Stitchy McYarnpants

Confessions of a husband-neglecting, cat-shooing, yarn-hoarding knitaholic. But in a good way.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

I have been assimilated.

We are sock knitter. Our singular goal is the consumption of sock yarn. We seek to amass all the sock yarn in the universe into our collective for the purpose of sock knitting. Adaptation to various methods of sock knitting is inevitable. We will use our hive mind to knit socks until there are no more socks to knit. Our socks will be of all colors, patterns, and size. We will not be stopped, we will not be swayed, we will not be conquered, we will only knit socks. In this version of sock knitting, we used KnitPicks dye-our-own sock yarn. We dyed it at Julia of Nine's yarn dying party some time ago.

We encountered a small technical glitch with this little side piece which we believe is identified as the gusset, but we’re not entirely affirmative. It’s the sector in which we reunite the heel with the sock. It appears that we need to adapt our skills to avoid future iterations of this irregularity.

We will now focus our laser eyesight on the background of the initial visual representation of the socks. They are cat. More accurately, they are large cat in a small box. They are silly and cute. Soon they, too, will be sock knitter.

Resistance is futile.


Anonymous Imbrium said...

It's nice to see that the assimilatin is going well. And have faith...the gussets improve with practice. (At least, I hope they do...that's what I'm told, anyway.)

2/08/2006 02:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Amy said...

Hmmm. Knitting borg. Knorg?

2/08/2006 02:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Daphne said...

Yep, gussets are tricky. Cat is silly. Post is rad.

2/08/2006 02:56:00 PM  
Blogger katiedid said...

The socks are beautiful. Glad you joined the ranks. *salutes*

2/08/2006 03:00:00 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

Hear hear! The more sock knitters the better ;) They look fantastic, congrats!

2/08/2006 03:20:00 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

All your sock yarn are belong to us.

2/08/2006 03:25:00 PM  
Blogger Ann said...

Knit socks and prosper.

2/08/2006 03:34:00 PM  
Blogger KnittenKnots said...

heh heh...large cat in small box. :-)

2/08/2006 03:42:00 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

This search for gusset improvement can only lead to more socks. And then more. And then more. Bwah-ha-ha!

Small box with large cat. Very nice.

2/08/2006 03:44:00 PM  
Blogger Martita said...

The less you struggle, the less it hurts. Assimilation, that is.

2/08/2006 03:57:00 PM  
Blogger CrazyFiberLady said...

Resistance is futile. Welcome to the sock knitting collective.

What is it with cats and boxes that are too small for them? Except for kittens, they of course prefer HUGE boxes.

2/08/2006 04:02:00 PM  
Blogger claudia said...

Hive mind. YEAH! Bzzzzzzz.

2/08/2006 04:02:00 PM  
Blogger Kellee said...

Please note people that SHE DYED THIS YARN HERSELF. Hive mind, my ass -- do you SEE the non-pooling-ness of this yarn?!?! Do you?

All hail the queen sock-yarn-dyer!

2/08/2006 04:19:00 PM  
Blogger Carole said...

Socks are my most favorite thing to knit. Welcome to the club!

2/08/2006 04:29:00 PM  
Blogger meg said...

You have pleased the collective. More socks are inevitable.

2/08/2006 04:54:00 PM  
Blogger Fiber Fetish said...

You don't need to see her identification....This is not the sock yarn you're looking for....She can go about her business.

2/08/2006 05:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Cookie said...

I've got the sock knitting and the sock yarn hoarding down. The only problem is that I can't. stop knitting. other things. (That's an attempt at William Shattner sputtering, er "dramatic acting".)

2/08/2006 06:00:00 PM  
Blogger julia fc said...

Julia of Nine's? Is that like Anne of Cleaves? Five of Six? Rick O'Shea?
great great socks. You never forget yor first. . .

2/08/2006 06:27:00 PM  
Anonymous PuppyMomma said...

Ah yes, sock knitting. I know well the hoarding of the yarn, the measuring of the feet, the clicking of the needles, the poking of the fingers. And I love it.

Might I recommend Fleece Artist merino sock yarn for your next pair? Its like walking on yummy.

2/08/2006 08:56:00 PM  
Anonymous etherknitter said...

Next come the posts confessing of 300 stash sock potentials. Not skeins. Sock potentials. (Koigu takes 3 to be sure


2/08/2006 11:03:00 PM  
Blogger Laurakeet said...

Oh I did much laughing! Good to know that Trekking sock yarn has a double entendre home in your stash whenever needed (get it? get it? HA!). They've just re-run the Borg episodes of Star Trek on cable. I knit right through them. Sock Trek. I am Lo-knit-us of Borg.

2/09/2006 01:52:00 AM  
Blogger Fwx Sharon said...

Ooooooh dear, I remember when I was assimilated. LOVE those dpns. So welcome, I am a basic sock queen that instant gratification, followed by...must...knit...more...socks. My true instant gratification socks are 2 strands of yarn on size 10 dpns with 9-10 stiches per needle (that's on 4 needles)They aren's the best for long hikes due to the big stiches digging in but they are WARM and I've gotten great reviews from the -40F crowd here in the great north. You SO make me laugh. I am an old Trekkie from BEFORE the movies and next generation, but I love all borg references and there are frighteningly so many good ones...Wall Mart? cell phone ear pieces? my yarn stash? You will be assimilated!

2/09/2006 11:21:00 AM  
Anonymous elisa said...

mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha (in the evil laugh conotation of mwah, not the smoochy conotation - hee).

2/09/2006 11:50:00 AM  
Anonymous may said...

i will not assimilate! i will resist!!

hehe, i still have yet to join the folks are a little crazy, I'll stick to sweaters! ;)

2/09/2006 11:52:00 AM  
Anonymous melanie said...

You learned well, grasshopper. The force is strong with you.

2/09/2006 12:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Cara said...

Whatever you do, don't Jaywalk. It's the equivalent to an anal probe in the middle of the night only it feels good and looks pretty. I keep seeing a white unmarked van circling my house and I'm pretty sure every time it goes by the sock yarn in my living room has doubled and another pair of Jaywlkers ends up on the needles.


2/09/2006 12:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Lee Ann said...

We are the gusset. Lower your tension and surrender your foot. We will add your stitch count and podiatric distinctiveness to our own. Your gauge will adapt to service us.

The sock does not evolve. It conquers.

(Which is why all my fifth DPNs are hidden safely away where I cannot find them. My husband claims I merely lost them. He is not a knitter.)

2/09/2006 04:42:00 PM  
Blogger annie said...

Dear Stitchy - being of zero technical ability this was the only place I could figure to put this request! Please contact me privately with a snailmail address where I can send a thrillingly, wonderfully exquisite Irish patternbook of knits that deserve pride of place in the Museum of Kitschy Stitches. The color! The design sensibility! The Horror! The Horror!

I would scan the photos and send them to you except I don't have a scanner, and wouldn't be able to figure out how to use it even if I did! Besides, there is more than one World Class Garment in this patternbook...


2/09/2006 05:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Leisel said...

I love the yarn you dyed! Did you measure out for the pattern repeats, or did you just wing it?

2/09/2006 05:53:00 PM  
Blogger Lisa P said...

Ah yes. You have fallen into my well placed trap! Muwahahahahaha! you will now knit socks from here to eternity. (Cuz I know I am!) ;)

2/09/2006 08:36:00 PM  
Blogger dragon knitter said...

6 of nine, here. have you reported the socks to 6 0f 2000?(amie of she's counting up the assimilation.

2/09/2006 10:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Dharma said...

I committed to knitting socks for the KO. Should I be scared?

Should I be committed?

2/09/2006 11:07:00 PM  
Blogger Not Jenny said...

I keep coming back to this post to laugh my head off--is that part of the assimilation process?
I will not resist. Be gentle.

2/10/2006 02:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Donna said...

Hah! :) I see you've discovered the secret Vulcan mind-meld of sockknitting - some may not understand why we do it....until they too assimilate.

2/15/2006 04:50:00 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Socks. We will knit socks. Socks. Socks. (pfzzt)(crank)(sproing)


back to my Not Sock Knitting, now; thanks for the laugh!

2/16/2006 04:01:00 PM  
Blogger Tamara said...

I've read this post several times now. It is absolutely hilarious. Before I started knitting I just couldn't understand why someone would knit *socks.* Can't you just buy socks? But now I feel lonely without a pair on the needles.

2/23/2006 12:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Jennifer grobe said...

I have not yet been assimilated into sock knotting, as I am just learning to knit, but I LOVE your star trek reference. Reminded me of the blog, and her sci-fi references.

7/06/2006 02:29:00 PM  
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