Uhhh. I’m not really sure what that means. But when I find out, I’ll let you know!