Stitchy McYarnpants

Reminder about the new blog

2006-07-16T23:44:00.000-05:00

Hi All!

I just wanted to post a reminder about my new blog. I noticed that there were still quite a few people still subscribed to this blog's feed and I can only assume you think I'm totally lazy. Truth is, I'm just being busy someplace else!

Come on over!

Here's the direct link to the Museum of Kitschy Stitches blog.

And here's the direct link to the knitting blog.

See you there!

It's Moving Day!

2006-04-17T18:43:00.000-05:00

Ok, I’ve dusted, mopped, burned some incense and the fumigators have been over, so most of the bugs should be taken care of.

There are some big changes that I’ll explain when you get there. The most obvious one is that there are now actually two blogs. When you enter main url, you automatically go to the brand new Museum of Kitschy Stitches blog. That’s right, the MOKS has grown up and moved out on its own. There’s a link to the knitting blog from there, or you can just bookmark each blog separately.

And why, you might ask, does the MOKS have its own page? Well, I just thought it might help book sales if I started posting daily exhibits.

!!!

Come on over!

(Here's the direct link to the knitting blog, just in case I ever have time to knit again)

I Feel Like My Towel Fell Off

2006-04-12T10:13:00.000-05:00

As you can see, my blog template went all screwy, including some of the formatting in my posts. I feel kind of weird with it looking so different, like I should cover up or something. What are you staring at?! Don’t look at me, I’m a hideous mess! Seriously, my butt looks huge in this blog now, doesn’t it? You can tell me. I can take it.

And what, you may ask, is the reason for this little episode? Well, my pets, I’m moving my blog to a different pasture. Hopefully it will be greener, but who knows. I’m heading over to WordPress and while all my posts were being transferred over, a lil’ gremlin took over and wonked things up something fierce. Luckily, all the posts seem to have made it to the new place in one piece. I was hoping to make the transition a little smoother, but what can ya’ do? No biggie.

Does anyone know if there’s a way to see all of the images you’ve posted to your blog using Hello? I lost some images that were linked on my sidebar. I knew I should have copied the template into a separate file. (this is the part where you’re supposed to go and copy the text of your template to a separate file)

I don’t think I’ll bother cleaning up the formatting here or trying to replace the original look. The switch should be done in a few days and this version of the blog will just kind of be lingering for a bit. I need to do some light dusting over at the new place before you can come over, but I think you’ll really like it. I’m very excited about the move. Once it’s presentable, I’ll post my new address and invite you all over for an open house.

Wheee!

Beware – This is the End of the Line for Cuteness

2006-04-10T16:29:00.000-05:00

Are you sure you want to look? I mean, emotionally, are you ready to see the cutest thing you will EVER see? You might as well poke your eyes out after this, because there is simply no way for anything to even parallel it in cuteness, never mind surpass it. And yes, I admit it, I am just enamored with the inter-species love-in that seems to be going around the globe lately. (I’m going to regret using those words in that order as soon as Google sees them, I just know it.) This time, it comes to us from Malaysia.

You sure you want to see it? Once you see, you cannot unsee.

Last chance, folks.

Ok, you seem pretty determined. Here is the cutest freaking thing EVER.

Don't blame me if you get despondent because you've been to the top of Cute Mountain and there's nowhere to go but down, smacking your head on every rock that's just not quite as cute.

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Thanks to Cute Overload for the link, and to the original photographer, Kazzie*, for taking them. In her comments about the photos, she says that she spent an hour just hanging out with these two and the kitten was purring like crazy. Seriously, what more is there after this? I'm just an empty shell now that I've attained Cute Nirvana. I have achieved supreme encutenment, I'm ready to move on to the next level of existence. No, wait, Owen and Mzee are still out there! I can't leave yet.

In knitting news, almost done the Clapotis scarf. I would have finished, but I lost the piece of paper that had the pattern on it and I didn’t know how the last 12 or so rows go. Argh! Soon it’ll be off to Iowa. Hopefully it’s still a little chilly there.

In other news, Melanie is still in the hospital but doing ok. They’re still fiddling with her innards, but things aren’t as dire as they were a few days ago. Hopefully they’ll fix her up for good this time and she’ll be home in a couple of days. Cross any and all appendages available to you for luck. I printed out all the comments left for her with me and on her blog and she was so touched at the outpouring of support and good wishes. She sends her love. Now, give me some good blog gossip (real or fake) to give her. :)

It’s time for a Melanie update

2006-04-06T12:41:00.000-05:00

I just spoke to Melanie and she sends her love to the interweb. Unfortunately, she is back in the hospital. She’s having some pretty serious post-pregnancy complications. She’s feeling fine right now and is being monitored closely. She has selected me as her Official Spokesperson. I wonder if I get a cool blazer with a badge that says “Melanie Action News Team – From her Uterus to You”. She wanted me to post an update since she won’t be able to do it over at her blog for at least a few days.

Here’s what’s been happening:

Last week, Melanie was admitted to the hospital with a very high fever. It was 104 degrees when she went to the hospital and topped off at a little over 106 a short time later. With Hydration IVs and a long sponge bath by her husband (unfortunately, not as sexy as it seems), it came down. It turned out that she had a massive infection from retained placenta left over from the second placenta she delivered. They didn’t diagnose this immediately because she wasn’t having any other symptoms besides the fever. There was none of the pain normally associated with it. She was given a D&C and had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days to be sure the infection was managed properly and that she was free of fever for a set number of hours. They found two types of common bacteria and were confident that the antibiotics would take care of them. She was sent home, feeling healthy and well.

Yesterday, she started to have some heavy bleeding. Enough that it freaked her out and made her call an ambulance. She went to the hospital, they checked her out, the bleeding stopped and I guess they chalked it up to being a result of the D&C. She wasn’t having any pain (again) or any other symptoms, so home she went. And then the floodgates opened. Like the elevator in The Shining, she was gushing blood at an alarming rate and took her second ambulance ride within a few hours of the last. She said the amount of blood was so much worse, that by comparison, she could have leisurely strolled to the hospital earlier that day. The had to transfuse her with 4 units of blood, gave her another D&C, and ended up removing a blood clot the size of a football.

Clearly, something is very wrong with our Ms. Melanie.

The doctors seem perplexed and have stopped sounding so sure that this is all due to retained placenta. But maybe it is. There is talk of this ordeal ending with a partial hysterectomy, so on the scale of deals, this is a Big one. But Melanie is very pragmatic when it comes to things like this and she’s not too traumatized at the thought of the partial hysterectomy. She said that it wouldn’t change her future plans too much because she didn’t want any more that two kids before, and she certainly doesn’t want more now. So while it’s not a great solution, if it happens, she’s ready to deal with it. She’s not looking forward to the recovery it will require, but at some point, it may be the only way to stop all this craziness.

When I last spoke to her, she seemed frustrated and tired, but still as sweet as ever. She’s as comfortable as you can be lying in a hospital bed while wearing a gigantic pad, not in any pain, and is wearing her badge of Medical Mystery with extreme grace. For the time being, the bleeding has stopped. Her mother and mother-in-law are now helping Dean at home with the babes, who are doing very well but miss their mum. She asked me to thank everyone for their well wishes and the many gifts she’s received. But she also wanted me to ask people not to send her more stuff because they don’t really have room for it in their little apartment, and I also think she feels a little badly that she’s not able to thank people the way she’d like to for all their kindness. But mostly, with one husband, two babies, and three mothers, there’s just not a whole lot of space. What she does love more than anything are emails and well-wishes on her blog. Now that her computer is up and running, she can access them and it really makes her smile to see the love in her Inbox or comments section. She said that through this whole thing, she can’t stop writing blog posts in her mind about it all. She’s a blogging champ!

When I know more about her condition or anything else she wants me to tell you about (maybe a really cute doctor for one you single folks . . .) I’ll let you know. She’s trying to stay on the down-low for this hospital trip, I really think it’s starting to wear on her and she just wants to chill out, so she asked that no one call her until she’s feeling more up to it. But by all means, send all the good vibes you can muster her way. She really appreciates all the support she gets from our amazing community here in blogland.

Maryse Wuz Here

2006-03-29T19:13:00.000-05:00

Many people leave their mark when they've been somewhere. It preserves their place in history so that all who follow will know that they've been preceded by greatness.

Zorro leaves a swooshing "Z"

Gangstas leave behind intricate spraypainted tags

Maryse? She leaves sweaters on the soap.

It takes a lot to make me smile in the morning. Heck, it takes a lot for me to not wipe out entire countries in the morning. But this does the trick. Thank you, Maryse! And with summer just around the corner, the soap dispenser has been working out for bathing suit season. . . . hint, hint . . .

Last week, we headed off to Iowa for Jon's grandmother's 95th birthday and I am happy to report that I've discovered the secret to a long and happy life. Here she is demonstrating. I can't tell you how pleased I am that the secret hinges on two of my favorite things!

Sleeping and knitting (well, she crochets, but in essence, it's the same. Yes, it is. Pointy sticks, buckets of yarn, lots and lots of scarves. They have all the same symptoms.)

Actually, Edith is incredibly active, I just don't happen to have any action shots at the moment. When we arrived, she was just getting dropped off by the shuttle bus from grocery shopping. She does water aerobics a few times a week, makes hats and blankets for preemies at the local hospital, and is involved if a few church groups. She really is a powerhouse. She prefers the Word Jumble over Soduku, thank you very much, and has recently discovered a fondness for Vanilla soy milk. I don't think I could keep up with her, frankly. Now I know where my husband gets his fidgetiness from. She doesn't like to sit still, she's always buzzing around the house doing this and that, here and there. You go on with your bad self, Edie!

I got about 3/4 of the way finished with her scarf while we were there and I'm almost ready to mail it to her. I decided to do a thinner version of the Clapotis. She said the colors were perfect and this picture actually captures them pretty faithfully.

I'm really happy with it. The yarn, seen here, is Berger du Nord "Charmant". I've never heard of it before, but I'd definitley use it again. What the photo doesn't capture is the texture. It looks really shiny because it's 50% silk. But the other 50% is wool, and since it isn't plied, it has that gorgeous texture that's not rough, but lucious. And I just adore the way the bars of the dropped stitches look with this yarn. It's very rich and I can't help but stop after every pattern repeat to pet it for a little while before continuing. Good stuff, that Charmant. I got it at Neccesities for Needlework in Westborough. A few people asked about it, it's at 86 E Main St. They don't appear to have a website and I don't know Westborough all that well, but I do know it's near a CVS and a really annoying intersection. It's definitly worth a visit if you're in the area.

A now a message from Mama Melanie

2006-03-27T23:36:00.000-05:00

Spring has sprung and so has Melanie! The babies have arrived and everyone is healthy and well. Melanie and Dean are in the most amazing state of blissed out exhaustion I've ever seen. She asked me to let everyone know that she's lost complete track of blogland, not only because she's now at the beck and call of two squirming, cooing little balls of cuteness, but her computer has gone and contracted it's own version of the bird flu. She sends her heartfelt thanks for all the good wishes and feels badly that she hasn't been able to get to her email or blog to thank people herself. But she did send a little visual message to let you know just how pumped she is about motherhood:

She's my new blog hero for allowing me to post this. Of course, she's ridiculously sleep deprived and probably isn't in any state to make such decisions. I took the liberty of touching up the more provocative bits in the photo. (Jon said the flower itself looks like a breast, so it didn't really help, and possibly made things worse. I like that it looks like she's wearing a big yarn flower pastie, so there.)

The pump she has is a modern wonder. It has a clear casing so you can see the mechanism working. I've never seen one in action and I just have to say, I'm impressed. Not so much with the pumping machine, but with the Melanie machine. Milk really does shoot out of there! Crazy, man.

And here is a fantastic family portrait taken at one of their many dinnertimes. I love this photo. Dean is holding Scarlett and Melanie is holding Blu. (See Scarlett's tiny little hat? Kellee made it in the car on the way over. She made one for Blu while we were there. It's fun to knit for itty bitty people!)

Scarlett is a little smaller than her brother, but they both pack a mighty diaper! All in all, I'd say that mom and dad are handling their new "Family-of-Four" status really well. Smiles far outweighed the tired sighs. I just couldn't stop looking at the babies, then looking at Melanie and trying to figure out just how they fit in there. They're not any bigger than they were a few days earlier, so there was some major baby origami happening. There's no way we're getting them back in there.

I predict that we're all going to be fighting over who gets to push the carriages at Rhinebeck this year . . . ME FIRST!!!

Auntie Meme

2006-03-23T19:27:00.000-05:00

While I’m not much of a memer, I do love JenLa’s new Auntie Meme meme, so here goes:

1. A blog which you think people have not discovered.

Curlie Girl! She’s a knitter, a teddy bear maker, and is married to the world’s greatest needle-felter. How much better does it get? Head over and give Reba dog a scritch on the head!

2. A blog whose author lives close to you physically. Just get as close as you can, it’s all relative.

I can get to Obsession Du Jour/Kellee in 15 minutes. I should do that more often.

3. An unusual or weird animal picture.

Well, it’s not “weird” or “unusual” in the traditional sense, but Marnie Talks/Marnie is the proud owner of my cat’s canine doppelganger. Panda and Dot would be best friends if they met, I just know it!

4. An entry that made you laugh and got you strange looks from family or co-workers.

Monster Crochet's new scarf is so far up my alley, I think I'm legally engaged to it in some states!!

5. An idea you wish you’d thought of.

I want Rabbitch's blog name! Who knows, maybe I’ll just take it! Rabbitchy McYarnpants. Hmmm, I like it!

6. Something you’d like to knit.

Grumperina’s Odessa. It’s on the list and I’m looking forward to playing with the beads. And dumping them all over my living room. And trying to get them out of the cats’ mouths. And eventually excavating the glittering jewels left for me in the litter box.

7. A picture of something you consider beautiful.

Melly-belly! I’m so glad that Melanoma Uberalis/Melanie posted pictures of her ever expanding (well, not any more – yay!) belly. Wow, that was so cool to watch! (Make sure you click each word in that last sentence, or at least the first and last ones)

8. A blog whose author you’d like to one day meet in person.

I just love me some Panopticon/Franklin. I admit it, I’m smitten.

9. A blog of someone you have already met in person.

I am so delighted to have met Etherknitter/Laurie. She really is the best. I don’t think she realizes how much I look forward to the times I do see her, as rare as those times are. She always makes me smile. That’s how I know her husband is going to be just fine during his recovery from his skiing accident. He’s in good hands.

*One of the rules is that you have to use the blog name to where you're linking, hence the blog name/human name in many items.

Science Sweaters for Everyone!

2006-03-14T20:02:00.000-05:00

I was digging through a pile of mail on my kitchen table the other day and found this postcard!

I don’t remember seeing it, so Jon must have taken the mail in at some point and failed to mention the postcard with the cute sheep and the giant yarn sale. I assumed it was from Webs or one of the million other places that taunts me with their delicious wool. Intrigued, I took a closer look.

Uuummmmm . . . wha . . .? What is this contraption all about? What is going on here? Some new way of spinning or dying or some other fiber-related activity that I haven’t spent any money on yet?

Oh! I see! It’s a whole new use that I never thought of! If I had a nickel for everyone who ever asked me, “Stitchy, I really need to separate the leukocytes from the peripheral blood, and the T-cells from the B-cells! But how? Isn’t there something that granulocytes and B-cells will stick to that the T-cells won’t? It’s just so maddening!”

Well, rest assured, my little bio-knitters, I’ve finally got a solution for you. Nylon wool! At $180 for 50g, it’s a little pricey, but won’t you feel better knowing that your new scarf has the ability to distinguish that peripheral blood from all the rest?

And as Charlene (who works in a lab) points out on this card she left in my mailbox, you could make a smashing sweater - a Science Sweater - with it! Thanks for the tip, Chuckles. See if you can genetically engineer some of those nylon sheep in miniature so they can live in our back yard.

And in more mundane, less bloody knitting news, progress on Jon’s new Manly sweater is excruciatingly slow. I had to rip almost an entire sleeve because I misread the directions and wonked it up something awful. I just started the second sleeve and was hoping to have it done for the weekend, but I just don’t think it’s going to happen.

We’re heading to Iowa for his grandmother’s 95th birthday on Friday (yes, this grandmother) and I’m whipping up a little something for her. I don’t think it’ll be finished for her actual party, but it could be finished before we leave a couple of days later. We shall see. A gift on the needles is still a gift, I always say. No photos of that yet since I’m not even sure exactly what I’m going to make yet, but it will be made of some pretty 50% wool and 50% silk that I picked up today at Necessities For Needlework in Westborough. It’s a great store and the owner is so friendly and helpful. It took me less than 5 minutes to find exactly what I wanted, I just asked for some silk/wool and she put the exact right yarn and colorway directly into my hand. It was actually such a welcome little break in my day. Usually I eat lunch at my desk and never leave the building during work, but I’m going to have to start making more trips out. I felt so . . . human . . . getting out into the sun (yes, March dangled some sun in front of me. I may be falling for it again) and discussing shawls with another customer who was in the shop. It was downright pleasant!

Love Marches On

2006-03-12T21:33:00.000-05:00

It’s that time of year again. March. It was gorgeous outside on Friday, wasn’t it? Stop nodding! It wasn’t! It was just a trick, an illusion, a fetid carrot dangling on a twisted stick. You’ll see, we’ll be up to our noses in snow before you know it.

So what does one do during the month they like least? Get hitched! That’s right, battle the blahs and give yourself a good reason to escape from March once in a while. Last Wednesday, Jon and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary. I intended to post on Wednesday, but I ended up working late all week. I decided that since I’m always doing everything else late, why should a celebration of our love be any different?

Last year I posted a bunch of our wedding photos. This year, I figured I’d take a look at the post-marital festivities. No, not those. The other ones. Since we pretty much had a do-it-yourself wedding, we had a lot of preparation and cleaning up to do. I had a lot of help and couldn’t have done it without everyone who gave us a hand. But still, by the end of the day, we were exhausted. Turns out, committing to an eternity together really takes a lot out of you.

Here are a couple of my favorite pictures from the whole day. They make me smile because I just remember what a great day we’d had and how tired we were, and how excited we were to go on our honeymoon cruise the next day. It was such a good tired. They also make me happy because they’re so silly.

A few people came back to the house so we could hang out, chat, and open our gifts. We were getting really punchy.

Observe:

Clearly, Jon loves this radio. I do, too. We use it almost every day. I loved it when I opened it, so I’m not sure what the face is all about. Oh yeah, I was reeeeally tired.

It’s all class with us. This is actually the picture that I put in the little silver frame on the cover of our photo album.

And here we are on our honeymoon, hanging out with the luxurious cruise ship casino décor.

And lastly, here is one of my favorite portraits of us. So warm and sunny, little minnows swimming below . . . ~sigh~ It’s what March should be.

Happy Anniversary, Jon! I love you, baby!!

A Call for Peace!

2006-03-05T13:14:00.000-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I come to you with a vision for our future. A vision of peace and brotherhood at circuses, children’s parties, and rodeos the world over. Clown on clown violence has reached alarming proportions and must end now. I implore you, lay down your cream pies, drain your squirting lapel flowers, and empty your buckets of water or confetti or whatever it is in there. Raising a giant foam rubber mallet in anger is not the answer. And please, try to keep your size 42 feet where the sun does shine. Brothers and sisters in clowndom, extend a buzzer-free hand of friendship to one other and remember, there’s room in the car for everyone. Now go and seek out your enemies so that you may make up, even if it is with a novelty-sized powder puff. Can I get an A ~honk honk~ men!!

Yo.

2006-03-01T18:31:00.000-05:00

Did you ever mean to get in touch with someone and put it off for a day or two? And then, suddenly a week goes by and you forgot what you were going to tell them when you were going to contact them the week before, so you hold off until you can remember? And then all of a sudden it’s like two weeks and now, there are quite a few things to update them on so that you need to carve out some time to think about it all, but because you’re really busy, you never get a chance to carve? And then, holy moley, it’s three weeks or something and now you have too much to write about, but can’t remember half of it and then, because you’ve put it off for so long that you feel like it had better be good when you do finally get in touch, but you can’t think of anything good, so you keep putting it off?

No? Oh.

Well, I’ve decided to just bullet list a few items because the more I try to be cohesive, the more days go by. Even my dad mentioned that I haven’t blogged since the 10th. And when your dad starts noticing that your knitting blog isn’t getting updated, well, action must be taken.

- I am not a Gold Medal winner in the Knitting Olympics. I got the back and front of Jon’s sweater done and am working on the sleeves now. Why do sleeves take so much longer than the rest of the sweater? Is there some kind of screwy quantum mechanics at work with sleeves?

- Thanks to Stephanie for challenging us in the first place. If nothing else, she gave us a chance to have some really good get-togethers. And big ups to Kellee and Wendy for co-conspiring with me on Team Boston! I’m delighted that so many people joined up. I didn’t think my Bloglines list could get much bigger, but I was wrong. It was a pleasure meeting everyone that I did!

- Cara threw a great Closing Ceremonies party on Sunday! I got there a bit late because I was visiting with Ms. Melanie, who is looking wonderful. I missed a bunch of people who left before I got there, but it was a fun time. I am making plans now to gain squatters rights in her in-laws house. If I just move in, what can they do, right? This house was a dream for any old-home lover. The flocked wallpaper, the knick-knacks, vintage dishes in the cabinets that have been there since they were new, the UNPAINTED WOODWORK everywhere . . . everything about this house was amazing.

- Today is the first day of March. Some people are happy to be finished with February. Me, I hate March. At least you know where you stand with February. Sure, March brings us that much closer to Spring and gives us a reason to drink green beer. But it cruelly exploits the fact that our toes are freezing. We’ll grasp at any glimmer of springtime and March even tosses us an occasional nice-ish day. And then you start thinking “Wow, March really is a mighty fine month.” It tricks you and sucks you in with a vague feeling of warmth. And then what happens every year? Yep. At least one huge snowstorm and some of the coldest weather of the year. I used to get fooled every year, but no more! I’m on to you, March. I got my eye on you.

- Welp, they aren’t Owen and Mzee, but more animals are jumping on the bandwagon. You go, animals! (FYI - the second link is a video)

- Eeerrmmmmm . . . . that is all. For now. Normal blogging will resume tomorrow and everything will be fine.

And for your viewing pleasure, I’m going to leave you with a lovely installation that our own resident artist, Chloe, created just for you. She calles it “Feline Angst”. This piece utilizes an intriguing mandibular process applied to half a roll of toilet paper. Because she’s a purist, she prefers the simple texture of ScottTissue rather than the ostentatious fluff of Charmin. She finds a single-ply roll has better shredability and a nicer mouth feel. She also works in notebook, magazine, past-due bill notice, and important documentation. To our delight, she is teaching her craft to Mike. The kid has a future in cardboard box work.

Last Minute Olympic Decision

2006-02-10T13:02:00.000-05:00

OK, I’ve finally decided what I’m making for the Olympics. Did you really expect me to decide before today? Seriously, I live for the last minute. And the 10-15 minutes after the last minute are pretty important to me, too. It’s the exact thing I knew I’d be making all along, but I didn’t want to settle on it right away. I wanted to explore my options, see what’s out there. You know, stretch the old needles beyond my boundaries a little.

See, I was toying with a few different ideas. A whole slew of mittens, a mountain of socks, a gorgeous lace shawl. But then I decided that I wanted to make something for my darling husband. I’ve been working really long hours over the past month or so (well, really for the past three years or so, since my current company was started.) and if you add knitting to that, well, poor Jon has been neglected for a while now. I feel terribly about it, so I thought if he was going to be neglected for at least another 16 days due to the Knitting Olympics, I should really make something for him. Jon is a really basic kind if guy. His color palette runs from green to grey. Maybe an occasional splash of dark red or blue here and there. The first sweater I ever made for him was Manly from Stitch ‘n’ Bitch. (He won the Hot Model portion of Drew’s ManAlong a while ago with that sweater.) The only change I made was that he didn’t want a stripe. Plain. He wanted it plain.

And so I looked hither and yon for a suitable sweater to make him. I pulled out a bunch of vintage mens’ pattern books, bookmarked the few mens’ patterns from my modern pattern books, and trolled the internet for something he’d like. Each one was a little bit not quite right. Turns out he’s not into cables, he’s picky about necks, doesn’t like weird texture, and just forget about a cardigan. Every time I showed him a sweater, he looked at his Manly (which he wears all the time) and said it just wasn’t as good. He loves that sweater even though it’s kind of small, the seams are a little wonky at the arm holes, and it doesn’t fit quite right because I knit it in the round rather than in pieces like it should have been. He calls it his sci-fi sweater because he wants to wear it in to the point of looking ratty and grimly futuristic. Then it will be perfect.

And so, because he has such love for this sweater, because no other can compare in his eyes, because I love him to bits, I will be making another Manly. Manly Redux! This time, I’m going to make it larger, make it better, make it stronger. This sweater is going to be bionic. And it’s going to be brown. Conveniently, I have two cones of the same yarn the original green one was made with, only in a nice tweedy brown. No stripe again, please.

I feel like it’s sort of a cheat because I’ve already made it and it’s pretty simple. But given the amount of time I’ve had lately, just getting this done in 16 days is going to be pushing it. I’m so looking forward to meeting up with Team Boston at Doyle’s tonight for the Opening Ceremonies. And I hope everyone else has fun plans tonight to kick this thing off. And I’d also like to thank Stephanie for starting this whole crazy thing in the first place. It’s just what we all need during the winter. Even if it is an unusually spring-like winter.

I have been assimilated.

2006-02-08T13:49:00.000-05:00

We are sock knitter. Our singular goal is the consumption of sock yarn. We seek to amass all the sock yarn in the universe into our collective for the purpose of sock knitting. Adaptation to various methods of sock knitting is inevitable. We will use our hive mind to knit socks until there are no more socks to knit. Our socks will be of all colors, patterns, and size. We will not be stopped, we will not be swayed, we will not be conquered, we will only knit socks. In this version of sock knitting, we used KnitPicks dye-our-own sock yarn. We dyed it at Julia of Nine's yarn dying party some time ago.

We encountered a small technical glitch with this little side piece which we believe is identified as the gusset, but we’re not entirely affirmative. It’s the sector in which we reunite the heel with the sock. It appears that we need to adapt our skills to avoid future iterations of this irregularity.

We will now focus our laser eyesight on the background of the initial visual representation of the socks. They are cat. More accurately, they are large cat in a small box. They are silly and cute. Soon they, too, will be sock knitter.

Resistance is futile.

Drive-By Posting

2006-02-01T20:00:00.000-05:00

beep beep

Just had to pop in to say that I’ve been trying to post, but every time I get a second, something comes up. So I’m just going to do a lickety-split update for now.

1. Circles Salon in JP is offering a 10% discount to all Team Boston members for supplies used in their Olympic project. How cool is that?! And it’s 15% on the day of the Opening Ceremonies. And since we’re all going to meet at Doyles that night for our own opening ceremony, and it is right around the corner, well, we all know what has to happen. Last minute preparations are the best!

2. Mittens are finished and they’re faboo! Can’t wait to make more. They're made with Rowan’s Cashsoft Aran. I used a little over one ball of the color "Burst" and about half to three-quarters of a ball of "Oat". So now I have leftover yarn, which means if I buy a little more, I can make another pair. And if I have any of that left over, I'll just get a wee bit more and I'll just keep knitting aaand knitting aaand knitting aaand knitting aaand knitting.

3. Loooooook! With the kind and patient help of the adorably curvaceous Ms. Melanie, I am now fully qualified to operate dpns! Do you see any ladders? No, you don’t. She has taught me well and now I’m totally hooked on this sock thing! I know, it seems I’m always late to the party. Chloe here looks like she could use some socks, doesn’t she?

4. It would seem that Owen and Mzee have started the ball rolling and other creatures are joining in! Is this just a publicity stunt by the Union of the Snakes* to make themselves appear more likeable? Time will tell. Meanwhile, little “Meal” the hamster should probably sleep with one eye open, just in case.

5. Mike has requseted that I make him the cashmere pullover from Weekend Knitting. I tried to explain that it was a ladies sweater, but he would have none of it. He also would like me to make it from his own luxurious fur.

I’ve done my best to make this fur harvest as painless as possible.

6. I also want to chime in that I had a fantastic time at Claudia’s a week and a half ago, but I was remiss in posting my joy. It was a blast and Claudia is a super hostess. The food was amazing and my fellow guests were as delightful as ever. As promised, here is the recipe I used to make my mom’s brownies. They’re more like a dense chocolate cake. I feel like I have to say that, because they aren't what you'd expect when you say "brownies", but they're way more than you'd exect if you simply said "cake".

Stella’s Killer Chocolate Brownies

Mix in bowl:
2 cups sugar
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda

Bring to boil in saucepan:
1¼ bars butter**
4 tbsp. cocoa (I used the Dutch Processes dark cocoa, and I used about five)
1 cup water

Add hot ingredients to flour mixture slowly, mixing constantly

Once they’re combined, add:
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla (but really, who can stop at one?)

Bank in 9x13 pan at 350 for 20-25 minutes.

Frosting: (this also helps when you’re having a massive craving for fudge. You can whip up a little bit in minutes. Trust me.)

Melt:
¼ cup butter
4 tbsp. cocoa (again, just four, mom?)
7 tbsp (approx) milk
¾ box powdered sugar (add it slowly, mixing it in completely before adding more. Stop before it gets too dry. It should be shiny and goopy.)

Frost immediately while everything is still hot. That way, all you have to do is kind of pour the frosting on and smear it around a little. It will melt pretty smoothly over the hot brownies. Cut into small squares so it doesn't seem like you're eating that many.

**edited for our foreign, potentially metric-using friends. A bar/stick of butter = 1/2 cup = 8 tablespoons = 4 ounces = 113.3980925 grams. Here, check this out, a whole page just for butter conversion!! I'm going to marry the internet someday, I love it so.

*Yes, I was a big fan of Duran Duran, why do you ask?

Attention all Boston-area-ish knitters!

2006-01-24T10:55:00.000-05:00

As you all know, The Yarn Harlot has issued a challenge. Not only is she challenging our knitting bravado, she is asking us to put our collective sanity on the line for her amusement (sure, she’ll say it’s so we can feel some sense of accomplishment, but really, she wants to see us squirm). And against every instinct I possess, I have decided to take up this challenge. But I can’t do it alone. Bookish Wendy, Obsession Kellee, and I have decided to co-sponsor Team Boston in the first Knitting Olympics.

If you’re interested, head over to the Team Boston blog to learn how you can participate! Click the bra and let your Olympic odyssey begin!

Just an update to tell you that the buttons have arrived! They're great! Mr. Bookish made them for us and they're fresh out of the oven. Get 'em while they're hot! And don't forget, if you don't want to join the Olympics, but still want to take part in the fun, you can join Team Boston's Cheerleading Squad. You know you want to.

~gasp~

2006-01-18T18:47:00.000-05:00

cough . . . splutter . . . pblblblblllttttt

Phew! I’m just slipping my head out of my work-induced cocoon for a moment to let you all know that I haven’t pupated or anything yet. I’m still here! But before long, I’ll be emerging as a beautiful butterfly. It’s what makes this seclusion worth it. These long hours slaving away in the software mines is going to pay off big when I’ve sprouted wings and can fly away from the shackles of the computer. Why else would I be working so hard for this client who doesn’t seem to appreciate all of my and my co-workers excruciatingly endless hours of dedication to their satisfaction? Surely my cramped and hunched body will be left slumped over the laptop when I burst free with my exciting new look! Right?

What?

I’m not going to pupate? Well, then why did I think I was?

Oh! It’s because I’ve been working too much and have started to hallucinate from staring at the computer screen for 16 hours a day! Right! That would explain the tremors and overall oogyness and feelings of agoraphobia setting in. I’ve become a work hermit! My skin has become pale and thin. My eyes have adapted to the glow of the computer screen and my pupils have taken on a rather interesting swirling effect. My fingers are permanently bent for optimal mouse manipulation. My mind is a finely honed instrument, trained to think of nothing but work. Suddenly half a bag of Doritos is a sensible lunch. My cats have been lost under indistinguishable piles of both clean and dirty laundry, their muffled cries going unheeded. My husband has been assimilated by some sort of creature born of the stack of dirty dishes and he now insists on being referred to as MoldySinkCrud453. The dust bunnies have started growling for attention and my eyelids just fell off. Things at Chez Stitchy are dire.

But I did make a mitten! Lookee! I used Rowan’s Cashsoft Aran and I am smitten with this here mitten. It’s my first, so I’m inordinately pleased with it.

It’s so soft and rich-feeling, a bona-fide tactile delight. The other one is not far behind, these babies go quick. I’m using a 2-needle pattern from the 70’s and I really like it. There's a seam along the side, but you can't really feel it. Well, you can, but you can damn well ignore it, thankyouverymuch. I’m still eyeing the dpns with a little suspicion. I went to Patternworks over the weekend with my mom and mother-in-law (my dad waited very patiently in the car), and along with the Cashsoft, I picked up the instructional booklet about the Magic Loop method of sock-making. I got a set of size 7 Addi turbos to start with. They were out of 40” cables, so I got the 32”. I think they’ll work just fine.

I also started making Samus using the K1C2 Creme Brulee I got a Webs a while back. I wanted to do something a little more challenging, but not outrageous. I’ve been working so much lately that I haven’t been able to focus on anything really detailed. I thought this was a good start.

I’ve messed around a bit with cables, but this is the first real piece I’ll be putting them on, so I’m taking it easy. Slow and steady wins the race and all of that. So far, I’m loving it. I’m not good enough to do cables completely without the cable needle yet, but I’m also not knitting off it either. I’m sort of doing a hybrid of taking the stitches off the left needle with the cable needle and replacing them after I’ve grabbed the other stitches off the right needle, then knitting everything off the left needle. I find myself fumbling around a lot less. Eventually, I'll lose the cable needle all together and just go balls to the wall without it. Wooo! I live on the edge, babies.

The Clapotis is finished and it seems to have sprouted some sort of tenticular (that’s with an ‘n’, cheeky monkeys) appendage on the corner. I haven’t blocked it yet, so I’m still debating on whether to keep the ancillary arm and chalk it up to evolution or rip out the corner and even it out as best I can. What say you? Cosmetic surgery for the Clap or should I let its freak flag fly?

So, is anyone else sorely tempted to join The Yarn Harlot’s Knitting Olympics? I know Kellee is joining (she didn’t have to actually tell me, I just knew). I’m tempted, but I just don’t know if I can do that to my husband. He’s such a nice man, I would hate to put him through that.

Thanks to everyone for their kind words and well wishes on my last post. (for a real "awwww" moment, look at one of the last comments on that post. It's from my dad. awwwwwww) I really look forward to seeing what 2006 will bring. It’s like that game show “Let’s Make a Deal”. I hope everyone picks the right door. But even if you don’t, who couldn’t use a new pet donkey? (do you think people actually got to keep their gag gifts. I mean, some people might really want a donkey.)

Happy Belated New Year!

2006-01-08T23:56:00.000-05:00

I haven’t felt particularly inclined to do an end-of-the-year post, but then, I suddenly was. A little late, but if you know one thing about me, it’s that I work on my own timetable. It’s irritating to everyone else who doesn’t live my own personal time zone, which is everyone. Love me, love my screwed-up internal clock.

This year has been a really weird one. Lots of good stuff, plenty of bad stuff, even more boring stuff. Today was my due date from the pregnancy I lost in June. I haven’t really been dwelling on it, but I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t been on my mind lately. You can’t help but look back at the past year and try to encapsulate it. It’s what starting a new year is all about. Try as I might, I can’t even imagine having a kid today. Literally today. Our house isn’t even fit for a baby to visit, never mind live in! I know we would have gotten everything pulled together and we’d be as ready as we’d ever be, but it still blows my mind to think of how amazingly different our lives would be right now, at this very moment. It’s like trying to envision a parallel universe. It’s a not-so-subtle reminder that life is a series of events very loosely strung together. Something happens, you react, something else happens, you do your best to deal with it, something else happens, you say “What?!?” and so on and so on and so on. And all the while, the world keeps spinning, life moves on, and the only thing you can do is roll with it until . . . well, until you don’t have to any more. There were endless possibilities for what “January-8th-me” would have been up to, who I would be, where my energies would be focused. Two of them are enough for me to try to work out, but every day, every hour, every minute, something can happen to change your direction entirely. Weird.

I used to scare myself silly when I was little thinking about this sort of thing. I would imagine what would have happened if my parents hadn’t met when they did, if at all. What if I had been “made” on a different day? Would I still be me? Would I be at all? Who would I be, if not me? Maybe I actually was the result of someone being conceived on a different day. Maybe I was actually someone else entirely, and yet still me and I would never know it! Who was I? Who did the other kids in the playground see when they saw me? Did they even see me? And then I would repeat this over and over until I was completely freaked out. “I am me. I am me. I am me.” and from there, it became “I am. I am. I am . . . “ I felt very small.

And other times, I would say the word “turtle” over and over again until I no longer had any idea what the word meant. It would seem that I’ve spent a fair amount of time messing with my own head.

Anyway, as much as I didn’t want to, my mind has labeled 2005 as the year I had three miscarriages. I can’t help it, I’m a labeler. 1994 was the year Kurt Cobain died. 2000 was the year I turned 31 (I had been calculating since childhood!). 2003 was the year I got married. Heh, 1992 is simply labeled “grunge” and I have no real idea what happened that year. But I feel like I can leave 2005 behind me and move on knowing that I did my best with the challenges that I was faced with and enjoyed the good stuff as much as I could. I leave it with a strange mixture of melancholy, relief, sentimentality, satisfaction, and a healthy pinch a drama-queendom. As ever, there is always room for improvement. Who knows what 2006 will be – could be anything. Isn’t that wild? ANYTHING. And that goes for all of you. Any-freaking-thing. Put that on your needles and knit it!

Here’s to a new year full of endless possibilities! May 2006 just be cool and not get all up in your grill.

You Think I'm Lazy! You Really Think I'm Lazy!! Thank you!

2006-01-07T00:23:00.000-05:00

Well, I’ve done it again! For the second year in a row, I’ve won a coveted spot in the Second Annual JenLa Best of Awards! The ceremony was very touching, especially their warm and sincere invitation to kiss their collective asses if the winners wanted a “twee little button” to display on our blogs. But I didn’t cry. There was something in my eye, it was a cat hair or something. I won for the same thing last year and I’m deeply touched. I must say, it looks like I may win the category every year. Maybe they’ll rename it the Stitchy Award in honor of yours truly. And what honor did the dishy divas of da blogs bestow upon me?

Blog We’d Most Like to Pressure to Post More

That’s right people, I’ve managed to disappoint Jen and La for the second year in a row with my half-assery. Last year, I shared the honor with Skittermagoo and this year, it seems that The Scottish Lamb has been slacking off. Nice work, Scottie. ;) Last year, I was in a three-way tie for “Blog We Most Wish Had a Button”. Well, wouldn’t you know that I am truly motivated by a public shaming, so I immediately created a whole array of dazzling buttons. I think I also promised to blog more. Heh, one out of two ain’t bad, right?

So this year, having only won a single category, I am more able to focus my attention on my duties. I hereby promise that I will renew my commitment to blogging. I will restake my claim on the internets. I will take my rightful place as the bestest, most prolific and interesting blogger that has ever existed. Next stop – World Domination!! At the very least, I swear that I will try to try to post more. And considering that the awards ceremony was almost a week ago and I’m only getting around to blogging about it now, I’m off to a mighty fine start.

Honestly, I really am flattered that they like me enough to want to read more. Thank you so much, gals! I will do my best to impress. Maybe I’ll start swearing so I can usurp Rabbitch next year!

Moving along, I’d like to thank everyone for all their helpful comments about dpns. I love that I got a nice mixture of detailed hints and eh – don’t worry about it’s. You guys are awesome. I printed them all out and put them in my knitting bag in case I ever feel compelled to have another go. I think maybe I should try the two circs with Addis or Denise needles, I think I was using your basic Boye aluminums and they have a big, fat lump between the cable and the needle. I haven’t given up, but I’m not beating myself up about it, either.

And someone asked how I was able to see the Google keywords that people used to find my site. I use StatCounter to track my traffic. It’s free and Blogger mentioned it in their help section about tracking software. I like it, it’s pretty basic and was easy to set up. Sometimes you get a really creepy keyword search and you can’t help but try to figure out why your blog showed up in that search.

I just listened to the Courtship of Eddie’s Father song while looking at Owen and Mzee again, and as it turns out, the closer I get to my period, the closer I get to crying. Damn, but those little dudes are cute. Here are some more pictures.

And while I was searching for pictures, I discovered an entire website about Owen and Mzee. You can read all about their friendship from the beginning. The blog begins on the fifth day that they had Owen.

I don’t know why, but these two have just captured my heart. That’s such a dopey sentence to type out, but there’s something about these two guys. Not classically cute, one is a baby, the other is over 100-years-old, one is a mammal, the other a reptile. They have nothing in common besides enjoying a dip in the lake now and then, but they’re buddies, dammit. Oh man, there’s another cat hair in my eye.

Best Keyword Search Day - Ever.

2005-12-29T22:44:00.000-05:00

I wish I could get everyone who did these Google searches and ended up here together for a party.

johnny damon / micky dolenz
knit pom pom fetish
my headgear pic
pills mistaken for candy
why crochet scratchy
how to make a beer hat
farrah faucet naked

'Nuff said. Internet, have I told you lately that I love you?

Oh, and here's something that will soften even the most cold and brittle of hearts. If this doesn't make you smile, you may want to check your chest for a circuit panel becuase I think you may be a robot.

I can't help it, I have to include the picture from the story I linked. It's just too much cute to resist. When you look at it, play the theme song from "The Courtship of Eddie's Father" and you might just going into a diabetic coma. But it will be totally worth it.

*I just wanted to add my prediction that these two will be made into a Disney or Pixar cartoon and I'll have toy versions of Owen and Mzee by 2007. I can't wait!

I should take up knitting

2005-12-29T14:45:00.000-05:00

I know, I know. This is supposed to be a knitting blog, so where’s the ever-lovin’ knitting?? Well, I haven’t been very productive with yarn lately. It’s a total bummer. Work has just been so busy, I can’t get a good solid chunk of time to really get into something as challenging as I’d like. I’m still working on Clapotis and have promised myself that I would make some mittens by the end of January, as well. Of course, I’m totally useless with dpns and am more likely to put out an eye (either mine or that of an innocent bystander) with those things than actually produce something useful. I tell you, I’ve tried and tried and tried. I completely understand how it’s supposed to work. I’ve read loads of tutorials. I’ve looked at painstakingly detailed photos of every step of the process. I’ve watched other living humans crank out socks with no problem whatsoever. I just. Can’t. Do it. My hands, it seems, want no part of it. I can’t hold all the needles right and they go every which way, then the yarn gets all tangled in the needles and then I do the thing where you tighten the stitch to avoid the ladder and end up with not only a ladder, but the ladder has a neighboring row of stitches that are tiny and cowering.

And yes, I’ve tried the two-circular method and it just served to further disgust me. I had a major problem getting the stitches past the joins on the needles when I switched sides. I had to pry them over with what seemed like excessive force. And again with the ladders and their terrified neighbors. It’s just not happening, kids.

Luckily I found an old pattern (among my heaps of old patterns) for mittens that are knit flat, then folded and seamed. How will they look? Who knows, probably crappy, but when my hands are ensconced on some luxurious wool or other, I won’t care. Honestly, I might as well just shove each hand into the center of a skein of yarn and just move on.

In other, more happy-making news – I got Sirius radio! (I admit it. My guiltiest of pleasures is listening to Howard Stern. There, I said it. Or typed it. Whatever. Why are you looking at me like that? Don’t leave!) Turns out, satellite radio is amazing! My drive to work is an hour each way, so I have a lot of time to invest in the radio. I got the Sportster Replay boombox package, so I can listen to it when I work from home, too. During this morning’s commute, I heard Adam Ant, Tom Waits, The Smiths, Freedy Johnson, and some comedy bits by Eddie Izzard and Jerry Seinfeld. When is the last time you heard Tom Waits on the radio? Never, that’s when! And do you know what I didn’t hear? Commercials. Not one. As you scan channels, you can see the name of the artist and song playing (or the name of the show and host if there’s a talk show on), so you can just zip right by without stopping and find something you like on one of the other 120 stations. I listened to a cooking show the other day! There are two NPR stations! We drove to my parent’s two hours away for Christmas and never lost the signal (it transmits to your car radio – you pick the station that has nothing else being broadcasted to it). I’m hooked, I tell you!

Merry Ho Ho!!

2005-12-25T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Making Christmas dreams come true . . .

2005-12-23T12:34:00.000-05:00

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Museum of Kitschy Stitches VIII: Special Non-Yarn-Related Holiday Edition

2005-12-22T18:00:00.000-05:00

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I have seen the future of knitting and . . .

2005-12-11T23:14:00.000-05:00

It. Is. Adorable!

This is Madison. She just turned 10 and she’s a knitter. Her mom taught her when she was 8 and she’s made a number of scarves for friends and grandparents. Her current WIP is a light green wool scarf. When it’s finished, she’s going to put pink pom-poms at the ends to jazz it up.

Now, when I say she’s a knitter, I don’t just mean that she happens to know how to knit. Heck, you can teach a monkey how to knit, but you can’t convince it that starting a knitted sweater for it’s cage mate two weeks before Christmas is anything but a bad idea. Nope, Maddy is one of us (one of us, one of us!). I was showing her parents something in the kitchen and as she waited patiently for the boring grown-ups to finish their boring grown-up conversation, she stood there with her little knitting bag hanging on her wrist and was KNITTING! She’s a standing knitter, people!

She also confided to me that it’s totally annoying that when you give handknits to people, they don’t understand that they have to hand wash it and never put it in the dryer. They need to take special care of this stuff. It’s exasperating for us all, to be sure.

And so what else could I do but drag her up to my apartment and help her on her way to SABLE status. Seeing as how she’s only 10, she’s going to need a HUGE stash, and I did what I could. I let her pick some stuff out and I also gave her some special things I had tucked away. I’ll admit there’s some candy-colored Berroco Plush in there, but there’s also some undyed alpaca.

When it was time for them to go, I’ll give you one guess what she said. All together now . . . “One more row!!”

Maddy’s dad is Scott, my brother’s college roommate. Because I’m in such a ridiculous state of denial about being 36, I still remember hanging out with Scotty and my brother at the dorms like it was yesterday. It’s like no time has passed and the only difference is that people just don’t think Howard Jones is da bomb any more. Sometimes I’m still taken aback by the fact that he has three little girls (and a female cat, and he’s just assuming that the guinea pig and the parakeet are girls. He also works in an office of 16 people and he’s the only guy. Scott is the very definition of a ladies’ man.)

Maddy’s mom is Shanna, a fellow knitter and real peach! I don’t know her nearly as well as I do Scott and I don’t get a chance to see their family as much as I’d like to. But as soon as I saw Shanna the other night, I forewent the traditional “Hello, nice to see you.” and went with a finger pointing exclamation of “Clapotis!” It’s the customary greeting of knitters in the wild, is it not? It just so happened that Shanna was wearing a gorgeous Clapotis made with this incredible silk/merino that I failed to photograph. It had the perfect texture for that scarf with just enough unevenness in its single ply. You’ll recognize one of her other daughters, Emma, from this photo from Jon’s and my wedding. She’s the short one. Perhaps Camryn (I’m pretty sure it’s “Camryn” and not “Cameron”, but I’ll need a judgment on that. Shanna??) will model something for us someday so you can see her. They really are the sweetest little girls ever, always with the pleases and thanks yous.

Here’s the thing, Shanna is an avid blog reader and yet I can’t link you to hers. Know why? Ain’t got one. That’s right. Can you stand it? All in favor of Shanna and Maddy starting a blog together, say Aye! (and maybe give them at least one good reason as to why they should join us (join us, join uussssss))

Aye! One of the best reasons I can think of to start a blog are all the amazing people you'll meet. It really is a wonderland of delightful people out here.

Elongated Debriefing

2005-12-04T22:23:00.000-05:00

For every action, there is a reaction. And for every vacation, there are ramifications (and, according to the rhyming dictionary, you also need to deal with abdication, adjudication, altercation, complication, confiscation, demarcation, desiccation, dislocation, invocation, gasification, medication, obfuscation, relocation, suffocation, and vindication) It seems like every time I go away, it takes at least as long as the vacation to get myself back in gear. This time was no different.

But you know what? I’m not going to bother rehashing the past couple of weeks of tiredness and workload and yadda yadda. I was going to go on about it, but what’s the point? It’s pretty boring, nothing earth-shattering. Just me feeling kind of blah and out of it. But I did finally manage to get my vacation pictures uploaded and labeled, so check ‘em out! Hopefully this link works, someone be a dear and let me know if it doesn’t.

I feel like I waited too long to blog about Spain. It seems like it was months ago. But what I do remember was that it was a-freaking-mazing! I highly recommend it. This is the actual trip we took and it was just what I hoped it would be. I’d actually go again on the same trip with Jon because I really think he would love it. He’s not big on traveling and I was sort of checking this trip out to see if it would be his kind of thing. It totally would. The Cortijo (the inn) was amazing with a great staff, fantastic food every night, and a plethora of cats and dogs for the cuddling. The tour guide was a really good guy with a pleasant, laid back personality, even if he did cheat at Speed Scrabble (seriously, just because it's on the Sound of Music soundtrack does not mean that "fa" is a word. Neither are "re" and "la"). And the 10 or so other people that were on the tour with us were delightful. Charlene and I were the only Americans and I have to say, it was really refreshing to be the one with the accent. There were people from England, Ireland, Scotland, and Germany. Three people were traveling alone, which always seemed a little scary to me. But once you witness the dynamic of the tour group, it makes perfect sense. Forging new relationships in strange lands seems the way to go!

As for the region itself, it’s hard for me to describe southern Spain. Sweeping vistas, rolling countryside, and a herd of sheep led past the Cortijo twice a day! (I checked and they looked like meat sheep, not wool sheep.) And we just don’t have the same kind of architecture here, so walking into a palace where every room is covered in hand-painted tiles and incredibly detailed carvings of intricate design, it’s a little hard to process. That’s another reason I’d like to go back. Now that I’ve looked at it, I think I’d have an easier time actually seeing it the second time around.

I think the place that had the most effect one me was the Mezquita in Cordoba. It was the site of many a conquering, but during it’s last conquering in 1236, it was switched over to a Christian establishment. Later, in the 16th century, they tarted it all up with the notion that God really digs the bling. It was like an arms race between rich people to prove who loved God more. Jesus would have hated the whole thing. The artistry and craftsmanship were astounding, but it was so over the top that it kind of left a bad taste in your mouth. It was sad and beautiful and disturbing and hilarious and sickening and awe-inspiring, all at the same time.

And of course, the food was to die for! Between all the walking and the fresh, unprocessed food, I definitely came back in better shape than when I left. (But fret not. I've undone all that good and am back to my couch-potatoey goodness.) Tapas is a great way to eat, they just keep bringing plates of this and that to the table. Since the tour guide ordered it for us all the time, we never knew what was coming next or when it would end. There were plates of cheese, thinly sliced ham special to the region, roasted peppers in olive oil, chicken croquettes, meatballs, chorizo, seafood, fresh asparagus, tomatoes drizzled with olive oil, and lots of other delicious nibbly things. And they always served lunch with pitchers of sangria, beer, and orange juice. Imagine that. Entire pitchers of fresh orange juice. Not those little tiny glasses that are metered out here in the US.

We also went to London for five days and had a blast. There is SO much to do there, I definitely need to go back. We did mostly touristy stuff and all your hints, tips, and suggestions really helped. We took a double-decker tour to get the layout of the land, went to the V&A, the London Eye, Tower of London, Harrods, Marks and Spenser’s food stores, and walked around a lot. We also saw Ewan in Guys and Dolls. The seats were spitting distance, you could actually see them spitting! He was adorable, as we all knew he would be. We even waited at the exit for a while to get his autograph, but he never came out. Well, he probably did eventually, but we didn’t hang around for it. We also saw Rob Lowe in a production of A Few Good Men. We got half price tickets in the morning. It was ok, but I’m partial to showy musicals myself. It was fun to see Sodapop in person. We didn’t wait out back, so I don’t know if he graced the public with his presence.

But there was one highlight of my trip that I cannot overlook. I knit the manager of the Cortijo her first scarf. Ever. She saw me knitting the basket weave scarf and asked if I could make her something. “Of course!” I exclaimed. But I needed yarn. The next day, she had two skeins of Katia Sherpa. It’s pretty thick and I did my best with the size 7’s I had with me, but it was no go. I needed bigger needles. The next day, she brought me size 10’s! And every day, she and the other girls who work there would check on my progress. It was so sweet and funny, they totally need to be knitbloggers. I ended up knitting an entire skein and ripping it out because I stupidly thought the stockinette stitch would lay flat for this special occasion. But I managed to finish it just in the nick of time. I even made a little matching scarf for her sister’s dog, Tina, with a few yards of leftover yarn. I don’t have a good picture of the finished object, but Charlene might, I need to ask her. But here is me in the process of knitting it. Just look at that luscious tan! And you can see that I’m knitting directly off the first scarf as I rip it. It turned out well and Nieve looked really pretty in it. The colors were perfect for her. It has a garter stich edging and was mostly stockinette except for a single cable way off to one side. It still curled a bit, but I didn't ahve time to block it. She didn;t seem to mind.

Since I’ve been back, I haven’t had a whole lot of time to knit. I’ve made some headway on Clapotis and I’m really liking it! I was further inspired by Caryn’s Clap-in-progress, so I’m hoping to finish it in the next few weeks. I was in a knitting-induced trance during the increasing and lost track of the number of pattern repeats I had done. I went a little too far, so it’s wider than it should be. I’m hoping I won’t run out of yarn and plan on making it a little shorter to make up for the extra width. I could get more yarn, but since it’s hand-dyed, who knows what the next skein will look like. We shall see.

My darling sister-in-law also gave me 4 balls of Debbie Bliss Cashmerino, so I’m looking forward to making a soft winter scarf for myself. I know, how many scarves do I need? A LOT! That’s how many.

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!! I almost forgot! I can’t believe I almost forgot! Right before I left, I won! I won! I won Wendy’s Peacock Shawl in the Give a Little contest. Can you stand it? Look at this beauty! And trust me, I’m guarding it with my life. I’m also sending a bunch of patterns to Kim from SanityKnits. She won them in the Give a Little contest!

Whew! That was long! Thanks for hanging in there!

Welp. I’m back.

2005-11-22T12:54:00.000-05:00

I’m back from a fantastic European vacation and I couldn’t be more despondent. I’ve been walking around with the imprint of a keyboard on my forehead all day, not from falling asleep on my laptop, but from banging my head on it. Why am I in an office with fluorescent lighting and a dismal view of rain-soaked highway when I could be frolicking in the sunny countryside of southern Spain, basking in a sweeping landscape that’s dotted with olive trees as far as the eye can see? Granted, it’s very hilly there, and with all that frolicking comes wheezing and gasping for air due to my complete and utter lack of physical fitness. But once freed from the bondage of office life, I’d be a fine specimen, wouldn’t I? Sitting on one’s arse and staring at a computer screen all day does not exactly prepare one for such mysterious wonders like “fresh air” and “strenuous walks”, does it?

But I’ll focus on the positives of being back. It was good to get home after such a long time away. I missed Jon and the cats and everyone at home. It’s always fun to come back from vacation to rediscover the life you left behind for a short while. You know how when you’ve been away, even the most familiar sights seems new and a little different? Yeah. I could have sworn our house had a functional porch and front stairs when I left. And I have no recollection of that bright red sign on the front door that says "DANGEROUS BUIDLING" on it. But it looks like I was mistaken, for this is what we were greeted by upon our homecoming.

Huh. It’s so funny, I don’t remember leaving rubble and a smattering of car parts in our front yard when we headed off to the airport. And I sure as heck don’t recall placing a large clump of our porch’s foundation on top of our Bathtub Mary statue.

Must be the jet lag. Either that or a carload of drunken teenagers in a Lincoln! Yep, it seems that although we live one house away from a stop sign, stopping was not on the agenda. Going fast enough to destroy a cement and stone foundation while 50 feet from a stop sign, now that’s more like it! Here are some photos of the night in question, without the safety drawbridge a contractor had to put up. Note the giant slabs of brick, slate and concrete which have been pushed aside like novelty foam rocks from the souvenir shop at Carlsbad Caverns. Take time to admire the regal columns of the porch as they swing like a couple of loose teeth in a toddler’s gaping maw. We may not have ancient ruins like they do in Spain, but we’ve got perfectly good modern ruins right here at home, thank you very much.

Actually, we were aware that the accident had taken place, so it wasn’t a total shock, but still, there's nothing like coming home and finding your front yarn cordoned off by yellow tape. I had spoken to Jon on the second day of vacation (my birthday, coincidentally), and he told us all about it. Earlier that day, I fell during one of those sunny, hilly walks and gave myself a black eye. My sunglasses hit me in the face on impact with the pavement. But because it was my birthday, the innkeepers gave us all some sparkling wine, and despite the days’ events, it was a great birthday.

I sent you all a postcard, which Melanie was kind enough to post. If you haven’t seen it yet, check it out! Also, take a look at her work-in-progress. It’s one hell of a craft project. Full of demony goodness!

More on the actual vacation later, I just wanted to pop in, say hi and hit you with a little drama to get your attention. In a day or two, I'll give you the more tranquil version of our vacation in Spain and how it's citizens and architecture were affected by the Spanish Inquisition. But it went a little something like this: Halleluiah! WHUMP! SMASH! BOOM! AAAAAARGH!!!

But seriously, I did have a great time and I'll share my photos once I'm done uploading and labeling them.

*I should add that no one was hurt in the great Car vs. House debacle, although our neighbor who happened to be walking up the street had to leap into some bushes to escape being hit and she got scraped up a little.

October 29th

2005-10-29T15:24:00.000-05:00

OK. First of all, it's October 29th. The autumn air should be crisp and clear. I should be hearing the shoosh of leaves beneath my feet as I walk. Kids should be getting ready to go trick or treating and comlaining that they have to wear a light jacket to protect them from the chilly fall weather.

And yet, when I look out my window, I am confronted with this.

Uuuummmm, I re-check the calendar, wondering if I've missed my vacation in November altogether and gone right to Christmas.

Nope. Still October 29th. Huh. Mother Nature sure has a bug up her ass this year, eh? Pull it out, old lady! Pull. It. Out. Boy, oh boy, I sure can't wait for the hailstorm of ants she's been working on. I heard she was thinking about a Fun Fur tornado, too. She loves the novelty yarns.

Second, I have been thoroughly and completely busted by Julie in the comments. I purposely didn't mention it in the previous post. I was repeating the knitters' mantra "No one else will notice, no one else will notice, no one else will notice it . . . ." But I was wrong. The afforepictured basketweave scarf (yep, it is to be a scarf) has a bit of wonk in the lower left corner. I have decided to pretend that it's my "signature" and that I did it with all of my faculties engaged. Otherwise, it would drive me crazy and I would have to put it right into the garbage disposal. Of course, we don't have a garbage disposal, so I'd have to go to the hardware store, buy one, and install it just to get the dark thought of that lower left corner out of my head. So, in order to save me the trouble, it's my knitting signature and that's that. Don't make me send the Feline Home Protection Brigade ofter you. They'll curl up right on you and you'll be pinned for hours.

Lastly, since I'm leaving for a two-week vacation on a redeye flight next Friday, I thought it was time to ask my fellow bloggers if they've been to London and what have they seen. Charlene and I are going to be spending a week in Andalucia, Spain, but it's with a tour, so we'll be pretty well taken care of there. After Spain, we'll be in London for 5 days looking for some fun stuff to do. We'll be there from the 13th through the 17th and we already have plans Monday night. We have 4th row seats to see Ewan McGregor in Guys and Dolls. Woo-hoo!

So if you have any tips (yes, I've been warned about the pick-pocketers, especially in Spain), know of any good shows or concerts going on, need to tell us what to avoid because it sucks, know where all the cheap Rowan yarn is, or have any particular destination in or around London that we should visit, now is the time to cough it up.

We have already decided to go to the V & A. They're having a Diane Arbus show and I loves me some Diane Arbus! So, what else should we do?

And the Winner of the 2005 Squirreled Series is . . . .

2005-10-27T08:38:00.000-05:00

Team Stitchy!!!

And the crowd goes wild! Stitchy was a long shot this year, with many convinced she’d be outwitted by the twitchy little rodent. It’s long been known that her biggest weakness is a furry critter of any kind, and if the first two rounds of the Squirreled Series were any indication of things to come, Stitchy was going to get owned. But in a stunning upset Tuesday night, it was the squirrel’s weakness that was his eventual undoing. As rumors of the squirrel’s taste for peanut butter surfaced, Team Stitchy hatched a cunning plan to exploit this vulnerability. The trap was smeared, sunflower seeds were embedded, and although he had denied his addiction vehemently, the interloper was unable to resist the rich, creamy goodness.

Unfortunately, there is no photographic documentation of the victory as Team Stitchy was actually in the car on the way home from work when the game was won. Team Brother was, however, on the scene and provided a play-by-play recounting of the events. It is reported that the squirrel was on the small side and looked rather scruffy. It is surmised that said scruffiness occurred during the critter’s stay in the basement as he looked fluffy and clean when he leapt out of the ceiling just days ago. Early reports also indicate that the squirrel departed with a belly full of peanut butter and seeds as the food tray was completely clear of residue. Team Stitchy finds the idea of the little squirrel licking up all the peanut butter to be adorable. All parties involved felt badly that it was such a rainy, windy night, but upon his release into the yard, the squirrel headed straight up a nearby tree. No doubt he has already drawn up a crude map and is devising a new plan with a growing squirrel army. Chances are good that he is actually, at this moment, wearing an army General's hat and has taken to using a riding crop for gesticualating powerfully in front of his troops. Luckily, the homestead is reinforced with ten housecats just looking for something to chase.

Here is one team of four cats warming the bench, just waiting for their chance to join the game. Bring it on, twitchy.

*ok, I'll admit it, they don't look like the livliest or killiest bunch. But these babies can go from napping to deadly in seconds. Seriously. You just try and stop them. Sure, it would be better if the squirrel were to position itself directly below one of their paws, but no need. ~ahem~ They'll wake up. Aaaaany minute. Mark my words. You can groom something to death, right? Because once they start that . . . hoo boy, ain't no stopping them. *cough* Y'know, or they may just want to toy with the squirrel for a while. Bat it around, cuddle with it, make it feel comfortable. Then BAM! More . . . cuddling.

Anyhoo.

Here is some knitting. It’s a basketweave pattern from Viv Foster's Knitting Handbook. Nothin’ heavy, just a simple knit/purl thing. But I’m really enjoying watching it come together. For all its simplicity, it looks pretty detailed.

And the back is even cooler! I love when my knitting treats me to little surprises once in a while.

Game Two of the Squirreled Series

2005-10-25T10:27:00.000-05:00

Squirrel - 2
Stitchy - 0

I have now resorted to the big guns. Big peanut butter guns. Big peanut butter guns encrusted with sunflower seeds.

Your move, varmint.

(I fear this may reach Caddyshack proportions before it's all over. I'm looking forward to sculpting the plastic explosives.)

Yes. Shy.

2005-10-23T22:20:00.000-05:00

I love that I have to convince people of that. Yes, she who shares the contents of everything from her uterus to her cats’ litter box with everyone on the internets, is shy. I was once referred to in high school as “That girl who never says anything.” I live in mortal fear of speaking in front of large groups of people. It’s all a sham, people. Stitchy is really a hermit. Luckily, I am a yarn-seeking hermit, so I can actually be drawn out of my shell at times. And it is a lot easier when confronted with a gaggle of giggling knitters.

So Laurie is right. I was rather restrained in my stash enhancement last weekend. I did a pretty good job of sticking to my budget. But I also forgot to include some stuff. Whoopsie. It’s because it was all put away. Out of sight, out of mind – you know how it is. I got a bunch of stuff for needle felting. I got a cool tool that holds six needles at once, five blobs of pretty roving to make an assortment of cuties, and some foam felting boards to keep you from stabbing your legs from FeltCrafts. They were extremely helpful, the woman at the booth actually ran to her car to get some extra needles for me. I shall be patronizing them again. I also got a bag of more felting fluff from Misty Mountain Farms. There are even bits of curly wool in there that should be really interesting to work with.

I don’t have pictures of all that stuff, but I do have a finished object! I made a little Rhinebeck mascot. Of course, right before I finished, I saw that Juno has already found one (see the last photo of the demon sheep of Rhinebeck). Drat! Oh well, I pressed on and came up with this little dude.

Please meet Spendy, the Spokessheep of Rhinebeck.

Spendy says “Baaaaaaaaa more stuff!” He has bendable arms and legs (well, technically, they’re all legs) so he can help point out all the things you need.

You can also see that he’s been hanging out at the fried dough cart for a little too long. Just look at that belly! Our little Spendy does not make good choices when it comes to fair fare. He should have just had that salad. Oh well. “Fraaaaaa more dough!”

And in the comments, Kristy asked about the recipe for the felted bear I made a while ago. I got the instructions and kit from Living Felt. It’s such a gratifying use of fiber, I can’t recommend trying it enough. Now that I think of it, I actually bought the kit from Marr Haven. Both places have lots of cool felting stuff, so check ‘em both out!

And in other news, I have embarked upon the classic battle between woman and beast. No, not Jon. Not the cats. A squirrel. In our basement. When first discovered, he was napping in a box of leftover decorations from my wedding. He came flying out when Charlene walked by and startled him. My brother, unaware of Charlene’s encounter, thought someone had left one of their cats down there because garbage cans were knocked over, bottles from on top of the fridge were smashed on the floor, and there were little footprints all over the toilet seat where someone had perched to get a drink. I believe there were also some little footprints on his laundry that was hanging down there. Later, I was putting away a rake after some long avoided yard work and heard the skittering of tiny paws in the ceiling. So I tapped here and there until I startled him and he came flying out of a hole and ran to the other side of the basement along the pipes. Apparently, this squirrel is wound real tight. He needs to chill. If he would just come out and sit on my shoulder, he would get so many treats and smooches, his head would spin*. But he wants to do this the hard way.

Honestly, I was just worried that he was hungry. But it turns out he also found the birdseed we had down there. So I got a Have-a-Heart trap. It’s all steel and noisy and clanky, so from the squirrel’s standpoint, this is actually a Have-a-Heartattack trap. Jon and I set it up, we even included some treats that we’d just gotten for our own under-documented hamster, Wuzzy. We’ve been checking the trap regularly since yesterday. I moved it closer to his water supply today, though I refuse to admit it was just for his convenience. I checked it a short while ago and it looks like he had himself a lovely snack. But he didn’t hang around for the actual trapping or anything. He did, however, leave a bunch of empty seed shells for me to clean up.

Squirrel 1
Stitchy - 0

*Don't worry, I don't plan on kissing the squirrel when I catch him. He's going right outside.

Rhinebeck (aka - Oh My Aching Paycheck!)

2005-10-19T16:55:00.000-05:00

OK, first off, I just have to say that I had a blast last night! I love impromptu fun and when you get a bunch of knit-bloggers together, you are guaranteed a good time. Which perhaps makes it not so impromptu. Implied impromptu fun, maybe? Anyway, we rocked the house at Willow Books in Acton. So much so that I think we made them really nervous. I was lucky enough to get a seat right up front because I was alone and there were some single spots available. While sitting there waiting for the reading to start, the bookstore owner was talking to one of his employees about the number of people that were in attendance. Apparently he hadn’t expected such a huge turnout and was more than a little gobsmacked. He reminded me of every uptight shopkeeper in every Three Stooges episode. And the woman he was speaking with said “Never underestimate women and what they’ll do!” My head did a quick series of 360 degree spins and came to rest pointing in their direction. My eyes narrowed and turned a strange luminescent green and sparked with small licks of flame. And from a place deep in my belly emanated a low, menacing growl. “Knitters.” I said. “Never underestimate Knitters.” They backed away, stuttering and sputtering and falling over piles of useless, non-knitting-related books.

Ok, that only happened in my head.

Anyhoo, the reading was fantastic and the stories were great. A group of us lingered afterwards and ended up going out for a drink at a nearby restaurant. They seemed as perplexed as the shopkeeper. Must be something in the water. Or a lack of wool in their diets. Something. It’s as though they all possessed knitting needles, but kept them firmly lodged up their posteriors for safe-keeping. In attendance at the after party were CarolesKnitting Carole, BookishGirl Wendy, ObsessionDuJour Kellee, SandysKnitting Sandy, EtherKnitter Laurie, Knitigator Kathy, Stoneview Julie, WoolyBuns Chris, Woolyheaded Ruth (I wish Chris and Ruth were a couple so each could introduce the other as their better half) , MedStudentWhoKnits Kristen, Yarn Harlot Stephanie and a few ladies who’s names I have woefully forgotten. I believe two were Linga Roghaar and Molly Wolf, the creators of the KnitLit books. And there was someone wearing the most fantastic pair of blue socks with purple cables. I failed to introduce myself properly and didn’t get her name. She is now and forever will be in my mind “the woman with those fantastic socks.” And also, there was Non-Blogging Sharon who NEEDS to get a blog. What a great lady! Hop to it, Lady Jane. Now the pressure is on her to either make us happy by joining our fold or disappointing us by not sharing stories of knitting and bees and baby cows in the living room.

So now that I’ve recapped Rhinebeck Redux, let me get to other one. The one with acres of fiber.

Well, I’ll echo what everyone else has been saying. It. Was. Wicked. Fun. Cara’s Blogger Meetup was a thing of beauty. I wish I weren’t so lousy with names because I met loads of great people. I do know that my Bloglines list has gotten quite a bit longer since that fateful day, and it was already honking huge. There were so many people that I started feeling a little overwhelmed. I’m actually a really shy person. I was always the kid hiding her face, sitting alone on the corner, and never saying a word in class. One day I just decided to pretend not to be shy and it usually works pretty well. But man, there were just so many people. I fear if my mother had been there, I may have been clinging to her leg for security. But I think I managed not to say anything stupid, and I did manage to remember most of the people I met, if not by their real names, then by their blog names. I was shocked that so many people knew who I was, even though I didn’t know who they were. There are a lot more knit bloggers than I ever imagined! YAY! So, to everyone I met, it was my extreme pleasure. To everyone I saw who I had already known, it was great to see you. To those I haven’t met yet, look behind you! Boo! Just kidding. Or am I?

OK, on to the fair. Well, how about I just show you what I bought? I’m actually in a bit of a rush and Kellee has taken responsibility for documenting our drive, which required a hand-written map from a guy in a wine store. You see, we were headed to my darling cousin’s house in New Paltz on Friday night to spend the evening. They live past a bridge. The bridge was apparently ok, but the road past it was now a good old fashioned swimming hole. Kellee’s rocket car cannot, apparently, defy gravity. Some rocket car. pffft. So a nice man drew up a map. Kellee has it posted at her place. He went so far as to draw little lines around the streetlights to give the appearance of radiant light. He also made cute sound effects as he drew the blinking light. He got us to Elaine’s without a hitch. We should send that guy a thank you card. I think the store name is on the back of the map. Hang on to that thing, Kellee!

OK, so I didn’t go too nuts because I had already spent a bunch of my money at Webs, but here goes, in order of purchase, even.

Maple Creek Merino/Silk, colorway Crocus. I’m a sucker for green and purple. I can’t help myself. This is ridiculously soft and for all you yarn sniffers out there – it smells really good, too. Not too detergenty, just . . . nice. It does a nostril good. This will become some sort of shawly/scarfy thing. Maybe a Clapotis? It might be too fine. I’ll have to do some research. Mike offered to provide a nice, fluffy background for the photo. Any spinners want to take a try at him?

~sigh~ Here is some Jamie Harmon wool/angora. It’s a 50/50 split and is just gorgeous. I only got one skein for myself and am making a skinny little scarf to wear in the office. I want it near my neck and facial region at all times. It’s soooo soft. I was knitting it at the book reading last night and one of the authors said he kept looking at it while he was reading because he wanted to see what color would come out next. It is a much fondled yarn, deservedly so. I also got a skein in beige/reds/blues/greens for my sister-in-law. I was going to get that one for myself because I wanted to get away from the purple and green thing, but I just couldn’t. Love the purple and green.

Here is a little salt pot from Bell Pottery, who had a booth in the 2-story barn, I think. My cousin in New Paltz has a lot of their pieces, She even has a whole shower tiled with this pattern. It slowly works from day to night as it moves across the shower. Amazing. (Someday, these will
be in my bathroom or kitchen. Oh yes. They will be mine.)

Here is some Potpourri Yarn for my mom. It’s fiber content is “A Little Bit of Everything”. This is a lousy picture, but it’s a very delicate rose and yellow. I hope she likes it. It’ll make a pretty scarf.

Wow, that’s it from the festival, I think. But we did stop at the Morehouse Merino store on the way home and I had to get something for the babies. I got this little sheepskin for the kitties to sleep on (and fight over, I’m sure). Here are Dot and Chi-Chi examining it. Look at how her paws sink right in. Plush, baby!

And here is Dot digging in. I’m curious so see if she sucks on it or not. It still smells sheepy, but in a nice, clean way. And there’s still lanolin in there. Maybe this will curb her need for fiber . . . Time will tell.

Whoops!

2005-10-18T23:22:00.000-05:00

I made a mistake when I said the Creme Brulee was part of Webs' store brand of yarn. In the comments, Johanna said she had been looking for some all over the place, then Lauren asked if Knit One Crochet Too was really Webs own yarn. So I looked it up and Knit One Crochet Too is not actually theirs. They do have their own line, but now I don't know what it's called. Sorry about any confusion!

Does anyone remember what Webs yarn is called?

Stay tuned for pictures of my haul from Rhinebeck. Also, I just got back from seeing the Yarn Harlot at the Willow Bookstore and it was such fun! I met a group of amazing and hilarious ladies and we all for drinky-drinks after Stephanie finished her authorly duties. More on that tomorrow, too.

So Rhinebeck happened.

2005-10-18T14:31:00.000-05:00

And it rocked! I didn’t bring a camera, but there are plenty of photos floating around the internets. Besides, it’s kind of tough to document girlish glee.

My travel mates, Melanie and Kellee were the best. We worked out sort of an unspoken system of parting and regrouping throughout the day. Rather than lingering or rushing, we pretty much moved at our own paces, but managed to come together after just about every yarn barn. It was like a little dance. Cell phones also helped immensely.

We headed out on Friday morning. Kellee drove her little turbo-charged rocket car and it was nice to just be a passenger for a change. When I work in the office (3-4 times a week), I have about an hour drive each way. The upside of this is that the drive to NY seemed to take no time. This was due in large part to my delightful companions, but also because I’m a slave to the Mass Pike and its wanton toll-collecting ways.

We made sure to leave early because we wanted to make a pit stop on the way to the great Empire state. It just so happens that Webs is conveniently located between Point A and Point B, so it would have been inconsiderate of us not to stop by and peruse their offerings. Having never experienced Webs in person, I was anxious to get there. Upon arrival, we headed straight for the bathroom. They have a little sofa in there. I love that. It made me want to sit and knit in the can for a while. This was the first of many bathroom visits. Between Melanie’s wombmates and my thimble-sized bladder, toilet-trekking made up a considerable amount of our weekend activities. Once we checked that off the list of things to do, we roamed Webs’ vast warehouse. My brain had a tough time processing the endless rows of coned yarn at first. It’s a bit much, so I just petted the chenille for a while. But once I got my bearings, it was a feast for the fingertips. There were all kinds of fiber, from scratchy rug wool to smooth-as-silk . . . well, silk. There was even a shelf of coned tinsel in an array of Barbie doll colors. For a moment, I wondered if a tinsel afghan would be a reasonable project to embark upon, and then I thought of Dot wandering around with a two-foot-long metallic rainbow trailing behind her. Although the other cats would probably enjoy their new living cat toy immensely, I thought better of it and eventually settled on this collection of goodies:

The cone is some sort of cotton/poly ribbons stuff that I’m going to use for Nuthin’ but a T-shirt. I also got some of Web’s house brand superwash called Crème Brulee. I got enough for some kind of sweater, but I don’t know which yet. I also couldn’t pass up the super-soft Berrocco Pleasure that was on close-out. I would have if they hadn’t provided a knitted sample to lure me in. I got enough for a scarf and I just need to find a pattern for something knit on a diagonal. That’s what they had knit for the sample and it was very plain, but quite fetching. And sort of French, in a way.

I also found some squatters living among this year’s selection of knitting magazines. These little stowaways were huddled in the corner together, no doubt doing their best to go unnoticed. But my eyes are trained to catch even the slightest hint of an outdated hairdo or the twinkle of a clown’s glittering nose. So I plucked these survivors of the Great Pattern Purge of Nineteen and Ninety-Two from their hidey-holes and took them home where they could be mocked (and MOKSed) properly.

We also had the pleasure of meeting two fellow knit bloggers who were slaving away behind the cash registers. Imagine, we hadn’t even hit Rhinebeck yet, and already the bloggers were springing up! They were sweet as pie (like strawberry rhubarb or chocolate cream, not some nasty mincemeat) and wrapped up our shopping spree just perfectly. One was the SPARKnits, who immediately appreciated those knitting magazines for their unapologetic awfulness. The other gal recognized Melanie’s sweater as a Rogue as soon as we walked in, which I thought was so cool. Of course, I can’t for the life of me remember her blog name. I do know it’s on LiveJournal, but she’s making the switch to Blogspot soon. Damn. If you’re her and you read this, can you put your blog name in the comments? Pleeease?

Once we had spent a good portion of our yarn budgets before even leaving the state, we pressed on and headed for the promised land of Sheep and Wool.

Stay tuned! I will continue tomorrow and give you the scoop on the rest of the weekend, washed-out bridges and all!

Oh, I'm also going to do my darndest to make it here tonight. Anyone else?

I'b Sick

2005-10-11T12:05:00.000-05:00

I’b totally sick today. By nose is all stuffed ub, and yet it’s running like a faucet. Gross. It’s so stuffy that I can only breath through by bouth, so by borning iced coffee was a real treat. I was afraid that while I was drinking through the straw I would create a vacuum and imblode, bossibly sucking by head right into the straw! Lucky for be and cars near be, this was not the case. But I did try to swallow with by bouth oben, just id case.

~~haa-chooo~~

****sssnnnsnnnnnnngggghghghhhhhhhh*****

Excuse be.

But I refuse to be sick for Rhinebeck. Even if I am, I’b still going. Hobefully Kellee and Belanie won’t mind all by sniffling. Ban, this sucks! I feel like I’ve got a whole cat stuffed in by sinuses! I was hoping by allergy medicine would helb, but it hasn’t. At least there’s Nyquil – sweet nectar of the sick. And Buffs Blus tissues! Those are the best. Jon has this cold, too, so we ran out of Buffs Blus and have resorted to toilet baber. It’s not a bretty scene at Chez Yarnbants.

I think I’b gonna need a thicker sweater for this weekend. Babybe I'll make one of these babies. I still have time! At least you'd be able to find be. Just follow the bointing and laughing.

I could stuff the sleeves with all the yarn I buy! (is it just be, or does this look just like Heather Graham?)

I could totally half-ass the sleeves AND hood and end ub looking like a frightened turtle wearing beach-colored wrist gauntlets.

Or I could just boke a hole in an afghan and call it a freaking day.

These Little Piggies Live Large

2005-10-09T21:57:00.000-05:00

Today I have shoe porn for you. Charlene and I are going to Spain early in November (more about that in the coming days), and I needed some good shoes to traverse the narrow streets of Seville.

No, wait, wrong Seville. I meant this one. The one littered with frilly Flamenco dancers.

I also needed some to stroll in the rolling farmlands surrounding our pension in Andalucia.

Sometimes when I look at that picture, I think I’m just going to pass out from sighing so much. I mean, should anything be allowed to look so peaceful and welcoming? ~sssiiiiigggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~

*thud*

Whoops! There I went. OK, enough fooling around. I’ll write all about the trip soon. But for now, let’s get to the good stuff. New shoes. I’ve finally decided that I’m done spending smaller amounts of money more often on cheap, crappy shoes that fall apart after the first couple of weeks. I will never again slip my feet into what smells like a pair of day-old carcasses. And no. More. Blisters. EVER!!!! Nope, I’m going to spend that money on fewer pairs of well made shoes that will last longer and provide more support than a couple of empty Kleenex boxes.

And so I started this magical shoe odyssey with Dansko, the mother of all comfortable shoes. I give you – Folly. This photo isn’t all that great, you can see them a lot better on their website. One of the things I love about Dansko is that they come right out and call it a bowling show. A lot of companies would shy away from this comparison. I happen to love the look of bowling shoes, which is why I picked them out immediately. These babies are right up my alley. har har.

And then I stumbled upon the NAOT display. Wow. Comfortable, practical, and most of all, adorable. May I introduce Camila. These are like hugs for your feet from the second you put them on. They have a removable cork insole that molds to your feet. When it wears down, you can just get a new one. Amazing! I love the little pattern on them, and it’s highlighted with a bit of stitching for extra fancy goodness. I really liked them in brown, they look great with jeans. But I also wanted to wear them with a skirt, and as stupid as it sounds, I don’t know how to wear brown shoes with skirts. Since I can’t pack too many shoes for our trip, I needed a shoe that could be casual or a bit dressier, so I had to order them in black. And yet – the brown were so pretty. So they came home with me, too.

I dare say that these are the types of shoes I’m likely to have cobbled. What a concept, shoes worth repairing. Hot damn! I’m going to take them for a test run at Rhinebeck. Give ‘em a little work out to break them in.

But the day of decadence didn’t stop there. I also happened to be in Porter Square, so I popped into Mind’s Eye yarn shop and nabbed a little treat for myself. I got three balls of Marks and Katten “Dream”. It’s got just a pinch of angora, hopefully not enough to make my nose twitchy, but just enough to make me want to pet my future scarf all day. I set up a little threesome to show just how hedonistic I was feeling after buying such lovely things for myself.

And then Mike got bored with the shoes and the yarn, so he brought his toy to the door and said “Heeeeere’s Mikey!” in a very sinister way. He also claimed that all work and no play makes Mike a dull boy, so I decided it was best to do as he said.

FOs in da house!

2005-10-08T21:41:00.000-05:00

Man is that a cute baby!

Anyway, I have a couple of finished objects! ~gasp~

I finished Maxx’s sweater and he looks very dashing in it. He loves wearing little outfits and does a good job of lifting his front legs to help put them on. He’s a good guy, that Maxxie. I recently discovered that he spells his name with two “x”s and I think it makes him even more of a stud. I learned of this odd spelling in a most peculiar way. Maxx’s owner is a dear friend named Ronnie. Ronnie’s mom was an amazing woman who passed away last week after a long battle with lymphoma. It was impossible not to love Carolyn. And she loved Maxx to smithereens, often taking him with her and her husband on weekend getaways to their vacation house. Carolyn left strict instructions to have a bouquet of peach roses from Ronnie's and his sister’s dogs and cats placed at the head of her casket. When we went to pay our respects to her at the wake, there was a lovely bouquet from Oliver, Felix, Maxx, and Miss Kitty right beside her. It’s always such a great relief when someone can provide you with a smile at such a solemn occasion, and when it’s the guest of honor that’s providing that smile, it’s even better. It was such a perfect testament to the kind of lady she was.

I managed to get the sweater knit just in time for her to see it, though I hadn’t gotten the buttons on it yet. Knitting this was a major stress reliever, I did it all on the day before seeing Carolyn for the last time. We all knew it was going to be the last time and I didn’t know what else to do with myself, so I made a tiny sweater for her grandpup. I’m glad Ronnie doesn’t have a Great Dane!

So here is Carolyn's special little guy in his brand new sweater. The buttons don't hold it closed, they're just decorative. And I could have sworn I sewed them on straight. Maybe the sweater is just a little twisted from being on a wiggly dog body.

It has a pocket on the back so he can carry his favorite toy or maybe a few extra bucks for some Snausages in case he gets hankering during his walk.

Wow, I didn’t realize how much that sweater meant to me until just now.

And here is another thing I’ve finished as a thank you to someone who’s helped me out tremendously recently. There’s just something about being able to make a handmade gift for someone. So much gets poured into it that it feels much more real than buying a gift. I’m really happy with the way this turned out. I forgot to take a picture of the inside, but I lined it and attached an old-fashioned label from Charm Labels that said “From the needles of Stitchy McYarnpants” inside. I also attached metal grommets to the inside of the lining. I did this mainly because the grommets wouldn’t fit over the felted fabric, but I think they might have ruined the look of the bag if they had been on the outside. Don’t ever let anyone tell you to just “pop in some grommets, it’s easy!” It ain't. Not by a longshot. I ended up tossing the stupid little grommeting tool off to the side and just smashed the crap out of each one with a hammer. Turns out it was the only way to get them to attach themselves. Sure, they got all banged up and dented, but it looks more homemade that way. Yeah, that’s it. Dented = Fine Handmade Quality.

Hooray for finished objects! Hooray for heartfelt offerings of yarny goodness! Hooray for cute doggies! Hooray for smashing crap with hammers! Hooray!

Obey the Baby

2005-10-07T15:09:00.000-05:00

OK, in perusing magazines for MOKS fodder, I ran across what very well may be the cutest baby ever. Don't you just want to squeeze him? He looks like a little Purdue Chicken. I can't stand it.

It saddens me a little to think that this baby is now in his late 40's. Or maybe he's a magical eterna-baby who never grew up. Yeah. I'm going to assume that's the case. He's to cute to have a second mortgage and a boring job that he hates.

No spam on me!

2005-10-06T17:08:00.000-05:00

The knitting masses say Word Verification, and Word Verification it shall be. Thank you, gentle readers. And spam you, spamsuckers! Blow it out yer spamhole! (This may be my favorite new way of swearing.) I love the idea of typing in a word to prove you’re human. I feel that my existence in validated every time I do it. Typing “Ve6t8soK” means I’m me! I just hope that I haven’t offended any artificial life forms. If any of you are artificial life forms, I apologize, but I just can’t take the chance that you won’t turn out to be a spambot. Sorry.

I’m so glad you guys enjoyed the Opacity link. It’s nice to know there are so many admirers of old out there. AND, my sister-in-law, Becky, says she lives near Bannerman’s Island, which is one of the places the guy at Opacity explored. CooOOOool! Road trip!

So I’ve decided on my own personal Rhinebeck sweater. It’s the SnB Under the Hoodie sweater. I have all the pieces knit, now I just need to do a little Dr. Frankenstein magic on it. Stitch it up, bring it to life and voila. If I could only remember where I stored those pieces lo those many months ago.

I’m really looking forward to Rhinebeck this year. I went last year and had a great time. Now that I know more people, it’ll be even more fun! Last year, Jon came with me. What a trooper. He said the only way he’d come this year is if he could host a booth with vibrating Lay-z-Boy chairs, video games and a beer keg for all the yarn widowers who were dragged to the fair unwittingly. (one can only assume that at least some of the guys there thought they were going to a rifle range or an outdoor comic book convention) He even wants to put up a dart board with a luscious skein of alpaca as the bull’s eye. He will not be joining us. I’m heading over with my sistergirls Kellee and Melanie (and Melanie’s lil’ knitters-to-be). My mother-in-law and sister-in-law live up that way as well, so I need to see if they can make it. (Becky, I know you read this blog, so whaddaya say? Up for some gratuitous yarn porn?) My mother-in-law came last year and reacquainted herself with lure of the stash. She hadn’t knit in a long time, but since going, she has returned to her yarny ways.

I wish there were a blogger booth or something. It would be great to be able to sign in and out with arrival and departure times. Then you could see who was around at that time. It would be like a living scavenger hunt trying to pick out all the bloggers in da hizzy! Maybe we could do Blogger Bingo and whoever fills up their card first wins! Oooooh, someone needs to do this! As it is, we’ll all be able to sign a living autograph book so she’ll be easy to pick out.

Now, I’m going to research that insulation as FiberFetish suggests. With a name like that, how can she possibly be wrong?? And Leisel left a helpful comment about decorating. She suggests finding a piece of fabric or artwork and decorate based on that. That makes sense. Can I base an entire house on the contents of my stash? Hmmmm . . . (by the way, check out her blog, she has a hilarious button about Fun Fur as it relates to the flesh of Cookie Monster. Good one!) You commenters are awesome! I know I’m terrible about responding to comments, but just know that I appreciate everyone’s feedback. I feel the love! Mwah! Perhaps part of the turning of my new bloggy leaf is being better about addressing comments. Tell me, is it considered good blog etiquette to do it in the comments section?

Snaaaakes!

2005-10-05T17:36:00.000-05:00

So what the hell kind of jerk spends all sorts of time spamming blogs just to get theirs noticed? And while doing it, they pretend to compliment the bespammed by saying “Hey nice blog ya’ got here! Come check mine out!” It may work once, but geez Louise, 40 or 50 times? Screw you, spammy! So what’s a blogger to do? I know I’ve heard other people mention this happening, so how do you stop it if the spamholes have Blogger accounts? Lousy motherspammers.

Anyhoo. Have you ever seen Pee Wee’s Big Adventure? You know the scene where he runs into the burning pet shop to save the animals, and every time he goes by the snake tank, he makes a face and moves on to something cuter and fuzzier? Eventually, everything cute and fuzzy has been rescued, so he has no choice but to save the snakes. Moments later, he runs out of the shop screaming, arms flailing, his hands full of snakes, then he just passes out.

Yeah. I’ve been feeling a lot like that lately. I hate being a grown up and having to make decisions and junk and stuff.

Carlos the Electrician is finally done (yes, that Carlos and that electrical work). He came a couple of times a week on average and I didn’t act as his assistant most days, so it took for-freaking-ever. And now we need to decide what the next step is – do we look into having insulation blown into the ceiling while the ceilings are all messed up? I have no idea how much it costs, but I’m guessing it’s hella expensive. And then we have to patch all the holes. Honestly, there are probably at least 50 places that need patching. I haven’t counted, but we had work done in every single room in the house. Do we do it ourselves over time, making mess after mess every weekend for the rest of our lives? Or do we spend more money to have it done in one or two weekends? Then we have to paint the walls in every room. In most places, this means removing wallpaper. And neither Jon nor I are any good at decorating, we still have milk crates everywhere, fer chrissakes! So I have no idea what colors to choose or anything. Oh my heavens, what a mess.

I suspect we’ll just cover the holes with plastic “for the winter” and never speak of it again. It will be our silent pact to just pretend we don’t live in a wooden box with holes poked in it. Egads, we’re living like a couple of tree frogs captured by an 8-year-old!

Another snake in my craw, unfortunately, is my blog. I keep wanting to post, but I just never have time to write anything good, so I just put it off until a later than never seems to come. I’ve gotten out of the habit and its bugging me. So I hereby declare that I will write something every day until I leave for Rhinebeck. It may not contain pictures and it may not be brilliant, but I’ve got to get back in the habit of blogging. So there you go. Instead of a vow of silence, I’m taking a vow of daily rambling. And if I don’t do it, you can feel free to mock me, berate me, even spam the bejesus out of me with links to blogs about David Hasselhoff. As Dot is my witness, I shall blog again!

And since I have no pictures today, either, I will leave you with a link that is probably not everyone’s cup of tea. But if you like spooky, abandoned buildings – particularly asylums, than have I got a link for you. This guy is a great photographer and even has pictures of a building that Charlene and I have a dangerous crush on. Yes, we have a crush on an old insane asylum, so what?! It’s in Danvers, MA. If you drive up Rt 1 north, past all the strip malls and whatnot, you can see its spires peeking out above the trees on the left. The best time to see it is in the winter when the leaves are off the trees. They’re going to be replacing it with condos very soon. I don’t know how much demolition they’re going to do, but they will be some and it’s a shame to loose such an amazing piece of architecture. You can’t drive up to it, there’s pretty tight security, but it’s worth a drive by just to see the peaks of the buildings. It gives me shivers just to look at it. I don’t know if I believe in ghosts and hauntings and wayward spirits, but if such things existed, this place would be crammed to the gills with them. It even starred in a movie called Session 9, which I loved.

So take a peek Opacity, not only at Danvers State Hospital, but of the other urban ruins he’s explored. They’re truly beautiful and creepy and sad and stunning.

New and Improved Post: Now With Actual Knitting Content!

2005-09-19T18:42:00.000-05:00

First, I have to tell you that the cat in the last MOKS, the one swaddled in baby bunting, the one who is planning a most gruesome end for his shoulder-padded mistress – he’s not photo-shopped. A few commenters wondered if he was, and I’m here to tell you that the poor lil’ pussycat is stuffed into that baby bunting for real. Sad. Inexplicable. Deliciously awful.

Second, thanks to Jessica who left this link in the comments . I’m delighted but mostly embarrassed to tell you that I am working on a guinea pig outfit for my friend Peter’s g-pig, Eve. I knitted up a lacy swatch using light blue Geisha from the nether regions of my stash. I also did a non-lacy one in Berroco Suede. He decided that Eve was more of a tomboy . . . er . . . tompig? . . . so he felt she’d be less self-conscious in the suede. So I’m designing a little western vest for dear, sweet little Eve. She has black fur and will look very comely in her new outfit. It’s going to be fairly simple at the top, done in tan with some YO “cutouts” near the bottom. There will be a small, hot pink border and some pink fringe. Franklin, Peter’s other g-pig will be very jealous and I’m sure we’ll have to accommodate him somehow.

Third – lookie what I made over the weekend!

It’s a dog sweater for my friend Ronnie’s rat terrier, Max. It even has a pocket so he can carry his stuff around. Currently, his favorite toy is Zero from The Nightmare Before Christmas. Zero fits into the pocket perfectly. We had a fitting and it worked out really well. The pattern is from Patons “Another Dog’s Life” (and yes, I do intend to make the Dogasaurus Rex on the cover. Oh yes.) The instructions originally didn’t have me add the green button band between the leg holes. Now, I don’t know what the hell kind of dogs they’ve got up in Paton’s country, but Max isn’t some circus sideshow freak with his front legs two inches apart. Sheesh! So I added the button band to get a perfect fit. I’ll just weave front shut and I’m going to add some old-fashioned wooden barrel buttons to give it a rustic look. I used maybe a little more than one skein of blue Wool Ease for the body and half a skein of the green for the edging and pocket. Surprisingly, Max took a size Medium. I’ll get photos of him in it as soon as possible!

Dot remains unimpressed. (I wish I could spend my day taking tongue baths in the laundry basket, but the NutroMax doesn't pay for itself, now does it?) Apparently her toes are far more interesting than my sudden need to rid the world of animal nudity.

Well, we’ve seen just about enough of all eight of her nipples around our house. She and Chloe are getting Koigu tubes top, whether they like it or not. And although they’ve both been neutered, Chi-Chi and Mike could each do with a pair of cashmerino underwear.

*Darn! The Guinea Pig dress link doesn't seem to be working right now. Maybe it will come back. Just know that if you Google "Guinea Pig Dress", oh my lord in heaven, you will get the most fantastic "accidental" link I've ever seen. It's to a site called Roadfood.com (no, it's not all recipes for roadkill as I was hoping), and the preview of the match goes like this:

"My grandmother could take a guinea pig, dress it, rub it with spice and oil, and bake it in a slow oven until it tasted just as good as the finest muskrat".

Fan-friggin-tastic. Is Google not the coolest thing ever? How did we ever live without it?

Weather Woes

2005-08-31T17:07:00.000-05:00

Well, there’s not much more to say about the mess Katrina has made than has already been said. Good vibes, best wishes, warm thoughts, all of that goes out to everyone suffering. But the best thing you can send is money. Because there are no resources to store or distribute donations of food, clothing, or even lovingly knitted blankets, people are urged to send moulah. Cold hard cash. Greenbacks. It’s all about the Benjamins, baby.

Let’s show them the money, people!

And if you're so inclined, help some furry critters out, too.

Pretend you’re going to make a gorgeous, luxurious blanket, hat, or scarf to comfort someone who has been affected. Now, save yourself a bunch of time and just send the money you would have spent on the yarn. Then throw in a little more for a pair of matching slippers.

The Museum of Kitschy Stitches, Vol. VII - Living in the Eighties

2005-08-30T00:14:00.000-05:00

This feature has moved! Click here to go to it's new location.

A recent recording from 911 dispatch . . .

2005-08-26T11:47:00.000-05:00

Hello, Police?

Yes, I’d like to report an assault.

Yes, that’s right. On my senses! We aren't even safe in our own Inboxes anymore!! Send the fashion squad immediately. Bring a tranquilizer gun and some matches!

Don't forget the unicorns this time!

2005-08-26T09:51:00.000-05:00

Looks like Melanie’s list of things to knit (and buy and feed and fawn over) is going to take on a decidedly Noah’s Ark-ish tone in the coming months. Two of everything.

Congratulations, pumpkin!!!

Now I’m off to hoard clearance-priced Cotton Ease so I can get in on this action . . .

Two of these, coming right up!

Don't worry Melanie, I'm just kidding. I would never do that to you. :)

. . .and now, a special message from Stitchy

2005-08-22T08:32:00.000-05:00

I just thought you should know.

And as we begin our long, potentially annoying week, let’s all take a moment to thank our lucky stars that our choice is no longer limited to “mammoth-sized” or the sleek new “is that a pony in your pants or are you having your period?". Observe how neatly they fold up. It's almost as easy as folding a phone book! Sisters, I think we can all agree that those dark times were MaxiBad.

Now let's all put on some white pants and go horseback riding. Whaddaya say? Who's with me?

Houston, We Have a Sweater

2005-08-18T17:19:00.000-05:00

Ze Scoop, she is done! Hazah! Please ignore the fat-headed picture. It was the best of the lot and we were out of paper bags.

A few facts about our little Scoopie:

She was lovingly handcrafted from 6 skeins of TLC Cotton Plus in Kiwi. The pattern was written for Cotton Ease and the gauge in Cotton Plus was off a little, so I went up a needle size. Her bust size is 40” (ooh la la) and her measurements are just as the pattern says they should be. She likes puppies and long walks in the rain, mainly because she’s machine washable. Scoopie is currently not attached because she has no buttons, but hopefully that will change soon, if the right buttons come along. She’s looking for a little glamour, some sizzle to brighten up her days and nights.

Here’s another, more jarring look at da Scoop. I forgot to put it away after I measured it and it was instantly descended upon. No worries, I rescued it before Dot got her choppers on it. But check out that biscuit action shot!

Last Saturday, I attended a fantastic yarn dyeing party hosted by the delightful Julia at Moth Heaven (trust me, it is a name well deserved. Her stash room is the stuff that moth folklore is made of.). After initial alarm at hearing that I was going to Julia’s to dye and thinking he’d have to take care of the cats on his own from now on, Jon asked if we were going to buy anything. I tried to explain that just because we were going out on a yarn-related adventure, it didn’t mean that we were going to be making any purchases. Knitters can actually have an afternoon where they don’t buy anything at all. And then Kellee ended buying a drum carder from another knitter (I can’t remember who), so I stand corrected. I guess we can’t have those kinds of days.

Also, I got a special treat from Teresa at Knitting the Blues (who was wearing the tank top that I have so admired.) She was trying to de-stash and I got this pretty cotton chenille in “Stone”. I’m not sure what I’m going to make, but it’s going to be soft and it’s going to be pretty, dammit! Thank you, Teresa!! It was great to meet you and help myself to your yarn. Here is Chloe, modeling the yarn. She’s a nice shade of Ginger Sand. It goes well with Stone, doesn’t it?

And here is the yarn I dyed. It was kindly donated to me by Kellee because I just couldn’t get it together enough to get my own. Its KnitPicks previously undyed sock yarn. Hmmm, there’s a theme here of people handing things over to me. I like it. Knitters are wonderful, as it turns out. And for that, I’m very thankful.

The top one is hopefully going to stripe in purple and green with little pink dots here and there. Hopefully. Maybe. Who knows. The other one is sort of randomly splotched with color.

You can see that one side of the skein is entirely different that the other when you peek inside. This could prove to be totally heinous, but again, we’ll see. I am officially motivated to make some socks now. Does anyone have a favorite, easy pattern for sock virgins? * filthy innuendos deleted *

And to continue in the I’m-too-lazy-to-do-it-myself, I got a new winter coat yesterday! Charlene went shopping and couldn’t decide between two coats, so she bought both and just figured I’d want whichever one she decided against. She was absotootely correct! Its wool, has big buttons, and is very smarly tailored. It’s an actual flattering, girly coat. A far cry from my usual shapeless lump of a winter coat. I tried to get a picture, but black wool is kind of hard to capture. Just trust me on this one.

Plus . . . .

It’s a J-Lo. Because, you know, I’m still Stitchy from the block. You have to love a line of fashion clothing that has a category called “Dresses & Jumpsuits”. I can only imagine how I would look in a JLo jumpsuit. The mind reels. Then wretches. Then throws up a little.

Got pants?

2005-08-02T12:11:00.000-05:00

OK, which one of you found my blog using the keywords "women taking off pants"? C'mon, fess up. Don't be such a bum. I won't get my panties in a bunch, I swear.

No one?

Party pooper.

(Any and all puns about buns welcome at this point. Go ahead, make my day.)

The Scoop on the Scoop.

2005-08-01T13:16:00.000-05:00

I totally cheated. I did. I’m a hack knitter, but I’m cool with that. I prefer think of myself as a MacGyver knitter, actually. I use the tools and methods that suit me best. While I haven’t had to resort to gum or paper clips, I did wantonly misuse a woven seam stitch. It was all Melanie’s idea!

See, I was adding the button and neck bands to my little lovely. (my little color-changing lovely, if these pictures are to be believed. It's amazing the difference a flash makes. I think the close-ups below are a more accurate representation, but I'm not even sure because the color is so different between my home PC and my work laptop. Hell, maybe the sweater is actually a deep shade of aubergine.)

I had to pick up stitches to add them. No problem, I can do that. I even had the great and powerful Disembodied Voice of Knitting to guide me. Kids’ stuff, cakewalk, pish tosh, easy peasy. T’weren’t nuthin’.

Uuuuhhhh . . . until I got to the decreased section of the neck. I just kind of kept on doing what I was doing and ended up with some holes. Well, let’s call it additional texture. Or maybe unintentional lacework. Or cotton/acrylic heartache. Whichever you please.

So I showed it to Jon and he was just plum out of ideas on how to fix it. I may as well have asked the hamster, I think I would have gotten the same hollow stare in response. I gave him a treat and looked for help from a more interested party. The coffee table had nothing for me either.

So I took it with me to Melanie’s on Friday night. I figured she’d have some practical advice considering she actually assembles her sweaters when she’s done knitting them. And of course, she did. She suggested I cover the unsightly holes using the woven seam stitch that I was using to sew the sweater together. Brilliant! So I did the weaving thing. It’s similar to the Mattress stitch, but it ends up imitating a row of stitches. You weave the needle under the "V"s of each stitch, alternating from one piece to the other for each stitch. It looks a lot like this. I couldn't find the exact method online, it changes depending on whether you're seaming row-to-row or stitch-to-stitch or stitch-to-row. I got it from Nancie Wiseman’s Finishing Techniques . This is the second sweater I’ve seamed using this book and it’s not too bad. The seams are a little thick inside the sweater, but I don’t think it’ll bee too lumpy. I need way more practice.

So whaddaya think? I’m pretty happy with it. I’m not a perfectionist, so I don’t mind a little wonk in my handmade stuff.

Melanie also hooked me up to her spinning wheel under the careful watch of her husband. (He told me when I needed to move the yarn down the spool. He’s adorable AND helpful!) I spun up some truly craptacular yarn. It was lumpy and fuzzy in some places and microscopically thin in others. But I can see how, once you get your groove on, spinning can be addictive. I just don't think I'm ready for one yet. I can't stop imagining a cat’s arm getting snapped off in the whirling wheel. I guess they’d learn after losing a couple, right?

And speaking of dismembered animals, we had a BBQ yesterday! Mmmmmmm . . . dismembered animalssss . . .

We fried a 16lb turkey in less than an hour! It was crispy, moist and de-freaking-licious. If you’re a vegetarian, look away. If not, feast your eyes on this tasty bastard. It looks burnt, but that's just the savory, crunchy shell. Like a big meat M&M.

And here are Dot and Mike enjoying their share of the catch. For some reason, Chi-Chi and Chloe didn’t want any. Perhaps they were waiting for the leftover steak. Well, they’d have to fight Charlene’s stack of cats for that. Good luck to ‘em.

And speaking of Chi-Chi.

Lately he’s been making tons of noise in the middle of the night. You know that incessant meowing that gets louder and more frenzied as it goes? meow. Meow. Meow. MEOW! MEOWMEOWMEOW!!! It sounds like he’s stuck in a closet or fighting ninjas or something. So the other night, Jon got up to see if everything was ok. He found Chi-Chi sitting there, staring at this.

The Sparkle Ball. It's his favorite toy, and yet it makes him scream. Since then, we’ve both seen him yowling with the ball actually in his mouth. Ummmm. What the hell? Does he like it? Hate it? Does it scare him? Please him to no end? Does it tickle? Does he think it’s a creature? Is it covered in LSD? What?!

Oh! By the way, thanks for all the commiserating on what is now dubbed "The Plaster Disaster". Carlos and I slaved for 4 days and we finished . . . wait for it . . . 4 rooms! Gah. Only 8 rooms to go. We'll probably get back to it later this week. I am happy to report that the Red Heart was used in a number of ways. We attached metal fittings to it to add weight and used it as a plumb line to go straight into the wall. This helped to get from one hole to another a few times. I also used it to tie the cats into the living room so they'd be out of the way. The door doesn't shut properly, so the yarn was their captor. (Don't worry, they had all the air conditioning while we lowly humans sweated buckets.) In the end, I'll be delighted we rewired, but I'm still allowed to grouse about it while the house is in dusty pieces.

Post Du Jour

2005-07-17T15:47:00.000-05:00

Looky! It’s practically a sweater! A Scoop du Jour, to be exact. Once it’s dry, I need to add the button bands and a neck band. I’m really looking forward to picking out buttons. It’s a fun, simple knit and if I like it as much as I think I will I’m going too make one in black. The color in this picture isn’t very accurate. It’s a much lighter, prettier green. Now that I look at it, this Khaki-ish color isn’t bad. Maybe I need another one. After the black one.

See that empty tomato pin cushion? That little guy was fully studded when I started. Word to the wise, get more that 100 pins. I thought I was overdoing it with the 100-pack, but I ran out after the second sleeve. More. Pins.

I also finally got around to felting my purple bag and flower. Here’s a look into the briny deep of the Maytag Ocean. It looks like ethereal sea creatures playing in the Great Agitator Reef, doesn’t it?

They didn’t felt as much as I had hoped, but I still really like them. The rose wasn’t made for the bag, but I think it’s kind of cute on there. I was planning on making a whole bunch of flowers and now that I see it felted, I have a few ideas about what to do with them.

We at Chez Stitchy are also in the midst of a full-blown electrical drama. Those of you who own an old house can commiserate with me on this one. Crumbly is a word that should be used to describe the topping on a coffee cake or ancient ruins in Greece. It should not be an appropriate descriptor of electrical wiring. And yet, at our house, it is a sad and scary fact that our “vintage” knob and tube wiring is crumbling quicker that me at a good sale on mohair. No good can come of it.

On Friday, our house decided that it didn’t want to have electricity in the front rooms any more. It mumbled something about air conditioners, then just gave up on Thomas Edison’s wacky idea. Luckily, we have an electrician named Carlos that we love. He works with my brother, who is a carpenter, on a lot of different projects. Carlos is very reasonably priced. The reason is that when he's working on your house, you are automatically deputized as his assistant. If he needs something, you get it. Whether it’s from the kitchen, the basement, or Home Depot, you’re getting it. He was installing a new circuit breaker panel thingy (I’ve learned a lot of technical terms since Saturday) and needed something to hold some wires up so they wouldn’t fall back into the wall. “Do you have any string or anything?” he asked. Jon paused thoughtfully, trying to think of something string-like in our house. He was stumped. Dude, string is what we have the MOST of! I immediately ran and fetched the Red Heart. Jon doubted that it would be what he needed, but he underestimated the power of acrylic. It was just what the electrician ordered.

Here is a close-up of the Red Heart hard at work. I hope my yarn doesn’t try to unionize, I can’t afford healthcare for alpaca.

At one point, Carlos got into the crawlspace between our ceiling and the roof. It was a million degrees and I can’t believe he got in. I also can’t believe he got out. Watching him extricate himself backwards and searching with his feet for the rickety wooden ladder was too much to bear. It was like our ceiling was having a breech birth. Luckily, we moved on to Plan B right away.

Here’s a peek at the space. You can see the old knob and tube wiring in the back. Not a whole lot of room. I couldn’t stop imagining Carlos passing out from the heat and us trying to drag him out.

I’m glad we switched to Plan B because it went pretty well. It involved snaking a line through the ceiling from the front of the house to the back – about 50 feet, I think. Here’s Jon pulling the line back with the electrical wire attached. It was quite a feat. He was making all kinds of “working hard” faces, but kept turning away when I tried to take a picture.

Here are Jon’s thoughts about the day of hard work done in a meduim of plaster and laminate tabletop.

At the end of the day, the yarn’s work was done.

But our was not. Not nearly. We are nowhere near even remotely finished. We're basically rewiring the entire apartment (10 rooms if you include the porch, which I totally forgot to include yesterday). This is a huge effort. A major home renovation that we embarked on with a day’s notice and not much of a choice. It’s either this or no power in half the house and a blazing fire in the other from all the extension cords. It would be overwhelming if I would allow myself to fathom it, but so far, I just look at it as a little quality time with Carlos. But really, it entails about 8 holes in the walls and ceiling of each room (sometimes more if the snake can’t get through). I refuse to multiply the number of rooms by the average number of holes. I’m just not doing it. Carlos is coming back on Monday, Jon will be at work, so we can’t tag-team our assistant responsibilities. It’s all me. And I know it won’t be done on Monday. What have we gotten ourselves into? But I guess that’s the life you choose when you own an old home full of charm and original detail, like disintegrating cloth-covered wires. (I like to pretend that we own the house, even though I know it’s the other way around.)

Here is a sample of our new holes. Pretty, huh? Now image a house made mostly of these things. And the plaster pouring out of each one.

Oh my freakin’ head.

It's me again.

2005-07-07T11:47:00.000-05:00

Wow. Thanks you all so much for the kind (and often hilarious) comments in response to my last posting. I knew it would strike a cord and I knew lots of women have had similar experiences and I had a feeling I’d get reports on the personal preferences of your own fibroids. But still, I’m amazed and touched. It took me a few days to decide whether to post about the miscarriage and the twittering fibroids, but after seeking counsel with Melanie, I went for it. I’m glad I did. I’ve experienced something that is so common, yet rarely discussed and even if we react differently, there’s a measure of understanding that is very comforting. It’s almost unspoken. Beneath the warm wishes and commiseration, there’s a small sigh that carries with it a lot of different emotions. It’s hard to describe, but I’ve never felt more like a woman. I usually think of myself as a “gal” or a “chick”, but a miscarriage is purely a woman’s issue. And dealing with fibroids and fertility has forced me to confront the essence of my womanhood. I know that sounds really Lifetime Networky (quick, someone call Meredith Baxter Birney – stat!), but reproduction is a big, fat deal. Whether you choose to have kids or not, whether you are able to have them or not, it’s all part of the whole feminine mystique, isn’t it? Fan-friggin-tastic. Bring it on!

And just a quick update, I had the D&C almost two weeks ago and everything went very smoothly. It was quick and painless, and the drugs were top quality. I felt so refreshed when I woke up, then they covered me with heated blankets and brought me buttered cinnamon raisin toast. It was the closest I’ve even been to being at a spa. The only thing they could have done to improve conditions would have been to offer me a pedicure and some lipo while I was under. I will now be free of sharp, pokey things until August. And then, no more Bagel Bites for YOU, fibies!

I’ve gotten waaaay out of the habit of blogging and I need to get myself back in. I keep thinking of things to write about and I have a backlog of things that need to be photographed, but I’ve lost those little holes I used to carve out in my day for blogging. I’ll get the chisel.

On the kitting front, I’m working steadily on Scoop du Jour by Bonne Marie Burns. Speaking of whom, it has come to my attention that I’ve been adding an “i” to her name to make her a “Bonnie Marie”. But her name is pronounced “bon”, like “Jon” but with a “B”. I could swear that I’ve seen the “i” in her name. Naturally, I assumed she was gaslighting me and changed her first name everywhere on her website. You know, just to mess with me. She swears this is not the case. THEN, I find out that ChicKnits is pronounced “sheek knits”, all frenchy-like. I’ve been calling it “Chick Knits”. What, I ask you, the hell? Why am I not able to comprehend the language over at Bonne’s place? (Do you know how hard it was to leave that “i” out? Do you?)

But anyway, I’m loving the sweater so far. I’ve got the back and left front piece finished. I’m using TLC Cotton Plus in Kiwi green. The pattern calls for Cotton Ease, but since it’s discontinued, I didn’t think I’d be able to get any. Since then, I got enough Cotton Ease for two more sweaters. Oops. :) They’re definitely different yarns. The Cotton Plus has more sheen, but it’s very soft, I also had to go up one needle size to get gague. I’ll be photographing it soon to show it off.

I have to say that the Scoop du Jour is just what I needed on my needles. I’ve been stuck on the idea of doing something lacey, but I just haven’t been able to concentrate and have become really frustrated. I’ve got three failed lacey things put aside for when my brain is in better working condition. But now the fog has lifted, my obsession has been rekindled and I’m cranking away! I have also come to terms with the fact that I just don’t like wearing wool. Wool blends are ok, but mostly, I wear cotton and cotton blends. This has come as a huge relief because cotton is a lot cheaper and now I’m really excited about making things I will actually wear for not that much money. Yay, me! Don’t get me wrong, I still love me some alpaca and wool, but I like them more for hats and scarves and shawls. I wear a shawl at work all the time, and I like that I can toss it on and off with ease. I was working on the Flower Basket shawl in Koigu, but got all messed up with the chart. Hopefully, after some success with a couple of sweaters, I’ll have my bearings back and will finish that up in the fall.

Finally, here is something I think you will like.

DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK unless you:

- Have swallowed your coffee/soda/tea
- Have recently evacuated your bladder
- Don’t care if the guy in the next cube hears you snort with laughter
- Have a score to settle with your cat

You have been warned.

Wesley Buckaroo

Possible TMI within, but 100% cat poop free!

2005-06-15T12:10:00.000-05:00

(TMI = Too Much Information)

So, as many of you have apparently noticed, I’ve been really slacking off in the blogging department lately. And I must say, I’m flattered so many of you thought I had catapulted right off the planet. I would love to see the missing persons report for Stitchy McYarnpants. If such a thing were to be required, please don’t settle for my last know photo, take some time and pick something where I look cute and thin and happy. Like this. Or this. C’mon, I’d do it for you. Do not, under any circumstances, allow my brother to make authorities use his favorite photo of me. The one where my eyes are rolling back into my head and there are strings of saucy spaghetti dangling out of my mouth. And no, you will get not link to that little gem.

Anyway, I’m going to do my best to explain why I’ve been flying under the radar. It’s not as though I feel I owe anyone an explanation (or a long list of excuses), but some things just sort of ask to be written about. Have blog, will journal. Know what I mean? I usually keep my personal life pretty personal. That’s mainly because my personal life is largely uninteresting. And while not as fascinating as being involved in a freaky, Oprah-couch-stomping, ass-of-oneself-making, squirmy love-fest with Tom Cruise, or wrestling a bunch of lions with just my bare hands and some Cambodian midgets, the past couple of months have been vaguely interesting.

See, it all started when Jon knocked me up sometime in April. After peeing on many a stick (can I say that I love peeing on those home pregnancy test sticks? It’s like I’m my own little chemistry set!), I had the blood test and yada yada, I was good and pregnant. Normally, this would either make someone very happy or very sad. All I could think was “Terrific, here we go again.” I guess my initial reaction was one of mild annoyance. This was my third pregnancy since last Christmas. The first two disappeared as quickly and stealthily as they’d shown up. Ninja pregnancies. They never implanted and were considered “chemical pregnancies” because they could only be detected chemically. By peeing on things. It turns about that approximately 50% of first pregnancies end this way, and most people don’t even realize they were ever pregnant. But if you’re trying to conceive, and you have the penchant for peeing on sticks, and you just can’t wait for anything ever, you can find out before your period is even due! Bad idea!

This time around, the little bugger stuck and Jon and I were pleased as punch, but we remained cautiously optimistic. Throughout the month of May, I felt like crap, just like a woman in my delicate condition should. Tired and nauseous and cranky with headaches and boobaches. Oprah made me weepy, Dr. Phil filled me with more rage than usual. It was the whole kit and caboodle. It was delightfully awful. The due date was to be January 8th, so obviously a lot of knitting would be required. This poor kid was going to be covered in piles of superwash wool. But I felt too crappy to even knit. Now THAT’S crappy.

We were all set to tell the parental units on Father’s Day. We were even allowing ourselves to get a little excited. Just a little.

Unfortnately, I discovered last week that I had a miscarriage. A missed miscarriage, to be exact. That means it stopped growing, there is no heartbeat, but the tissue is still hanging around in there and I’m still having mild symptoms. Neat! I was even starting to show a little. Part of what I was showing was a lack of self control, I’ll admit it. Bagel Bites, as it turns out, are the perfect food. I couldn’t help myself, I’m not made of stone! But it wasn’t all snack related, I was looking like I had the beginnings of a little bun in the oven. Well, as it turns out, my oven is stuffed full of fibroids (benign lumps of tissue, pretty common with women in their 30’s). Enough that they were actually pooching out! So I wasn’t eating for two, I was eating for 12. Or however many of them there are. The ultrasound technician stopped trying to count them. She seemed really impressed with my fibroid-making abilities. We all have our talents, people.

As it turns out, the first two pregnancies probably tried to implant, but ran headlong into a lumpy mass and got nowhere. This one managed to implant, but with all the extra delicious hormones, the fibies grew lightening quick, decreasing the blood supply to the lining of the uterus. Of course, this is all speculation, but it seems perfectly reasonable. All in all, I’m just not a very hospitable environment. In fact, I’d say I’m downright hostile in there. Well, not totally, I mean, the fibies are flourishing. But the joke’s on them. I’m not putting one cent towards their college tuition.

So I’m giving it another week for the tissue to pass on it’s own, because frankly, the fewer procedures (i.e. sharp, pokey things) I have in my nethers, the better. If it doesn’t do it’s own thing, I’ll have a D&C next week. Once this is all cleared up, I have to get the fibroids removed (more sharp, pokey things). That should be happening round about August. And in my own silly fashion, I’ve gone and anthropomorphized them already. I have a bad habit of doing that. Have you seen that awful Mentos commercial with the baby chicks tweeting in unison for a refreshing mint? Yeah, well, in my mind, that’s what they look like. All the fibroids are nestled together, chirping incessantly, forcing me to keep eating Bagel Bites. On the plus side, they like Sangria, too.

So, in some way, I feel betrayed by my body. Especially the pooching out part. Can you stand it?! Mother nature is a tricky bitch sometimes. But I know it’s all fairly common and easily (albeit unpleasantly) remedied. I felt a lot better after talking to the doctor because it all seems so logical. If my arm were to fall off, I’d be fine as long as someone had a solid medical explanation for it. And I feel confident in my ability to get pregnant seeing as how I’ve done it three times since December. Jon has good aim and determined boys. So I just need to get through the next couple of months of endless appointments and pokey things, and then we can get back to trying. That’s the fun part.

Jon and I really are feeling ok about the whole thing, we have amazing friends and family around us to lend support. Everyone who knows has been kind and respectful. We’re not dramatic people and these situations are often so awkward, but it’s such a common occurrence that to hush it up seems like ignoring an elephant in the room. It’s just one of those crazy things that happens sometimes. Whaddaya gonna do? And Charlene, I must say, is the uber friend. She has gone with me to most of my appointments, even the ultrasounds. She actually seemed to enjoy visiting the moonscape that is the inside of my uterus. AND, she blew her diet to go out for ice cream with me after the last appointment (and the one before that). That goes above and beyond a ride to the airport, and I wholly appreciate it.

All in all, when everything gets weighed out, I’m still a very lucky girl.

A Blogging Flogging

2005-06-04T17:37:00.000-05:00

I suck. I do, I know I do. I am a bad blogger. And a bad knitter. And a bad person in general. I forgot my dad’s 65th birthday on Wednesday! How crappy is THAT?! I mean, as far as birthdays go, 65 is right up there with 1, 21, 30, and 80. It’s a big one. And I forgot. Luckily, my father is a lovely and forgiving man. And good-looking, to boot (yes, he reads my blog). So I’m hoping he’s not too disappointed in me. He said that he’s had so many birthdays already that he’s stopped counting, but I think he was just being nice. I’d be annoyed if my ungrateful daughter forgot mine. I did my best to make it up to him by sending him some filet mignon and stuffed potatoes from Omaha steaks. Plying him with meat and taters may be the only way to fix this. (*just wanted to add that as of posting, he received his steaks and all is well. Yay!)

Have you ever looked down for a second, only to look up and find that it’s a month later? Freaky, man. It’s been that kind of month. I think all of the non-stop rain and grayness was really affecting me adversely. I was feeling pretty crappy and bummed out. Not depressed, really, just sort of like a lump of boneless chicken with no motivation. Even if I had felt like blogging, you probably wouldn’t have wanted to read it. I was actually too much of a slug to even knit. Bad. Bad. Bad. But the sun is out, the sidewalk is dry, and it’s all good.

Thanks for all the great feedback about the quilters! I’m going to put together all the links into a post and link to it on my sidebar. It’ll be easy to keep tack of and update that way. And no, I still have no plans to take up quilting. But I do want to just sit in the middle of a room cutting out little shapes with a shiny pair of razor sharp shears. That’s the part that most appeals to me. But since most of those little pieces would go missing in a matter of minutes, I’ll hold off.

Also, I just want to give a shout out to my girl, Bookish Wendy, for hosting a swell Taste of Yarn party. It was a great break from being crabby! All that amazing food and lovely knitters and tasty yarn were just what I needed. There are lots of accounts written by different bloggers who were in attendance, so all I’ll say is that I’m in love with Future Man (pictured very provocatively in the linked post) and leave it at that. At the party, the ever-delightful Melanie gave this gorgeous wool for spinnin’. She got it at the NH Sheep and Wool Festival. I think I would have picked this very thing out of everything they surely had there. The colors are spot on. She’s trying to suck me into that whole world of spinning. It may work.

And lest you think I haven’t been knitting at all, I have been. A little. I started a Flower Basket Shawl with some red Koigu I had lying around (I know! Koigu. Lying around. I told you I’m a bad knitter). But I just can’t concentrate on a chart right now, so I’ve packed it up for a while. I need to fix my botched Branching Out scarf before embarking on another lace project, anyway.

So because I’m having a tough time focusing lately, I’ve been doing simple stuff. The two projects I’ve almost finished are both felting projects. The knitting part is done, I just need to toss them into the machine. The first is a cute little rose from Two Old Bags’ booklet “Wooly Embellishments”. There are lots of cute flowers and vines in here that are silly and fun. They’d be good for felted bags or hats or any number of things around the house that need wooly embellishment.

The other thing I’m almost done with is a purple felted bag. Pretty straightforward. It started as a Booga Bag , but it’s a lot smaller than it should be, so it’s more of a Booga purse. The yarn is something extra scratchy I got for 5 bucks at Rhinebeck. I can’t remember what it is. Let’s hope it felts . . .

Oh, and I need to thank Maryse for sending me some great pattern books recently. I think she has a fetish for knitted bathroom paraphernalia, since two of the books have an entire ensemble du toilette within. I sent one of the booklets to Marnie as part of her prize package, so she should be making a toilet cozy real soon. Merci, Maryse! mwah!

Ok, I feel better now that you all don’t think I’m dead or have ditched you. Bear with me and we’ll have a new MOKS in no time!

Quilting Bee-atches (in a good way)

2005-05-10T11:22:00.000-05:00

OK. Stop what you’re doing and think about quilts for a minute. Stick with the first image that pops into your head. What did you see when you thought about a quilt? Was it tumbling blocks or calico squares? Was there a 1950’s style grandma with a perfect bun and sensible shoes standing near the quilt? Did you think of the quilt providing warmth on a cold night? Or of church craft fairs?

Me, too. But not any more. In the past few months, I realized that my image of quilting was the same as some people’s image of knitting. My first realization came when I ran across Melody at Fibermania. It turns out that quilts can be as complex and artistic as paintings. I don’t know why I never realized this. I guess it had just never occurred to me. But check out some of her amazing work.

And even more recently, I learned of PaMdora. She took part in the Special Guest Edition of the MOKS. Her quilts are more like illustrations. They’re funny and full of action. Imagine that. Action/comedy quilts.

Do yourself a favor and check out the links on these two ladies’ websites. Enjoy a whole other species of fiber addict. They’re not too different from us knitters, actually. They use all kinds of different types and textures of fabrics, they dye their own, and their houses are crammed to the gills with creatively placed stash. And they also have the pleasure of knowing that quilts from the 70’s were freaking awful, just like knitting! They’re sisters in obsession and we love them!

Of anyone wants to share a link to their favorite quilter, or if you are a quilter, please post a link in the comments. I’ll gather them up and make a section on the sidebar. I don’t know why, but I’m just taken by them lately. And no, I have no plans to start quilting. I don’t have the space and I don’t need another obsession. And that’s that.

On another note, Dot’s clothing labels finally came, so I will be sewing it into Marnie’s shirt tonight and will be sending it off in the mail tomorrow, along with the other booty she won. I also need to scan in something I’m adding to the prize package, I got it from Maryse at Bags n Trash and to see it is to want to poke your own eyes out with a size 3 dpn. Awesome! Merci beaucoup, Maryse!!!

Marnie 'n Harlot

2005-05-01T21:11:00.000-05:00

OK, I finally got the camera taken care of, so now I can show Marie’s prize for the MOKS contest.

First, we have some cute lil’ yarn flowers that I have been distracted by since I got a Crazy Daisy flower loom from the 30’s or 40’s. I should have taken a picture of it. It looks more like an ancient weapon than a flower loom. It’s a flat, brass circle, maybe 2 inches in diameter. There’s a small knob in the middle. When you turn the knob, 12 short metal spikes stick out evenly around the edge of the circle. This is where you wrap the yarn. Once it’s sewn up in the center, you turn the knob to retract the spikes and off pops the flower. Neat! I think they came out with a plastic version in the 70’s, but I like the one that looks like you could lop someone’s head off with it if you threw it hard enough. It’s a Chinese Crafting Star!

So anyway, here are the flowers. I put them on some bobby pins, but they aren’t glued on, so Marnie can do with them as she pleases. She has long hair, and I think they’d look cute pinned in by the elastic. If anyone can pull it off, I think she can. If not, they’d be cute stuck on a computer monitor or in a trash can. They’re pretty versatile.

There are also some vintage pattern books. It’s a good assortment of silly crocheted pot holders, some men’s sweaters, a knitting primer with some classic stitch patterns, and a couple of ladies magazines.

There's also some yarn! It's Plymouth Outhback Mohair and it’s gorgeous stuff. I’ve made two simple garter-stitch shawls out of it, one for me and one for my mom. I have mine at work and wear it all the time. Very cuddly and soft, but it sheds a fair amount. Luckily, I’m already coated in cat hair, so you can’t really notice. Hopefully, Panda takes care of that for her.

And last, but certainly not least: A Dot Original. This used to be one of my favorite shirts. Then Dot decided it was boring and needed reconstruction. It’s now the first release from her new line of spring fashions. Remember, if it doesn’t have a hole, it’s not a Dot! I ordered some labels that say “A Dot Original” to sew inside, so as soon as those show up next week, I’ll ship the whole package out. Yes, I ordered Dot some labels for the clothing she ruins. Does that seem wrong?

Congratulations Marnie! I hope you enjoy your prize!

And now, some proof of knitting. I started making Branching Out from Knitty. I’m using GGH Soft Kid and it was coming along very nicely, if I may say so.

And then. Well, last week, do you remember hearing a far off, otherwordly shrieking? It was from a mysteriously long distance and made deer stop in their tracks. Flocks of birds took flight at the sound of it. Children all over the world were crying from the blood curding horror of the ungodly noise.

Yeah. That was me.

I messed up one row and then tried to tink it. Because of the yarn-overs, I got all screwed up, so I tried to tink that, then reknit as best I could. Then I screwed up again and ended up tinking about 5 or 6 rows, maybe more. My memory of the affair gets hazy right around here and I can’t be responsible for what I did to anyone nearby. No court would convict me once they took into consideration that this is very fuzzy stuff and hard to knit, never mind unknit. I thought I had gotten back on track, but did almost an entire repeat of the pattern before I realized that I had started with the wrong row. Now it’s all wonky and I want to set it on fire. I have almost 3 feet done, but had to put it away. I’ll revisit the thing when I’m not feeling so violent at the sight of it. It’s safer for everyone that way. It may end up in Dot’s food bowl as I would almost rather see it embedded in poop at this point.

At least I had something to look forward to. A fantastic evening with the Yarn Harlot at Circles in JP. I met up with a bunch of amazing bloggers, some I had met before and some I was delighted to meet for the first time. I didn’t have a camera, but a lot of these ladies did and they did a great job documenting the evening. The place was packed, there was a great energy and it was really nice to be in a huge crowd of people that understand this whole knitting ting. Stephanie was hilarious and there’s a quality to her voice that I love. I can’t describe it very well, but she kind of speaks with a smile. You can actually hear it. Nice. She was very gracious and spent time with everyone she met at the signing. I’m entirely flattered that she remembered Dot. I felt a little bad that she lives in complete fear of her. But to know Dot is to love her, so maybe I’ll ship her off to Canada to live with Auntie Harlot for a week. We all must face our fears, no matter how Orwellian they are.

Afterwards, a group of us went to Doyle’s and had a great time. In attendance were:

My OKB (Origial Knitting Buddy), Melanie
Jackie, who I saw riding her bike to Circles, and had to keep myself from yelling “Hey, JKC!”
Kellee. She loves pumpkin, so I love her.
Colleen, who because her blog name, I imagine spends her entire day riding around on the T so she can knit and knit and knit.
Amy, who created the adorable tampon case for Knitty’s sexy issue.
Wonder Claudia, Knitter of Steel!
Rosemary, who dwells in a land I dare not enter. The land of spinning. If I don’t start, I won’t get obsessed, right?
Johanna, who couldn’t make it to the signing, but I was so glad she could meet us afterwards.

There is one thing that’s driving me crazy about the evening. When we got there, most of the seats were taken. There were a couple of stools left, so we plopped ourselves right down. It turns out I was in Stephanie’s seat. To my right was Melanie, who moved further right and onto the floor and gave me her stool. She insisted and it was really sweet. And then I realized what was going to happen. I was going to be sitting next to the Yarn Harlot. At first, this seemed like a pleasant thing. And then I realized that everyone would be taking pictures of her. And because I was sitting next to her, I’d end up in a bunch of those pictures! Crap! I was totally having a bad face day! And my suspicions have been confirmed. There I am in a bunch of Harlot-related posts. Damn. But Melanie is in a bunch, too, so she didn’t escape unphotographed. Heh.

OH! I almost forgot to mention that we just got back from seeing The Hitchikers Guide to the Galazy and I don't know if anyone else has mentioned it, but all knitters must go just for one scene where they activate the Improbablilty Drive. Fan-friggin-tastic! I don't want to ruin it, but they experience a world in which we could all live happily ever after. The movie in it's entirely was pretty good considering they had to fit everything into a couple of hours. I still prefer the BBC miniseries in all it's "Dr. Who"-ish goodness.

And the Winner is . . .

2005-04-27T09:58:00.000-05:00

Wow. Did I totally miss yesterday? Huh. I promised you a winner and a winner you shall have.

But first, let me tell you about this funny thing my cat did . . .

Alright, alright! I’ll tell you. The randomly selected and ever adorable winner of the grant from the Museum of Kitschy Stitches is . . . .

Marnie MacLean from MarnieTalks! YAY! If you don’t know Marnie, please make her a regular stop on your Blogtown trolley. She’s got some amazing designs, an interesting blog, and also possesses what could be the cutest dog in the world, Panda.

And what does Marnie’s grant consist of? Well, it ain’t a scholarship, sister. It’s actually a few things, but we’re having technical difficulties with the camera, and I’d rather photograph everything rather than just say what it is. It’s more fun that, way, doncha think? By the way, Marnie, does your apartment allow large reptiles? Just askin’. We should have the camera issues resolved soon, like tonight soon (our memory card got corrupted. Aren’t you dying to know what kind of pictures we took to corrupt it? rrrowr Mom, I’m just kidding.)

There will also be knitting pictures, because I still knit, you know. Just not as much as I’d like.

Thanks to everyone who played, it was really fun to see what you all came up with. You gals crack me up.

The Museum of Kitschy Stitches, Vol. VI - Special Guest Exhibit

2005-04-25T14:44:00.000-05:00

This feature has moved! Click here to go to it's new location.

I'm busy. YOU do it!

2005-04-16T12:47:00.000-05:00

So here's the deal. I'm busy. Really busy. So busy I can hardly stand it. This means that the Museum of Kitschy Stitches is temporarily on hold until I can reign in my ever-crapulating life. It will probably be back in full force next month, but I just can't do it this month.

All together now: "Awwwwwww. But Stiiiitchyyyy . . . ."

Well, I must say that I'm more than flattered at the great feedback the MOKS has gotten. I love that you love it. And now it's time for you all to give a little something back to me. It's all about me, right? So here are four photos of some yarntrocities, without any snarky commentary from yours truly. This is where you come in. I have created a special email account where you will be sending me your very own commentary about these awful things. It's StitchyIsLazyOopsIMeanBusy at yahoo.com (I replaced the @ with "at" to avoid crawlers, just make the substitution before you send the email). You can do just one, some, or all of them. Make sure you put the numbers by each bit of text so I know what it's for. I will be posting all of the comments for each photo next week, so you have until next Saturday night (the 23rd) to get your comments in. If you want credit, put your name and blog address (if you have one) so everyone will be able to appreciate your brilliance.

There will be some sort of contesty facet to this, but I haven't figured out that part yet. I'm not going to judge the best comments because I just don't have the intestinal fortitude for that sort of thing. Also, I'm very selfish with my stash and can't give something to everyone (but you're all winners in my heart. You know that, don't you?). I will probably do some kind of random drawing, but I'm like the wind. If the wind were a selfish, lazy bee-atch.

OK, people. Hop to it.

#1

#2

#3

#4

Why I Love Me Some Charlene

2005-04-06T16:51:00.000-05:00

I just had to share this email exchange Charlene and I have been having over the last hour or so. She is house-sitting for a girl she works with and I’m going to hang out with her tonight.

And now, the McYarnpants Email Theater is proud to present:

“Dinner at Andrea’s”

Charlene: So, should we get some food to take with us to Andrea’s tonight? I have until Friday when Weight Watchers starts to eat recklessly. Anything you’re in the mood for? I can meet you at home and we can drive over together.

Me: Well, I was going to make a salad with a leftover pork chop from last night for lunch, but we ended up getting Quiznos subs. It was a disappointment and I really was looking forward to pork chop salad. I could bring that and we can share it. Then it’ll counteract the effects of the giant hot fudge sundaes I think we should have. With maraschino cherries, even. Whole handfuls of them.

Charlene: Handfuls of cherries or handfuls of sundaes? Handfuls of everything I say! I have a couple of leftover sausages we could toss on the salad too. We’ll have to stop for sundae ingredients. There is mudslide mix at the house, Andrea insisted I have some before I go.

Me: Ooh! I forgot about the lovely, lovely sausages . . . Can we have caramel on our sundaes? I have some nuts at my house, too.

Charlene: Of course caramel! I mean, as long as there is whipped cream to balance the whole thing out.

Me: Obviously. The whipped cream is what makes it all work. That and the expensive premium iced cream we’re going to use.

Charlene: Nancy suggested perhaps we might also want some delicious shaved coconut as well. I must say I’ve never thought about that option, but I do believe coconut has fiber doesn’t it?

Me: Hmmmm. That might be interesting. I think I have some of that, as well. But it has sugar on it. Is that a problem? HA HA HA HA HA HA

Charlene: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: So coconut then?

Charlene: I can’t think of any reason why not.

It's nice to have a friend who so truly and deeply understands me.

We Stitched, We Bitched, We Swapped!

2005-04-04T22:31:00.000-05:00

Looking for a good time? Call a bunch of knitters! Seriously. I had the pleasure of hosting a small get-together on Saturday and it was such a blast! Know how I know it was good? Everyone’s husbands and/or boyfriends kept calling them and asking when they were coming home. Each devoted little knitter would say “Soon, honey! I’m leaving in a few minutes.” After about an hour, the men were calling again. “Put a sock in it, Mister. And I want the dishes done by the time I get home!” soon became the new battle cry.

And with each lovely knitter came delicious treats! I do love tasty treats. Melanie made strawberry-cinnamon muffins, Elisa brought a delightful selection of Japanese candies, including gummy “Fry Eggs” and some chocolate Melty Kisses. Wendy brought some brownies with Jr. Mints melted atop (great idea – I’m stealing it) and a fan-friggin-tastic Red Velvet cake with cream cheese frosting.

Ben brought a beautiful salad with almonds and currants and a bag of hazelnut chocolates and some soda to balance out the healthy effects of the salad. Maryse stopped at Trader Joes and got some sparkly Pear Apple and Raspberry juices and some fiber to help move all the other snacks along. She also gave me some cute sweater-shaped point protectors for circular needles! I probably forgot a bunch of things because there ended being a metric ton of food. It was perfect!

After noshing for a bit (noshing is when you cram as many handfuls of shrimp cocktail into your gullet as you can, right?), we got to knitting and chatting and laughing and general merry-making. Everyone got along great and time flew by. I even learned how to say everyone’s name properly!

Here’s Melanie knitting in front of the dollhouse Charlene’s grandfather made for her mother. Whenever one of the cats runs into the basement, they head right into this house. It’s cute until you try to pry them out.

And here are Ben, Elisa, and Wendy.

We were also joined by my friend, Charlene. She doesn’t knit, but she was working with needles and fiber, so we let her join our club. Here she is practicing embroidering a mascara wand. I’m going to knit and felt some cosmetic bags, she’s going to embroider them, and we’re going to sell them for our community group’s charity thingy this summer. My project on Saturday was to knit a panel that I later felted so she could practice on the real thing. I’m also happy to report that despite a raging tooth-ache, my sister-in-law, Shannon, was also able to enjoy the festivities. I think she’s ready to try cables after chatting with the ladies about it for a bit. Yay! (I didn't get a picture of her alone, but you can see her behind the various Vanna's below.) I tried to get Dot and Chi-Chi to join us, but they got freaked out and ran back upstairs. Pussies.

One of the highlights of the evening was the yarn swap. Everyone (well, almost everyone. I’m looking at you, Bags ‘n’ Trash) had packaged their yarn in pretty gift bags. I’m glad the party was at my place because I was able to run upstairs to get a pretty bag for mine. We did it Yankee Swap style, so everyone picked a number and we took turns selecting a bag of yarn. Each person was able to steal the previously selected yarn if she liked it better than the yarn she had selected herself. But who would ever do such a thing? Who would go to someone’s house and STEAL their YARN? What sort of pers . . .

Oh. I see.

Here is Elisa making off with my alpaca. You can’t see it in this picture, but my heart was broken. Smashed to bits. I did get three skeins of fluffy Jaeger Aero in return, so I will have mercy upon her soul. It’ll make a pair of great fuzzy mittens. That way, I won’t leave any fingerprints behind when I - oh, never you mind, dearies.

As each person selected their bag, I made them Vanna it for the pleasure if the entire internet. These girls can really work it! I’m going to try to post these in order of the picking. I’m probably wrong.

Everyone brought great stuff to swap, not a bad egg in the batch! I didn’t get pictures of everyone’s prize, but I did manage to capture Maryse doing a great Princess Leia impression with her newly-gotten wool booty. May the force be with you, mon cher.

The evening came to the perfect end when we all followed Rule #3 about meeting bloggers. The Sharpies came out, as did Wendy’s torso (one can only assume that her chest was full of other people signatures), and, well, I don’t have pictures, but she does (run, don’t walk, over there!) I think she should make this memory permanent. If only we knew someone who was married to a tattoo artist . . .

In summation, I’d like to say that you’ll never find a finer buncha knitters in the land, but I do recommend trying, because these get-togethers are loads of fun! I can’t wait for the next one! My rumpus room is ready for more rumping! Uhhh. I’m not really sure what that means. But when I find out, I’ll let you know!

Here Comes Michael Cottontail

2005-03-27T10:46:00.000-05:00

Well, it’s Easter and with the preponderance of bloggers posting photos and step-by-step instructions about dying yarn and roving lately, I have decided that eggs and wool are not the only thing that should be able to enjoy a dip into the dye pot.

Check out this fantastic fiber I have! Look at that unique crimping! Its luxuriously soft and warm and I have a bunch of it! But gray is so . . . I dunno . . . gray? So I’ve decided to make it blue! I tried to catch a few steps on camera to help anyone else who has similar fiber to work with. A lot of you do and you don’t even know it!

I give you: “Stitchy’s Guide to Live Dying”!!**

Here are some of the tools you will need:
A large pot with a cover, food coloring of your choice (I’m using a tube of the gel kind), tongs, and a pair of oven mitts to handle the roving. You really have to be careful as it can be very hard to maneuver.

First, place the roving into the pot of water with all of the color added. Use a very low heat. You don’t want to cook the little guy. There’s not nearly enough meat on there to do anyone any good.

Cover tightly for about 30 minutes or until all the color is gone from the water.

The roving will dry naturally as it runs all over the house willy-nilly. The benefit of Live Dying is that the fur retains its lustrous softness throughout the process. Just look at that sheen. Check out Chi-Chi in the background. His jaw has literally dropped at the beauty of Mike’s faboo new fur. And Dot’s tongue is hanging out in desire for such finery.

Here is the most plush and coveted section of the roving - the tail. Just look at that loft. This is going to be one heck of a scarf! When it grows back, I think I’ll try to do something in autumnal colors.

I won't be posting photos of us harvesting the fur. Those would be too graphic and bloody for my dear, delicate readers. Mike has very sharp nails.

I think we’re also going to try some psychedelic Tie-Dot fiber soon, too! Duuuude!

And now, here’s a special holiday message from our official Easter spokesbunny – the Drunken Rabbit in Yellow Pants!

“Huh? Oh . . . Izz springtime an you know wha that . . . hic . . . you know wha . . . hic . . youknowhathat meansss. Time to exploit the bunnies and little baby chi . . . hic . . . chicks. Nice! Why don you people chop of your own feet for luck an see how you like it? Hop down the freakin bunny trail on THAT! Lousy, rotten . . . hic . . .lousy, rotten . . . uuuurp. An another thing, who the hell invented those Cadbury Creme eggs? I love those things, maaan. Hap . . . hic . . . Hippy Essss . . . Happy Erssta . . . Happy Eeeezter! ~belchhh~

**No, I don’t really put my cat into a pot of water and I beg of you, please don’t try it. It’s a joke and Mike was crammed full of treats for an hour after we took these pictures. He has forgiven us.

Vacation Debriefing

2005-03-26T20:20:00.000-05:00

We’re baaaaack! We’ve been baaaaack for over a week, actually. Whenever I take time off work, it takes twice as long as I took off to catch up. It’s been a crazy week and looks like it will continue to be for a while. Yech.

How was our vacation, you ask? Well, let me start with a brief disclaimer. Anyone who knows me at least enough to recognize me in a lineup knows that I have trouble with the whole concept of time and it’s relation to me being anywhere at any given point. It’s totally annoying and rude and makes everyone seethe with anger. Unfortunately, my inner clock is a few cuckoos short of normal and it’s just the way I am. It’s been that was since I was a child and received “N”s (Not Satisfactory) on grammar school report cards in the box next to “Uses time wisely”. I’ll issue a blanket apology now that is good through eternity to anyone who I ever need to meet at a specific time. I am very sorry for my lateness.

My brother, who estimates that everything takes 5 minutes, no matter what it is (Our cuckoos were installed by the same manufacturer.), drove us to the airport. We had some time to kill (Warning! Danger, Will Robinson!), so we went to get some Sunday breakfast. Jon is a perpetually early person. Loves to be early, that guy. As we waited for our check, I was teasing him because he was getting anxious about being late. “The airport is just 5 minutes away!” said my brother reassuringly.

Yadda yadda

They wouldn’t let us check in our bags as it was just 25 minutes until our flight. To me, 25 minutes seems like puh-lenty of time, but whatever. Apparently the only other flight to Miami that would get us there in time was booked and the nice lady at the desk offered us standby. I imagined the horns of the Love Boat sounding as they took off, people throwing confetti at us as we missed our cruise. But I stayed calm and the nice lady finally worked out a connecting flight to Baltimore, then Miami that would get us there in the nick of time. Hey! I love the nick of time!

Yadda yadda

They lost our luggage. Fast forward through the stressful wait in the line to talk to the emotionally void staff who talk to pissed-off people about their long lost luggage all day. I won’t bore you with the details of our conversation, just know that I explained a number of times that we had to catch our cruise boat in an hour, only to be asked “So where will you be tonight?” I could only tell the truth as I knew it. “Middle of the ocean.”

Yadda yadda

Tuesday night, we were finally reunited with our luggage as we pulled out of Cozumel. It flew out to meet us, how thoughtful. By then, the change of clothing we had packed in our carry-on at Jon’s suggestion (thank you, Jon) were at peak ripeness. So happy were we at the reunion, we cheered. Then Jon welcomed the big suitcase in such a special way that I think he and it are legally wed in some countries.

The rest of the cruise was delightfully uneventful, despite the fact that it was spring break and our boat was crammed with drunken college students. We lounged, we sipped cocktails, we watched cheesy onboard entertainment, we dined frequently. It rocked.

And the burning question: Did I finish my Chickami in time to wear it in the cruise???

Nope.

But I got close. I finished the straps on the plane home and haven’t even attached them yet. But I’m pretty pleased with it. It only started pooling at the top where it gets separated into two pieces. I never did get to the Koigu. At least I had something to look forward to post-vacation.

And here is the hoodie, blocking and preparing itself for seaming.

It's good to be back. It's better to be on vacation.

Wrap up.

2005-03-12T19:08:00.000-05:00

Jon and I are taking off for a Caribbean cruise tomorrow, so I figured I'd write up a quick post to publicly apologize for abandoning the cats on favor of icy Pina Coladas and non-stop buffets for a week. Sucks to be you, kitties.

I also wanted to cover a few things before leaving. First is that I had a freaking blast last week celebrating Wendy's birthday in JP. I love me some Wendy. My gal Melanie was in attendance and I had the pleasure of meeting Elisa and Jackie, two great, funny bloggers, and all-around good-time Charleys. It's so good to know that the internet houses such wonderful people. I also met a bunch of non-blogging-but-still-totally-cool friends of Wendy's. I can't wait for her to age another year so we can do it again!

Next, I wanted to concur with Melanie about our first (and last) trip to Wild and Wooly in Lexington. I realize that a lot of people are loyal customers, so it can't be all that bad. It's a nice store with a huge selection of yarn, but we felt extremely uncomfortable with the sales woman on duty. As soon as we walked in, she asked if we needed help or were looking for anything in particular. I appreciate this and often take people up on the offer. But this time we thanked her and told her we were just looking around. I think she may have decided not to like us when we asked about the pricing of yarns. None of the actual yarn labels are priced individually. It turns out that either the shelf is labeled or you have to ask. Maybe she thought we were cheapskates. In my case, she would have been correct in that assumption. What can I say, I love yarn that's on sale. Is that so wrong?

Anyhoo, we wandered around ooh-ing and aah-ing and touching the pretty yarns. I've never actually spent much time with Rowan yarn, so I lingered a little, trying to get a feel for the different types I've heard so much about. Again, she asked if we needed any help finding something in particular. We politely declined, repeating that we were just looking. There were lots of books to dig through, so we were poking around. A few minutes later, she came around the corner and said "You're still here?" and started handing different books to us. Books we either had already seen or would have gotten to. She seemed frustrated and it weirded us out. It sounded like she was wishing we had gone. With that, we made our way downstairs. The woman there asked us if we needed anything, we said no thanks and that was that. It was entirely pleasant to browse through the vast selection of yarn. When we were done, we thanked her and headed upstairs where we were greeted with "Oh! You're still here?" With that, we abandoned any thought of loitering long enough to make a purchase and left. It was very uncomfortable. Maybe some stores don't want people just looking around, but I rarely go into a yarn store with something exact in mind. Maybe it was just a bad day. Maybe we just didn't seem like we were going to spend a bunch of money and we were taking up floor space. Who knows. But it's one of those things I felt I should share. I'm not advocating anyone boycott the place, I just figured I'd mention it.

We ended up going to the always warm and friendly Knitting Room in Arlington where I bought some Feeling and some Berroco Suede (on-sale Berroco Suede - mmmmm). While we were there, someone dumped an entire cup of iced coffee on all of the books. The woman working there dealt with it so beautifully. I was impressed with her grace and kindness to the extremely embarrassed and apologetic customer.

In knitting news, my hoodie is just about done! I decided to try blocking before seaming to see of that makes it easier. I haven't had time yet, so when I get back, that will be the project at hand. I'm looking forward to wearing it. It's the less sophisticated little sister of Melanie's newly finshed (and beautiful) Rogue. It's made of the same yarn, some is even the same color. Hers has a hood, mine has a hood! Hers has a front pocket, mine has a front pocket! Hers has amazingly intricate cables throughout, mine . . . is covered in cat hair and pizza crumbs.

Last, I wanted to show you what I'd be doing while floating around the deep blue sea. I started another Bonne Marie Burns brand ChicKami. It's a variegated (yes, I failed Spellcheck again with this word) yarn (Endless Summer Sonanta, thank you Elann!) that I was all set to hate, but I really like the stripeyness of the yarn. It's not pooling as badly as I was afraid it would. My goal is to be wearing this before the cruise is over (on Friday - booooo!)

I also got Lavish Lace that was delivered in light speed from Amazon. I didn't expect it to arrive so soon and I couldn't be more delighted. What a gorgeous book! I have 4 skeins of Koigu KPPPM (my first ever) and will pick something to make while I'm lounging in the sun.

There's not a whole lot you could do to wipe the permagrin off my face at this point. As of this very moment, life kicks ass!

Have a good week, everyone!

Arrest Me!

2005-03-09T17:45:00.000-05:00

From this article about Martha's Amazing Monochromatic Dream Poncho:

"On Monday, Stewart told her employees that the poncho was made by an unidentified fellow inmate who crochets about 12 hours a day using yarn from the prison commissary."

Am I the only one trying to think of a harmless way to get a cool 8-10 years without having to hurt anyone? Well, I may be willing to hurt someone a little . . . you know, depending on what kind of yarn they have in the commissary.

I Did. And I'd Do It Again!

2005-03-08T16:42:00.000-05:00

Today is Jon and my second wedding anniversary. I totally forgot as I was leaving the house this morning! We’re going on a 5-night cruise next week to celebrate, we talked about today being our anniversary last night, and I still forgot. (yes, my memory is that bad) For the record, he forgot, too. We’re flaky peas in a forgetful pod, Jon and I. That’s why I love him. So instead of the post I was going to do today (vaguely knitting-related), I’ve decided to post a few of my favorite wedding pictures. They’re the ones I copied onto my work computer when we got the proof CD from the photographer (that’s why his name is on them). I haven’t looked at them in a while and decided it would be fun to share a few memories.

There was no knitting at the wedding, but there was bowling! We got married at the Milky Way Lounge in Jamaica Plain. It was fantastic and I wish we could do it all over again. I wouldn’t change a single thing. We had a Hawaiian-themed wedding and pretty much everyone dressed for the occasion. I don’t have any with me, but the photos of the guests are so colorful and crazy, it was just what I had imagined. The world’s loudest wedding pictures!

This is me getting ready. Note the rhinestones on the tattoo. Also note the bandaid on my hand from where I sliced myself moments earlier cutting flower stems.

As I was getting ready in the back of the nightclub, Jon had to use the bathroom. His dad didn’t want him seeing me back there, so he led the way.

This is my dad walking me up the aisle (well, technically it was an unused bowling lane). My mom was wearing a muu muu that matched my dad’s shirt. My dress is a vintage 1940’s number that I had to battle for on eBay. We used Israel Kamakawiwo'ole’s Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World as our wedding march. It was the perfect song for the occasion.
You can hear a snip here. Scroll down to the song list.

This is Charlene. She was my Maid of Honor. I love how her fairy tattoo is just visible from the back of here dress. That’s me looking all ghosty in the background.

This is our I Do/Me,Too Kiss

Here is our “formal” wedding portrait (what can I say, informal formality makes me gleeful)

Here are two great photos of the wedding party. Charlene was the Maid of Honor, and Jon’s friend Tom was his Best Man. I almost gave poor Tom a heart attack when I pretended to drop the ring as he handed it to me during the ceremony. I was trying to keep things fun and upbeat. I didn’t realize it could trigger cardiac arrest.

If we were a band, this would be our album cover.

Here is our cake, complete with bobble-head dolls. One layer was chocolate with raspberry filling, the other was tiramisu. Hey! I just remembered that I still have a piece in the freezer that we forgot to eat last year. I wonder if it’s still ok to eat.

Here’s another smoochy picture, this time in front of the twinkling bowling lanes.

And these are my all-time favorite wedding pictures. This is Jon’s grandmother, who they call “Mudoo”. I believe she was 91 when this picture was taken. She’s a firecracker. The little girl is my friend Scott’s daughter. He has three little girls and they are the sweetest things you’d ever want to meet.

I firmly believe that a wedding is a party you’re throwing for your friends and family. It’s a big get-together for both sides. A meet and greet, if you will. The idea of Bridezillas and Princess Days is so crazy. It’s a party, man, relax. Have fun. Anything that goes wrong will only serve as an amusing anecdote later, so let the goofy stuff happen and create some new memories.

Happy Anniverary, Baby!! <3

And now a special report from our Action News team!

2005-03-03T12:14:00.000-05:00

According to anonymous sources, something very strange happened recently at a local residence. Our investigation team went to work!

The location of the suspicious activity is pictured here. This medium-sized cardboard box was filled to the top with Styrofoam packing peanuts. Impromptu forensic testing proved that these were not the kind of packing peanuts that disintegrate when licked. After getting a glass of water, the investigation continued. There was no forced entry into the box, so it was determined to be an inside job. Someone familiar with the residence and the location of the box was involved.

The scene was graphic in its untidiness. Peanuts were strewn violently at the base of the box. Specialists were called in to study the peanut spatter. No specific patterns could be established, so peanut placement was presumed to be random.

Amazingly, a suspect was found almost immediately. The first 15 minutes of any packing peanut incident are the most important. We were first alerted to the culprit by the conspicuous trail of packing peanuts leading directly to her. She was resistant to questioning and refused to acknowledge us.

Her guilt became painfully obvious when we followed her with our camera. The dry winter air combined with her soft fur would be her undoing in the end. She continued to deny any involvement in the incident and we interviewed a number of suspicious residents who may have been present. All maintained their innocence and disavowed any knowledge of the troubling event.

It wasn’t until we were able to obtain this dramatic crime-scene footage from a nearby security camera that any of them admitted their involvement. All suspects have been detained and will be held for questioning for an unspecified length of time. Absolutely no treats will be issued.

Royal Rainbow!

2005-03-01T11:23:00.000-05:00

Thanks for all the great feedback on the MOKS! I really need to get better about responding to comments individually. Please know that I do read them and love them and always visit everyone’s blogs if they leave an address. My Bloglines list is huge, so I’m reading!

It seems like Trashy McNopants is the gal you all love to hate (or totally relate to). Everyone has a Trashy in their family, don’t they? For some of you, it’s YOU! Ha, I love it!

Well, Patternworks never happened on Sunday. My mother-in-law decided not to come because she didn’t want to get stuck in the snowstorm on her way back to NY on Monday. We ended up just meeting my parents in Manchester (a good halfway point between our houses and my parents – as well as my home town!) We went to Buffet King. Or King Buffet. Either way, there was a ton of food. It was mostly Chinese, but there was also, pizza, lasagna, roast beef, and peel-n-eat shrimp (which my mother was kind enough to help me peel because the little feet were grossing me out in a big way. Is a mother’s work ever done?). It was like a cruise on dry land. And since Jon and I are going on a cruise in two weeks, we figured it would be good to get some practice. My dad is the master and showed us how it was done. Apparently, slow and steady wins the race. He very carefully filled his plate on each visit in order to maximize buffet experience. By the time he got to the cream puffs, he had done some serious work. Nice job, dad!

There has also been a very little knitting going on and this is why. Don’t worry about getting the language packs for this site, it works if you hit “Cancel” when it asks. This is the weirdest, cutest, funnest, most addictive video game ever. Well, besides Ratchet and Clank. But it’s totally different than that. It’s got crazy graphics, makes absolutely no sense, and has so many odd details that you can’t look away. The premise if that you are a prince and your father is some other-wordly king. He gets a little tipsy one night and knocks all the stars out of the sky. He feels really bad about it and sends you off with a small sticky ball (the katamari). You must roll this ball around the world and pick things up with it. You start by picking up little stuff like cookies and thumbtacks, then work your way up to pineapples, penguins, sumo wrestlers, fences, buildings, and giant squid. The king will use these balls of stuff to rebuild the stars. Makes no sense, right? But damn is it ever fun! It’s full of insane imagery, sugary Japanese pop songs, and hilarious beratings from the king when your katamari is too small. I played for way too long on Sunday, then as I was reading a magazine later, I was rolling up the words in my head as I read them. I can’t recommend this game enough. Just get it.

And here is a crafty girl who loves it too. She loves it so much, she crochets about it! These hats looks exactly like the sticky ball before you get chestnuts and elephants stuck to it. Jon found this page and was all excited that another knitter liked the game, too. It was very cute. (yes, he considers knitting and crocheting the same thing, and that’s fine by me).

The Museum of Kitschy Stitches, Vol. V - We Are Fam-i-ly

2005-02-24T11:40:00.000-05:00

This feature has moved! Click here to go to it's new location.

Here's the story . . .

2005-02-20T17:00:00.000-05:00

Holy crap! Almost three weeks gone and you’re still here. Thanks! You’ll never believe what’s been going on. It’s been quite a time, let me tell you. First, I was locked in Sam’s meat locker with Bobby and Greg. Man it was cold and those two are total whiners! It’s a good thing Bobby is such a shrimp, otherwise he never would have fit out the window. And since he was the one who shut the door in the first place, he pretty much had to or Greg and I would have killed and butchered him for Sam’s special of the day.

When we finally got out, we all went on a vacation to Hawaii together. You know, to take the edge off. Well, it turns out we were cursed by some ridiculous tchotchke. Yes, it’s clearly the tiki’s fault that there was a spider on the tropical island. And heaven forbid we should all just admit that Greg may not be the greatest surfer in the universe. Yes, let’s all blame the knick-knack from the hotel’s gift shop. But meeting Vincent Price was awesome. I totally thought he was dead.

So after that whole fiasco, Jan became delusional and thought she was dating a boy named George Glass. It was really sad. She actually made arrangements to have the operator call the house so everyone would think she was getting hot and heavy with “George” on the other line. Pathetic. Honey, I don’t think it’s the freckles that are scaring people away. It was almost as bad as that time Cindy had a psychotic break and thought she was Shirley Temple or when Marcia thought her dentist was hitting on her. I think maybe Carol wasn’t as careful with her pregnancies as she should have been, if you know what I mean.

Well, when Mike and Carol finally got everyone’s meds straight, this little kid named Oliver showed up and he looked like trouble, so I got the hell out of there.

So since I’ve been back, I’ve done some knitting. I am in the very unfortunate position of having someone to make a chemo cap for. My friend’s mom has lymphoma and is going back in for treatment. She will be having more than her share of no-hair days in the weeks to come. I figured she could use a fun little hat and scarf set. The hat uses a single ball of Berroco Chinchilla and since I used two colors, I used the leftovers for a little scarf. Here is a free pattern for the chemo cap. I casted on a few times using a cable cast-on so the edge would have some stretch to it and just didn’t think that size 9 needles were going to make the hat big enough. The row of 60 stitches just looked so short. I switched to size 10 needles and still had my doubts, but lo and behold, the thing grew. I probably would have been fine with the 9s. When I showed it to some friends, they each wanted a set, and I’m going to make one for my mom, too. I’ve never dared to use double-pointed needles, but I had to switch from circulars at the very end. All I can say is that I need practice.

I’m also chugging along on the Stitch n Bitch Hoodie. I’m hoping to have it done by next weekend, but we’ll see what happens. My mother-in-law is coming next weekend and we’re going to collect my mother and head to Patterworks on Sunday! Wheeee . . . I mean, I’m on a yarn diet, but I’m sure it will be pleasant to just do some browsing. ;)

The color in this picture is washed out, but this is the front, back, and finished sleeve. I just have a sleeve and a hood to go.

And here is Mike helping me show off the front pocket. I’m very proud of this part. It came out way better that I thought it would.

And here is a random bit of cuteness to help you on your way. Behold the Chloe sandwich!

Oh, by the way. On my way back from Hawaii, I stopped by the Museum of Kitschy Stitches. They sorted out the plumbing problem (apparently all of the toilets exploded last month and they had to cancel the exhibit), and it looked like they were putting the finishing touches on a brand new gallery!

That music listy thing.

2005-02-01T13:54:00.000-05:00

Welp, I’ve been slapped with a meme. Thanks, Ms. Melanie. What’s a girl to do? Answer, I guess.

1. Total amount of music files on your computer?

A lot. Gigs and Gigs of it. I recently transferred most of my CDs, so I have a large library of music on my computer.

2. The last CD you bought was:

A bunch of Christmas CDs from the grocery store, including: James Brown, Dean Martin, The Brady Bunch, Dolly Parton, and Cyndi Lauper.

3. What is the song you last listened to before reading this message?

A stirring medley of Cream’s greatest hits performed by Howard, Artie, and Fred on the Howard Stern show this morning (I know, I know, but sometimes it’s funny. The Cream thing was great.)

4. Write down 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you:

Wow. This is hard. I go through phases and have tons of favorite songs. I’m going to throw some extras in. These are in no particular order and if I made this list tomorrow, it would probably be different.

-Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley. Achingly beautiful.
-I Am Not a Pretty Girl – Ani DeFranco. Go on, sistergirl!
-This Will Be (an Everlasting Love) – Natalie Cole. Pure joy in a handy 3-minute package.
-Red Right Hand – Nick Cave. I love the classic spooky vibe in this one.
-Every Little Thing – Raul Malo. This song is smokin’ hot.
-Rock and Roll Suicide – David Bowie (or Ziggy Stardust, I suppose). Glam rock drama at its finest.
-Jockey Full of Bourbon – Tom Waits. I always imagine this song being used at a ballroom dance competition. It’s kind of a slow rumba. (Tom Waits would always be on this list, but the song depends on the day)
-Let’s Go Crazy – Prince. Freaking awesome song. I toyed with the idea of having our wedding vows start with the lyrics to the beginning of this song.

5. What 3 people are you going to pass this baton to and why?

Julia at Moth Heaven.
Miriam at Mimknits.
Melody at Fibermania.

All three of these ladies are really cool and I want to read their lists. Lay it on me, sisters.

So I was cleaning the litter box this morning . . .

2005-01-28T14:52:00.000-05:00

You gotta love a post that starts with those words, don’t you?

But first, let me get the knitting stuff our of the way. Here is a new picture of the Tropical Shawl, all blocked. I don’t know if it looks much different than the previous pictures of it, but it had definitely changed. It’s less sproingy, flatter, more mature. I gave it to Charlene to send off to Florida today. I’ll miss it. I may have to make one for myself. Lord knows I’ve got the goods.

And here is the back of the Stitch n’ Bitch hoodie I started. I have revised my position about the size. Elisa’s comment yesterday not only made me laugh, it made me pause for thought. I knew she was right and I’d end up hating my new ginormous sweater. I was all set to rip it, then I paused for thought again (wow, twice in one day – I need to give the ol' bean a rest) and held it up to an old favorite sweater that I’ve worn so much that it is no longer really wearable (it’s amazing what too much deodorant does to acrylic – it’s gone all funky). Turns out the hoodie is just about the same size, so it’s full steam ahead! I’m using Classic Elite 03 Tweed. The amazing thing is, I’m actually using it for its intended purpose. I actually had this sweater in mind when I bought it. Go me!

Caryn’s comment also got me where it counts. It appears that January is slipping by and the great halls of the Museum are eerily quiet. Rest assured that I’m working on it and I may get it in under the wire. If not, extra treats in February!

Ooh, speaking of extra treats, my company moved and I got an office of my very own! While shopping for refurbished office furniture, I spyed with my little eye this amazing chair. The place we went to had a few pieces of antique office furniture, so this must have been part of someone’s posh lobby at one point. I knew I had to have it. It’s the most comfortable chair in the world and all who touch it with their buttocks fall instantly under its spell. And my mohair shawl looks great on it, doncha think? Audrey Hepburn suits it perfectly. Spongebob is just there to gay the place up a little.

My office is now the hip place to be and everyone wants to lay their cheeks in my chair. Check out the claw feet! They look more like talons, actually.

On the home front, this is pretty much how dinner looks at Chez McYarnpants. Classy, eh? The vultures don’t even wait for the corpse to die. Jon always gets very smug when this happens because they don’t really bother him too much. I know it’s my own fault, but I try to live a life of giving. I have a need to share, I can’t help it. Who knew a few morsels now and again would hurt anyone? I fear that if I die alone in that apartment, only my glasses would remain.

And with that, I will tell you what I found during my archeological dig this morning. Lots of poop and pee. That’s pretty much it. But, and I feel I can share this with you because we’ve grown close over these past few months, I did find something unnerving among the usual artifacts. I’m not going to post it right here. You’ll have to click on Dot to see what she left me. It’s for your own good, trust me. You just never know when your boss will pop around the corner and ask what you’re looking at. This way, you don’t have to say “Stitchy McYarnpants’ cat’s crap”. Not yet, anyway. Also, this is a decision you need to make for yourself. Do you really and truly want to see my cat’s crap? Really?

As you can see, there are distinct stitches visible in the poo. There is some kind of knitted fabric in there. Now, this is not all that surprising given Dot’s peculiar nature, but the unnerving part is that I have no idea what this is a piece of. I can only think of one thing I’ve made with red yarn and it was given to someone as a gift. Jon and I don’t really wear red, and the one red sweater I do have is in a drawer. I can’t think of a single thing in my house that is knitted and red. So either there is some mysterious, forgotten thing in my house that now has a giant hole in it, or Dot has her own stash of yarn and can knit in stockinette with her ass.

Huh.

Hey, don’t blame me if you can finish your lunch, you’re the one who clicked the picture.

Note to self:

2005-01-25T13:32:00.000-05:00

Do not start making a sweater when you’re feeling bloated.

I’m about 6 inches into the hoodie from the first Stitch 'n Bitch and I made it in size large. Now I think it’s going to be too large, especially in the boobal region. It's looking like a pretty large large, but I really don’t want to rip it all out. I know I should just suck it up and start over, but geez, it’s such a pain. I have decided that I have two choices.

1. Finish it as is, then throw it in the dryer to magically give it the perfect fit.

2. Eat more.

I think either of these will work nicely.

I’m glad my little bear got such a good reaction. I was hoping to sicken you all with his cuteness and it looks like it worked. I highly recommend making one, it’s fun, easy, and really makes people gag when you’re done!

I blocked the lace shawl yesterday and I continue to be amazed at the difference it makes. The lace opened right up, it’s less springy, and actually feels lighter. (maybe I can persuade my handsome model to help me out with some pictures - from the back! Woo!) I used the Euclan no rinse wool wash I got at Patternworks last week and I'm hooked. No rinsing? Sign me up! I have also become a spin cycle groupie. I soaked the shawl and Jon’s sweater in a plastic bin for 15 minutes and then threw them into the washing machine dripping wet, with nary a squeeze from my delicate hands. After five minutes of centrifuging, they were practically dry and yet not twisted, mangled, or mutilated! Zowie! The shawl was dry by that night, and the sweater was dry by the next day. Freakin’-A, man, the spin cycle.

If you're feeling a little randy and are looking for some good fiber porn, head over to Hello Yarn. The entire page is dripping with all manner of delight. No matter what your pleasure - plied, unspun, died, or in the buff, you'll be glad you peeked. And you can buy her wares so you can touch it, too. Sometimes yarn is just as good (maybe better) off the needles as it is on.

So, it snowed.

2005-01-23T15:27:00.000-05:00

And snowed. And snowed some more. I don’t have any pictures because I’m in sweats and don’t feel like putting shoes on. So there. What I can tell you is that the 2-foot-tall stone wall across the street is no longer visible. This was a good one. I just can’t believe that local TV stations are so happy to forgo all other programming to have people yap on about the fact that it’s snowy here in New England. From what they were saying over and over, Plymouth got hit really hard. I hope Melanie and her mister are ok and have a full supply of hot cocoa! Cuddle up and keep warm, kids!

So, last Sunday was my mom’s birthday and I took her to Patternworks to pick out some fancy shmancy stuff to get her stash going. She just started knitting again, so she’s stashless at the moment. That won’t last for long, not if I have anything to say about it. It turns out that my parents live just a half an hour away from Patternworks. This is dangerous news. They may see an increase in visits from now on. Jon, my dad, and my brother were also with us. Like at Christmas, my dad drove and we kids were in the back. The men did quite well in the store. Jon didn’t try to run away (he was securely fasted to the door with some lovely Rowan Plaid), my sister-in-law is a new knitter so my bro got her some stuff, and my dad thought it was pretty interesting and even picked out some Plymouth Encore for an impending scarf.

And then he said it. I was innocently looking at some Debbie Bliss something-or-other and my dad was purchasing his yarn at the front counter. Then, I kid you not, the following words came out of his mouth: “Do you have any kind of senior citizen discount?” ok, that’s not so bad, the guy has been waiting his whole life to be old enough for an occasional 10% discount. But then he laughed and said “Well, I guess pretty much everyone who knits is a senior citizen, huh?”

~gasp~

I immediately asked if he had just said what I thought he said and whether he was trying to get us kicked out. The friendly women at the front counter laughed good-naturedly, for which I was grateful. Sheesh. I mean, is Justine Bateman a senior citizen? Huh? Is Russell Crowe* popping Geritol by the handful?? Pffft.

But we did get some great stuff. My mom got some gorgeous bulky chenille in garnet (it’s dark red/pink/purple), a couple of skeins of Odyssey yarn in Sherbert with some fuzzy pink Berocco yarn to go with it, a fuzzy sheep tape measure, and some assorted notions (I love the notions!). I got some on-sale Koigu in deep reds, Eucalan wool wash, and Knitters Little Helper hand balm. I cannot express strongly enough how much you need this hand balm. Jennie introduced me to it, and it’s amazing. It smells good, it feels good. It. Is. Good.

Also, as promised, here is a picture of the finished shawl. It’s hard to photograph an entire shawl, so I did what I could. Note the local news is on in the background with the spiffy "BLIZZARD" graphic at the bottom.

And here are some pictures of my new snowy day project. It’s an as-of-yet unnamed needle felted bear. Cute, huh? I'm think he looks like a Bailey, but I'm not sure.

I got the kit from Marr Haven Wool Farm I really wanted the white one, but they were out of stock and won’t have more for another month. I think the tan one turned out pretty well, considering it’s my first try. This little bear has enough of my DNA in it to clone me some day. Those felting needles are sharp! I’m definitely going to make more of these. It took 4 or 5 hours from start to finish and I really liked the instant gratification after spending so much time on that lace shawl.

I decided to try making one after seeing the work done by Norm over at Kim’s blog. She makes amazing bears as well, but those are way too ambitious for me. I’m not a very good seamstress, but poking things with sharp objects is my kind of fun! Give it a try!

*yes, I know he doesn’t really knit, and I also know that Justine Bateman’s knitted underwear is a little impractical.

Well hello there. Nice to see you again.

2005-01-17T20:26:00.000-05:00

Hi. Remember me? I occasionally write things here. Yeah, yeah, I’ve been busy. But I’m here now and that’s what matters, right?

So how have you been?

Me? Oh, how sweet of you to ask. I’m good. Work has been really busy, you know how it is. I saw my darling Ms. Melanie on Saturday. As her blog would lead you to believe, I was 2 hours late because I was on a leisurely drive. My detour was more of a hellish descent into a dark spiral of frustration and shame. Anyone in Massachusetts can attest to the mystical properties of Interstates 93 and 95. Like the cables of a mighty Rogue, they intertwine playfully. They also can go North or South with nary a concern for the seaman’s compass. I was listening to Air America, simmering about the state of our great nation, and I missed magic portal where 93 continues being 93. I was immediately but imperceptibly transported to 95. I could regale you with the wonders which befell me, the sights I saw (sometimes more than once), the gigantic circles in which I drove for two hours trying to get my journey back on track. But I won’t. Just know that I teetered on that line between laughing and crying hysterically for the second hour.

I finally got to the coffee shop and was delighted to see that Melanie was still there. I figured she would have left by then, although I did call the coffee shop and had the guy at the counter tell her I’d be late. So very late. I did miss seeing Bendetta (who is an amazing knitter with a brand new bouncing baby blog – check her out!), she had to leave before I got there. I also missed seeing Elisa, Wendy, and Jennie, but only because they couldn’t make it at all. Melanie and I had a lovely time, we eventually went back to her place where we watched Garden State, which I wholly recommend.

In project news, my Tropical Shawl is finally done and I’m really happy with it! I just need to block it and I can send it to my friend’s mom in Florida. Pictures are forthcoming. I showed it to her when we visited in November and she thought it would be perfect for cool nights on the yearly cruise she and her husband take. I love the simple feather-and-fan pattern. It’s so simple, but it looks complicated and delicate.

I also got my yarn from Danette Taylor and it’s just as beautiful as I had hoped. The alpaca is thinner than the laceweight I used for the shawl. When I met Bookish Wendy a few weeks ago, she declared that I needed some chunky yarn to combat the laceweight. I know she’s right, but I must say that I’m rather fond of teeny, thin, lacey yarn. Unfortunately, it takes forever to knit up and I don’t have as much time to knit as I would like. I think I’ll go for something a little thicker for the next project. I could use a little instant gratification. In fact, I am. I started a scarf using the loopy mohair. You really have to pay attention, otherwise you end up knitting the loops instead of the stitches.

In the comments a post or two ago, Mayflwr asked what I was going to do with all that Geisha yarn I bought a while ago. She has some, too, and doesn’t have anything in mind for it. Well, me either, sister. I was originally going to use it with a vintage mohair sweater pattern, but the colors are a little too soft for a sweater I’d actually wear. The light blue and lilac look great together, though, so I may make a couple of long stripey, lacey scarves as mid-winter gifts. The yarn takes lace patterns really well, but it sucks to rip out because the fuzz gets all knotted up. I ended up tossing a lump of it away when I was wresting with the Ostrich Plume shawl (which I vow to do. At an undetermined point in the future.) I need to take a good, hard look at my stash and start putting patterns to all this yarn. I have a bunch, and yet I don’t have anything specific in mind for most of it. It reminds me of being a kid on summer vacation. You’re dying of boredom even though you’re surrounded with fun things to do. Then you end up doing the same old stuff every day. I need to gather it all up and take a retreat in the woods with it. I need to Be the Yarn.

On a side note, is anyone watching Trading Spouses? I occasionally catch it, and for some reason, it strikes a nerve in me. It’s like Good vs. Evil. Typically, the Evil is represented by the neat-freak and all the light shines on the lady who doesn’t always necessarily clean the bathroom all the time. Or ever. This is the show for me. It makes me feel like one of the good guys. Tonight's is especially good. One woman's house is a total wreck and her daughter has a fake eye which she needs very little prompting to take out for the amusement of others. The other mom is a compulsive neat freak who vacuums her house a few times a day and feels that hugging people crosses a boundary that she's not comfortable crossing. Guess who I love best?

My Husband is a Bona Fide Hottie!

2005-01-10T15:24:00.000-05:00

I knew it all along, but now it’s been confirmed! Look what just come in over the newswire!

“The Man-Along has come to an end and judgment was finally passed this weekend. Knit-o-Rama’s Master of Ceremonies, Drew, announced two winners in this contest devoted to knitted menswear. The entries included a dazzling array of gorgeous sweaters and handsome men, each one worthy of a prize. Decisions did not come easy, but eventually, they were made.

The first prize, awarded for Best Overall Sweater, went to April, a descendant of the late, great Elvis Presley. Her design was based on a sweater actually worn by the King himself. “ThankYuhVeryMuch”, April replied, as she accepted her award. “That’s alright, Mama”, quipped Drew. The audience pleaded for the Elvis jokes to cease before they got out of hand. Stitchy McYarnpants, a fellow contestant and self-professed Elvis fan, quietly slipped out of her blue suede shoes and later admitted she had planned on wearing a sequined jumpsuit, but was glad she didn’t. McYarnpants had no prior knowledge of the winner’s famous relation and planned on wearing the sequin-encrusted one-piece ‘just because’. April was duly rewarded with a copy of the book Men in Knits, #10 ebony needles and silk needle bag both from Lantern Moon. We look forward to April’s future endeavors in sweater-making.

Blog-watchers were on the edge of their seats as the second award was presented. The much coveted “Hottest Model” prize had been used for months to woo some contestants’ models into performing all manner of tasks. It is reported that the phrase “Most hot sweater models enjoy modeling other stuff. Now put on this Tropical Shawl.” was actually used in at least one instance. Until the announcement was made, it was anyone’s game. After much deliberation, the contest organizer relented and declared Jon McYarnpants the winner, officially recognizing him as “Hott”. According to Drew, his decision was influenced by his boyfriend Dan’s insistence that he would buy Jon a drink if he saw him in a bar. Sources close to us have confirmed that Jon would indeed accept the proposed drink and would most likely chat Dan up for the entire evening. Upon hearing of his victory, Mr. McYarnpants turned several shades of red and proclaimed “Wow. And they didn’t even see my butt!” Ms. McYarnpants added “He really does have a nice butt!” Jon has been very generously awarded with a manly gift certificate to Home Depot. His wife is trying to decide which of the contest entries she will attempt next for her Hot Husband.”

Besides his fantastic butt, here are some other reasons that I think Jon is Hot:

1. He has great eyes that go between green and blue, depending on what he’s wearing.

2. He has perfect eyebrows. I pay money to have hot wax dripped on my face, then ripped off to have eyebrows like he does.

3. He makes me laugh.

4. He’s a very talented artist. He draws and sculpts exceptionally well.

5. He knows a little something about seemingly everything. He’s my Go To guy for questions about outer space, ancient history, theology, current events, and generally knows how things work. Sometimes he even draws diagrams to help me understand certain mechanical workings.

6. He is not the least bit interested in sports.

7. He had a very religious upbringing and although he has no particular interest in practicing religion, he has a good working knowledge of the bible. If someone uses their supposed Christianity as a weapon, he can recall passages, psalms and Biblical events to prove them wrong.

8. He kisses me hello and goodbye every day.

9. If they are nearby, he also kisses the cats hello and goodbye. He also came up with the habit of leaving one cat in charge when we leave together. He announces who it is just before we close the door.

10. During this past holiday season, he wore the Manly sweater I made him every time we went someplace that he wanted to look “nice”. He proudly told people that I made it for him.

Button, button . . . who's got the button?

2005-01-02T17:11:00.000-05:00

Now that yet another year has been heaped upon us, I suppose I should resolve to do something, right? And since I’m in Blogland, one would imagine it should be something blog-related. I guess I could post more, and I really should make some buttons for this blog. But who would even notice if I did this stuff?

Apparently those knotty gals at JenLa would. Imagine that. Jen and La put together a Best of ’04 list and I’m amazed to be mentioned in two categories. They are “Blog We’d Like to Pressure for More Posting” and “Blog We’d Most Like to Get a Button”. So it seems that I may not be one of the “Best” of ’04, but perhaps the “Laziest”. Ok, ok, I can take a hint. Luckily, I was able to fulfill at least one of their wishes, and I didn’t even have to get off my lazy ass to do it! So there! I will make with the monkey-dancing for their amusement when I'm good an ready. And when I get a proper fez.

Here are some goofy buttons I made to use to link to my site. I’m assuming everyone knows the drill, but I’ll say it anyway. If you want to use one (thank you in advance), please, please, PLEASE save it to your own computer and upload it from there rather than hotlinking to it directly from here. (do the old Right Click, Save Picture As thing).

Man, I am totally susceptible to peer pressure. It’s amazing I haven’t joined a gang by now. Wait, are we knitters considered a gang?

(Please let me know if these are ok or if they’re too big or anything. I really didn’t know what I was doing when making them and for all I know they’re too wide to fit into a sidebar.)

Oh, I couldn't. Really. Ok, just one more.

2004-12-31T10:09:00.000-05:00

Well, diets of all kinds have been broken during this holiday season. And you know what? I don’t regret any of it. The Lindt candy, the piles of sugary, buttery side dishes, the enormous slices chocolate cream pie, the wads of cash lost at Foxwoods in a Christmas gambling frenzy, and the yarn – oh the sweet, sweet yarn. Who knew that lil’ Jesus being born would be a great excuse for going hog wild and splurging with reckless abandon? His folks really should have gotten into the spirit by springing for a nicer hotel and worried about the bills later. There’s always room at the inn if you’ve got a little something extra for the front desk, know what I mean?

I hope a good holiday was had by all. Ours was pretty darned fantastic. Friday night, I made a gorgeous drunken rib eye roast – rare (I soaked it in red wine for a few hours and it was great). Sides included honeyed peas with walnuts, butternut squash sozzled in butter and brown sugar, mashed potatoes whipped with butter and cream, green bean casseroled with fried onions, Pillsbury out-of-the-tube biscuits and crescent rolls, and fresh cranberry-orange relish with enough sugar in it to qualify as cranberry-orange candy. I think there was a salad, too. Poor, neglected salad.

Saturday, we headed to Foxwoods and hit the slot machines pretty hard. Unfortunately, they hit back. Jon was doing fairly well (meaning the hole he was digging was a bit more shallow than mine), but then I took some of his money and gave it back to the nice machine. When we got there, my parents went their way, and we kids went ours. When it was time for dinner, we met them by the giant fake ice sculpture of the Native American guy squatting precariously in a loin cloth. The buffet was too crowded, so we opted for a meal in one of the many restaurants. It was good, I had fresh linguine with clams in a white wine sauce.

My dad drove his giant old man car because the five of us fit more comfortably in there. He and my mom were in front while Jon, Charlene and I sat in back. Somehow I got stuck on the hump in the middle both ways. It was very odd sitting back there. I rarely ever sit in a back seat of a car any more. Even though the three of us are home-owning, career-having, fully-grown adults in our mid-thirties, sitting back there on a long car trip with Christmas carols playing made me feel like a little kid. I actually felt like I was being cared for, had no responsibilities and no say in how the day went. I guess at that point it was true. It felt good and strange at the same time. The helplessness of childhood is both liberating and suffocating. Of course, we didn’t help our position on the way home by giggling furiously back there. We were all tired and getting punchy. My dad couldn’t find the highway and had just about had it with us. You would think that being home-owning, career-having, fully-grown adults in our mid-thirties, we would be sensitive to his dilemma, having been there ourselves many a time. But no, we kept giggling (I’m telling you, it’s a nervous reaction. When people are upset, it makes me nervous and I start laughing). My father was always very patient with us and rarely loses his temper, but he hates getting lost and it totally unnerves him.

I did make it up to him by sharing the lovely apples and pears that came in the Harry and David Tower of Treats my boss (er, my boss’s wife, actually) sent me. Yummmm! I have forbidden Jon to eat the chocolates or baklava when I’m not around. He has been warned.

And now, for the unveiling of my new diet-busting yarn purchase. It’s from Danette Taylor, who does exceptional things with color. As much as I complain about variegated (why can’t I spell that the first time around yet?) yarn, hers colorways make me forget all about it. The Tropical Shawl I’m making is from her yarn and I love the way it’s coming out.

Please note that I haven't received this yarn yet, so I will be gushing about it further when it arrives. The photos are the ones Danette provided on eBay.

May I present, for your viewing pleasure:

Loopy Mohair in colorway “Wacky” (I just got one skein – enough for a scarf to liven up the winter doldrums)

Superwash Merino in colorway “Cirque” (this will become a baby something-or-other for a coworker with a bun in the oven. 700 yds should be good for a baby blanket, right?)

Fingering Weight Alpaca in colorway “Azaleas” (could you just faint from how pretty this is?)

~sigh~ It’s just so beautiful. *wipes single tear from eye*

Uuughhhch

2004-12-29T11:13:00.000-05:00

This was a post I started yesterday, but never actually finished. The death toll was at 44,000.

The recent earthquake and resulting chaos is mind-boggling. I mean, a tsunami? That’s the stuff that ancient myths are made of. I’m having a hard time imagining how large of a crowd 44,000 people is, and that’s the death toll so far.

I did some googling to get an idea of how many people 44,000 is. It’s a hell of a lot. (search for 44,000 on these pages if you don’t see it right away)

It’s how many people showed up at a George W. Bush rally in Arizona
It’s how many people voted early in Georgia
It’s how many seats planned for the new Fenway Park stadium in Boston
It’s how many seats are in the new Comisky Park stadium in Chicago
It’s how many people went to see Bruce Springsteen in Finland
It’s how many NSync tickets went on sale in El Paso
It’s how many people die in highway accidents in a year
It’s how many people were expected to pass through Syndey’s airport on their way home from the Olympics
It’s how many people live in the city of San Luis Obispo, California
It’s how many people live in the city of Auburn, Alabama
It’s how many students there are in the Calgary Catholic School district
It’s how many students enrolled in Michigan State University
It’s how many students enrolled in Texas A&M

The death toll as of this morning is at 76,700 and I haven’t the heart to even try to fathom it. I want to say “How awful” or “It’s so tragic”, but words like awful and tragic don’t begin to describe the jaw-dropping magnitude. I think this is one of those times when only a visceral reaction accompanied by some indescribable noise from the back of your throat will suffice. It makes one acutely aware that in the end, despite borders and nations and ideologies, we’re all earthlings and live on this rock together. We see the same stars, the same moon, we breathe the same air, and are all subject to our planet’s shifting, shaping, rumbling, moving and changing. It’s downright humbling to know that we live on the Earth’s back on its terms.

Here is a list of organizations accepting monetary donations that I found on CNN’s website. Please do what you can to help your fellow earthlings.

The Museum of Kitschy Stitches, Vol. IV - A Very Special MOKS: The Christmas Craptacular!

2004-12-20T13:04:00.000-05:00

This feature has moved! Click here to go to it's new location.

Christmas To Do List!

2004-12-17T13:21:00.000-05:00

It’s Christmastime and everyone’s abuzz in Blogland. There’s a distinct air of joyful stress. Or is it stressful joy? Either way, needles are flying, cookies are baking, hair is being torn out at the root. In the spirit of the season, here is my Christmas To Do list. Turns out I like making lists!

1. Adhere to marriage pact - avoid purchasing gift for Jon.

2. Adhere to friends and immediate family pact - avoid purchasing gift for friends and immediate family.

3. Purchase gifts for in-laws.

4. Make pact with in-laws for next year and all others.

5. Recall past years when decorations were still up in April.

6. Finish following calculation: 4 Cats + 1 Christmas Tree = ?

7. Take another look at Dot’s Santa.

8. Joyfully avoid decorating for the holidays.

9. Think wistfully about how nice it would be to knit gifts from the heart for loved ones.

10. Selfishly decide what to make for myself with All That Yarn.

11. Pat self on back for getting everyone on board for this year’s Christmas plans - ditching the whole fa-la-la thing altogether and heading to Foxwoods.

12. Think about what to have for Christmas dinner at the casino’s buffet.

13. Work on having Scroogey children so I never have to return to Christmas Stressland.

Woo! Garage Sale!

2004-12-13T15:28:00.000-05:00

This just in! There is some new stuff in the garage sale section at Webs! Go nuts!

2004-12-12T16:12:00.000-05:00

Sweet Jebus, I’m back from a week in Florida and I can actually feel the bags under my eyes dragging the rest of my face down with them. The first workday after a week of vacation is the next best thing to dementia. I’m confused, disoriented, lethargic, cranky, and I keep imagining everyone dressed up in a costume indicative of their country of origin. One would think that last part has something to do with being at Epcot, but I admit I’ve always imagined this.

This was Charlene and my 8th (I think) yearly trip to Florida to visit her parents. It has been dubbed “The Weeklong Orgy of Eating and Relaxing” and by God, we stick to it. Her parents’ generosity is unmatched and I feel like a spoiled child when we’re there. They moved to Fort Myers when they “retired”, but they both still work. Her dad works at a car rental place and gets us a car every year. This year it was a convertible PT Cruiser with a turbo engine. It kicked a serious amount of ass. Her mom works at a pool company and every year we look forward to our hunk-of-the-month calendar. This year’s is much less homo-erotic and there’s not one banana-hammock in the bunch! She’s a Master Organizer and has meals planned a month before we get there. I like to think she finds my absent-mindedness endearing, but it’s probably more like bemused disgust with a sprinkle of pity. They’re like a spare set of parents that never yell at me, they’re terrific!

The weather was perfect, we did a little kayaking and wandering at Myakka River State Park in Sarasota, lots of shopping at the outlets in Fort Myers, and spent two days in Disneyworld. Did you know that two Disneyworld days are equal to four human days? As it turns out, the week we went is the slowest of the year. We didn’t have to wait for any rides or shows for more than 10 minutes. If you’re going to go, do it after Thanksgiving and before Christmas. Trust me. On the first day, we visited Magic Kingdom, where doors don’t open automatically. Nope. They open automagically. We’re incorporating this idea into our lives and now I’m a Software Programagician and Charlene works in a Biomagical Lab. Go on, Disnify your job, it’s fun! What is YOUR magical vocation? We also went to Epcot, a wondrous land of irritated grown-ups and bored kids. OK, it wasn’t that bad, but after the Kingdom’s assault on the senses, Epcot is a deprivation tank. This was a welcome change because the night before, we went to the Hoop Dee Doo Musical Review where the jokes are corny, the food is plentiful, the butter has sugar in it (yes! Sugared butter!), and the sangria flows freely. It was fun and we put the all-you-can-drink policy to the test. By the next morning, “Canada” was about as much ride as I could handle, so it worked out well. On our second night, we ventured out of Disney territory and saw The Magnetic Fields at Rollins College in a suburb of Orlando. Having acclimated to the Way of Walt, it was jarring to see this band. They mostly sing songs about unrequited love. And not happy ones, either. No siree, these guys are bummed out about it. Even the ones about requited love aren’t all that chipper. I couldn’t stop thinking that if they threw in a sassy redhead and a wacky fat guy, they’d have Disney’s Boo Hoo Musical Review. This thought amused me throughout the show, even when the morose kid next to me sang every word along with the band, complete with misery-laden inflections and a head so full of despair that he could barely lift it. It was a good show.

After just two days in the World, I found myself needing to be entertained constantly. If someone wasn’t making jazz-hands, I felt despondent. If no one broke out in rapturous and infantile song, my mood was sour. Why weren’t the people at the supermarket as happy to serve me as the Disney talent? Where were all the bizarre wigs and polyester dance pants I had grown to rely on? Is life outside of Disney’s warm, wacky womb really a life at all? Actually, the whole time I was there, I felt like I was peering into a world I knew nothing about. There is a whole subculture of people who really freaking love Disney. Were you aware of something called Pin Trading that works like the stock market? For me, this trip was almost anthropological. I would love to read a scientific analysis on the society that exists within Disney, its ardent visitors who seem like they really need someone in the world to be nice to them, its workers with plastic smiles on their faces and scowls in their eyes, throngs of kids who probably have never seen a Mickey Mouse cartoon and still want to buy all kinds of crap from him. I felt like Jane Goodall for a while there. Also, Space Mountain is totally cool!

Once I have my pictures deveopled, I will add them to this post. It may be a while, so don't hold you collective breath.

I didn’t get much knitting done while I was vacationing, but on the plane ride there and back, I worked on what I’m calling the Tropical Shawl. It’s got nice, fruity colors in laceweight Merino wool. It’s for Charlene’s mother and I have no idea why I thought there was even a remote possibility I could finish it by this trip. Sometimes I wonder about my cognitive capacity. I have absolutely no sense of perspective when it comes to time management. (by the way, I don’t usually intend to include a cat when I photograph a Work in Progress, but if you look at something with interest for more than 10 seconds, one of them is bound by feline law to come over to inspect and possibly sit on it.)

And here is the blasted blue shawl that I’ve ripped back a number of times. This is maybe its 5th or 6th incarnation. It’s the same pattern as the Tropical Shawl. The color variegation looks terrible, no matter what I do with it. Here’s what it looked like last night. See how the light bits look like little bugs have landed? But don’t get attached because it’s already been returned to its previous life as two balls of yarn. That’s right, I ripped it out. Again. I’m trying one more pattern with it, and if that doesn’t work, it’s getting made into a cat bed for Dot. You heard me! I’m giving it to the beast to do with it as she pleases. It will probably look better in the litter box when she’s done with it anyway. Harrumph.

Thanks for all the kind and cool comments about my 100 list. I was a little weirded out by doing it, but I’m glad some people enjoyed it. I think the pictures really helped. My dad was a total shutterbug when we were kids and he had a good eye. He’s taken some amazing pictures. Most of them are slides and every Christmas, we do a little slideshow. I love the sound of the remote clicking to the next one. One of my favorite things about my dad’s style is how he’s not afraid to get really close up. The photo of my brother with his front teeth missing is one of my favorites. Dad actually documented that whole day, from the time the teeth were loose with photos of various aunts looking into his mouth, to a picture of my mom actually reaching in there as he stood helpless and shivering in his little bathing suit, to him screaming at the loss of his precious wiggly teeth with aforementioned aunts laughing in the background. I’m sure I was somewhere in the yard giggling and hiding from the gaggle of tooth-hungry fiends. And yes, we actually wore those face-covering hats in the winter. It was cold and they were warm. What can I say, it was New Hampshire and we were part of the snowmobile nation.

Me, me, me! It's all about ME!

2004-12-02T16:39:00.000-05:00

Ok ok, I did it. Like everyone else in Blogland, I made a List. It was really tedious, but kind of fun in a “Hey, look at me!” kind of way. I guess I was feeling sentimental after the Pixies reunion show last night, so I figured a little self-exploration was in order. The Pixies, by the way, were great. Kim Deal kicks ass in 9 different directions. The crowd was an interesting mix of 30-somethings who are just a bit worse for the wear, and a younger folks who look like we 30-somethings used to before said wear. The show was at the Tsongas Arena in Lowell and was not the best venue. It was weird enough when they made everyone throw their cigarettes and lighters into the trash, but what really got me was that they herded everyone out through one main exit. They actually blocked the other exits! It was a major accident waiting to happen. If there had been a fire, it would have been a bad scene. Wow. I sound like someone’s mother. Anyhoo, the show got me thinking about where I was when I was listening to the Pixies music for the first time and where I am now. I’ve come a long way, baby.

Alright, here’s my list. I won’t be offended if you only slog your way through the first handful. This was mostly an exercise for me, but I might as well share. I threw some pictures in here and there to keep it interesting.

1. I have far exceded my own expectations for myself. This is mainly because I don't usually set expectations. But I'm quite happy with the life I've carved out for myself.

2. I was born and bred in Manchester, NH.

3. I was a cute kid.

4. My parents are still married.

5. I have a brother who is two years older than me.

6. My brother and I had a love/hate relationship from day one. We were constantly fighting and antagonizing each other, and yet we always wanted to be together. We were partners in crime. I love him to smithereens.

7. I moved out of the house when I was 17.

8. I didn’t really want to go to college and only applied to one place.

9. I went to Mass College of Art for photography.

10. My brother also went there.

11. My husband also went there.

12. I dropped out after two years because for me, nothing sucks the joy out of
art like dissecting it.

13. The most fulfilling job I ever had was working with teens who had developmental and behavioral disorders. It was both physically and emotionally exhausting, but it felt really good. I learned way more from them than they did from me. I don’t know how to change a baby’s diaper, but I do know how to change a 17-year-old’s. It was life-altering, humbling, grounding, aggrivating, excruciating, frightening, enlightening, shocking, amazing. When I really start to get down, I remind myself that as long as I can take care of my own bathroom needs, I’m doing ok. It’s also nice to know that no one at my present job is going to bite me. At least not without provocation.

14. I am now a programmer at a software company.

15. I got my start as a programmer when I was a bored receptionist. I taught myself how to use a couple of different pieces of software and the Director of Technology asked if I was interested in learning some programming skills. I said yes and have worked for him at three different jobs. I am one of four founding members in the company he started two years ago. I am very lucky.

16. I am living proof that you can get ahead if you are willing to go above and beyond the call of duty, even without them fancy learnin' papers.

17. I own a 3-family house with my brother and my best friend. Jon and I live on the third floor, my friend is on the second, my brother and his wife are on the first.

18. I have 4 cats, Chloe, Dot, Chi-Chi, and Mike. I am allergic to cats and have to take 3 kinds of allergy and asthsma medicines daily so I can live with them.

19. I used to work at a costume shop.

20. When I was little, there was a small plaque hanging at the end of the hallway in our house. On it was a sad-looking white dog (Bijon Frise, maybe?) and an “inspirational” saying. I looked at it every day for years. It became something of a mantra and very well could have made me the person I am today. It said “Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.” Umm, thanks?

21. I have a hard time saying things simply and tend to get verbose and anecdotalize everything until suddenly I can’t just list something, it has to become a long, involved story.

22. I am an eBay junkie. I have been clean on and off for the last 7 years. Since I began knitting, I have fallen off the wagon. Hard.

23. I laugh inappropriately when I’m nervous.

24. I hate March. I think it’s nature’s way of toying with humans. It tricks you into thinking spring is right around the corner, that tomorrow could be warm, that you will soon be able to feel your finger and toes. And every year I fall for it. Then we get hit with the coldest, nastiest weather of the season. Lousy Smarch weather.

25. I love the Simpsons.

26. I hate March so much that I scheduled our wedding in March so we could have something to look forward to and use it as an excuse to get away for a week.

27. Jon and I were married in a nightclub/bowling alley.

28. I got my wedding dress from eBay. It’s a bright red Hawaiian print halter dress from the 1940’s.

29. Jon and about 95% of our guests also wore Hawaiian prints. My dad’s shirt matched my mom’s muu muu.

30. When I was in grammar school, I used to lend my brother my allowance and charge him exhorbedent amounts of interest. My father is still proud of that.

31. In high school, I used to collect bottle caps from the wine coolers he and his friends drank (it was the 80’s, Bartyles and James were kings among teens). I hid them, moving them often to thwart snoopers. When I was in need of a chore or just wanted to be amused, I would shake the caps in my cupped hands menacingly and force my brother to do my bidding.

32. I save goofy sentimental things almost to the point of mental illness. Among many things, I have the first book report I ever did (on Paddington Bear), tests and workbooks from throughout grammar school, letters from Pen Pals I don’t even remember having, the bill from the mechanic when I crashed my mom’s car in high school, pieces of a color theory project from art school that I never finished, just about every ticket to every concert I’ve ever gone to, name tags from every job where I had to wear a name tag, and a small mass of circles made out of masking tape that my brother stuck to our cat, Penelope, when he was about 14. He said he was making her a leopard. After removing them from the poor beast, I tucked them away to used as blackmail at a later date. They still have her fur on them and I think about having her cloned every once in a while.

33. My brother and I can still get each other going and my mom still yells at us to behave ourselves at holidays.

34. I used to have a 1976 Dodge dart named Flamey. She was black with flames.

35. As a child, I was terrified of dogs. I’m not any more, but if I see a large dog running nearby, I do get a little panicked.

36. I was, am, and always will be afraid of clowns.

37. I worked for a party clown for a few years. She understood my Coulrophobia and kept her distance when she was in her makeup.

38. My favorite costumes to wear to kid’s parties were the cowgirl and pirate’s wench.

39. My least favorite was Christmas Elf. It came with an implied sense of cheer. My Elf name was “Surly”. Luckily, no one ever asked. David Sedaris’ “Santaland Diaries” holds a special place in my heart.

40. I can make simple balloon animals and have my own face-painting kit. I do a really good tiger.

41. If I were stranded on a desert island with only on CD, it would be “The Heart of Saturday Night” by Tom Waits. Then I would make a raft out of coconuts and monkey pelt so I could sail somewhere to get the rest of his CDs. I’d sail right back, I promise.

42. I think “Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars” is one of the best albums ever. Every song is the best song on the record.

43. Prince is partially responsible for my marriage.

44. Music is really important to me and often a song can bring me right back to a specific point in time. I could make a 100 list of music way easier than I could about myself.

45. I would give almost anything to spend the day going to yard sales with John Waters.

46. One of my all-time favorite movies is “The Shawshank Redemption”.

47. I’m one of those people who is always using quotes from movies in everyday conversation.

48. Mystery Science Theater 3000 is one of the most brilliant things I’ve ever encountered.

49. I love me some Johnny Depp (referred to by my brother and I as “the Deppster”). I have since the first time I saw “21 Jump Street”.

50. My friend Charlene and I drove across the country and camped along the way.

51. On this trip I learned that in some desert campgrounds, they use sprinklers to keep little trees near the sites alive. I only learned this after I had leapt onto the picnic table and was trying to think of a way to jump onto the car and get in from the roof. Sprinklers sound remarkably like rattlesnakes, especially in the middle of the night at the Homolovi Ruins State Park. I wish I had a picture of the look on Charlene’s face when she finally convinced me that the hoses weren’t going to strike.

52. Charlene and I also kayaked through mangrove tunnels in the Florida Everglades on a self guided tour (aka. Just the two of us and a map in the middle of a swamp with mosquitos, spiders, snakes and alligators). It took us four hours and by the end of it, we felt like we had been through the jungles of Viet Nam. One day I will recount this story. Perhaps when I get back from Florida next week and we’ve had a much less harrowing adventure at Disney’s Hoop Dee Doo Revue.

53. On yet another camping trip with Charlene, this time in Joshua Tree National Park,
it was very cold when we went to sleep. We layered our clothes, zipped up our sleeping bags, and hunkered down in our tent. By the time morning came and the sun was up, we were baking like burritos. It was just so hot! Charlene woke up first, realized how hot it was, and sort of assumed for a moment that I was dead. From the heat. She woke me up and we couldn’t stop laughing because it was just so hot. I’m laughing as I type this, it was just that hot. We wrestled oursleves out of our sleeping bags and started tearing off our layers. She finally had the idea to open the tent flap. All the while, we’re laughing hysterically and repeating “It’s so HOT!” over and over. This was at least 10 years ago and to this day, I can look at Charlene and say, completely out of the blue, “God, it was just so hot.” and we’ll both start giggling uncontrollably.

54. Charlene and I are just as close as if we were sisters. She will always be my best friend. It says so on the 30-year mortgage we took out together.

55. I think she and I should write a travel guide.

56. The first page of that travel guide will say “When camping in the desert, we have learned that it is wise to take more than Pringles, wine, and pot.”

57. On our first date, I showed Jon how to make a joint by emptying a cigarette and carefully packing the weed in.

58. I quit smoking shortly after we started dating. He still feels kind of ripped off. He thought he was getting a wild and crazy party girl.

59. I think marijuana should be legalized and regulated in a similar way that alcohol is.

60. I love mid-century antiques. My kitchen is decorated with mostly stuff from the 40’s, even the wallpaper (thank you eBay!).

61. I have a tattoo and I don’t really like it. I want to get it redesigned. It’s barbed wire. I was an angry 20-year-old.

62. I can’t believe anyone is still reading this.

63. Jon and I would like to have a kid or two some day.

64. We like Jake for a boy’s name, and Lela for a girl. Jake and Lela.

65. My parents’ names are Jack and Stella. I didn’t notice the similarities in our potential kids name to theirs for a while.

66. We have agreed that if we don’t have kids, we’re going to train a helper monkey. Neither of us is sure if we’re kidding or not.

67. I love monkeys. I also just love the word “monkey”.

68. I’ve always considered myself fairly mature.

69. hee hee . . . 69!

70. When I’m really upset, it’s best to ignore me and I’ll get over it.

71. I use way too much ketchup.

72. I like Oprah. She seems really nice.

73. When I was little, Mickey Dolenz was my favorite Monkee. As I matured, I switched to Mike Nesmith.

74. My bologna has a first name. It’s O-s-c-a-r.

75. I won the smile contest on the Uncle Gus show (a local kid’s show in my hometown) when I was about 7 or 8. I won a tube of toothpaste with Tweety Bird on it. The kid who named all the states got a talking View Master. Figures the one time I used my looks to get something, the guy with the brains got the good stuff.

76. I get lost or take wrong turns while driving all the time. Like 75% of the
time. Well, maybe not that much, but a lot. Seriously.

77. I am not a punctual person and I know it’s rude and I try to be on time, but my internal clock is all screwy and I can’t help it. I’m sorry.

78. My memory is awful and although I can remember things from my childhood, I barely have any recollection of last week. Often I will forget something moments after I am told.

79. If I am in a meeting for more than 15 minutes, assume that I am no longer able to pay attention. I have been in one-to-one meetings with bosses where my mind is comsumed with this inner dialogue: “I need to pay attention. Pay attention! I really should be listening. This is bad, why can’t I pay attention? I’m going to be screwed, I have no idea what this person is saying. What did he just say? Can he tell I have no idea what he’s saying? Pay attention.” One would think I could put all that energy into paying attention rather than distracting myself by telling myself to pay attention, wouldn’t you? Nope.

80. I can do fine motor stuff (knitting, sculpting, other crafty stuff) for hours on end and not lose focus (or get up to got to the bathroom).

81. I am very non-confrontational and I like it that way.

82. My favorite food is sushi. Second is Indian.

83. My least favorite food is anything made with goat’s milk.

84. The best cake I ever made used a cake mold shaped like a big dress and a Joey Lawrence doll.

85. For Christmas last year, I made a Buche de Noel, complete with meringue mushrooms. Jon made a squirrel out of almond paste to top it off.

86. As stressful as it is, I love holiday cooking.

87. I lived with my brother in Los Angeles for about a year in the early 90’s. I worked at a comedy club (I’ve handed paychecks to Drew Carey and Jimmy Walker, among others)

88. If my friends here had been out there with me, I probably would not have moved back so soon. There’s a lot of fun to be had there if you’re in the right headspace. Unfortunately, I wasn’t. I overlooked a lot of good opportunities in LA LA Land.

89. I don’t really have a any solid goals for the future and it kind of worries me. Then I remember that I never have and things worked out pretty well on their own.

90. I’m agnostic, but still feel occasional pangs of superstition and guilt that are left over from my Catholic upbringing.

91. My brother and I were eventually not allowed to sit together in church because we were too disruptive.

92. From looking at my list, my brother figures very heavily in how I define myself. I don’t consider this a bad thing as I think he’s very cool.

93. I like to read directions before I proceed.

94. Mr. Winkle
makes me squeal like a little girl. If loving Mr. Winkle is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

95. I love super dark chocolate. I prefer dry and bitter to creamy and sweet.

96. I love pop culture and the irony and ridiculouslness within.

97. Humor is vital to my existence.

98. I firmly believe that things are as they are meant to be. Sometimes. Sort of. Ok, change that “firmly believe that” to “I wonder if”.

99. I do not have any firm philosopical, theological, or supernatural theories. One day I think one thing, the next it’s something different. I kind of a fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants kind of gal most times and that’s cool. Whatever. As long as no one is trying to impose their beliefs on me, I’m fine.

100. I can really go on and on about myself, huh?

WiP it, WiP it good!

2004-11-30T13:57:00.000-05:00

Oh my, look at all the cobwebs in here. And the dust bunnies are multiplying like, well . . . bunnies. Let’s just open some windows and get some fresh text in here.

Firstly, I would like to declare “Mission Accomplished!” I got my mom knitting again! I though I was going to have to lure her back with wacky novelty yarn or something chunky, but do you know what it took? Baby camel. 100% One Hump Baby Camel, to be exact. I was hanging with my peeps (ok, I was chatting with relatives at my brother’s) at Thanksgiving, and all of a sudden my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, her mom, and I were knitting. It was an impromtu Stitch n Bitch! I looked at my mom, her eyebrow went up as she was spying my alpaca scarf and I knew I had her. So I dragged her up to my apartment (I live upstairs from my brother) and made her go through my stash. Initially she had settled on some GGH Samoa. Nice stuff, a very soft cotton/poly blend in a burnt orange. Then, as I was showing her how the swift and winder worked, I remebered another stash box behind the couch (I’m like a squirrel, there’s yarn tucked all over the place). “I have something very special.” I told her. “Oh?” she said. And BOOYA! The baby camel come out and the Samoa went back in. It’s so delicate, you can tear it apart with barely any effort. She decided to make a ribbed scarf and although she hasn’t picked up a pair of knitting needles in over 5 years, she immediately remebered how to do it. By the time she left, she had a couple of inches done and it looked fantastic. Needless to say, she’s hooked and I’m going to have to do a little stash enhancement for her. Wheee! Time for a mother/daughter day at Patternworks.

On to WiPping it. Normally, I’m a one-project kind of gal. I like to start and finish something before digging into something else. If I don’t, I tend to get sidetracked and never get anything finished. Multi-tasking is just not my bag, baby. BUT, last Saturday, I had three things going at once. An alpaca scarf for my friend’s birthday, a shell and wave shawl, and another shell and wave shawl (I like the first one so much, I started another with some lace weight I had). The scarf was a boring-to-knit 2x2 rib and I cursed it as the fun, fun lace pattern sat in the knitting bag. Now that I know how to do Yarn Overs the right way (deceptively simple – just bring the yarn forward and knit the damned thing. Voila, a hole. It’s one of those things you do accidentally all the time), I just wanted to YO my tail off.

The scarf is now finished and looks very handsome on my friend (you’ll have to take my word for it because I forgot to take a picture). I’ll add pictures of the shawls later. The veriagated yarn actually looks ok and I feel guilty for saying such nasty things about it. I’m hoping to have one finished next week. It’s a terrible ruse and I know it never will be, but I like my little fantasy world where I get stuff done in a timely fashion. It’s for my friend Charlene’s mother. We’re visiting her parents in Florida next week and I wanted to have it done. The other needs to be done by Christmas because the woman it’s for is heading back to India in January.

I’m loving this lace knitting thing. I got Folk Shawls by Cheryl Oberle and there are some beautiful things in there. And so my list grows. I am also inspired by Norma’s bead-handled Sophie. It never occured to me to use a beaded handle, but now I must.

Lastly, the good news is that I’ve stuck to my yarn diet and haven’t bought anything since I went to Fiber Loft’s sale with Melanie. Good Stitchy. Goooood. The bad news is that I haven’t stuck to my food diet and I have to wear summer clothes in Florida next week! Eeek! Fat, Stitchy. Faaaaat. Time for the supermodel diet of coffee and cigarettes! I don’t smoke, so I’ll just have extra coffee. And I’m going to have to take a weed wacker to these legs! Winter body in summer clothes is always a nightmare. But I think I’m going to treat myself to one of these babies. We’re probably going to do some bike-riding in Florida and I hate lumbering around in bike shorts (especially when they’re padded). Charlene already has the one in the Cherry Blossom pattern (very pretty), so I think I’ll go with Puccina. Or Bali Blue. It’s very cute and looks like a regular skirt but has built-in padded shorts, so you can walk around without feeling dorky in your skin-tight, wedgie-causing, crotch-gathering shorts. Woo!

Attention Fellow Knitters

2004-11-19T17:05:00.000-05:00

We interrupt your regularly schedule blogsurf to bring you this important message.

Stitchy McYarnpants is an idiot. Over the past two weeks, complaints and unrest about a lace shawl have been heard throughout the region. It is rumored that there have been repeated flare-ups of violent frogging of said shawl. Since the last ripping incident, McYarnpants has considered sanctions against the shawl and has been protesting it's completion.

Our sources are now reporting that McYarnpants, an admittedly new-ish knitter, has been performing “Yarn Overs” (YOs) incorrectly. The lace pattern in question relies heavily on Yarn Overs being done properly, so this mistake was a catastrophic one. The repercussions of this information are not completely known right now, but we assure you that the results she bemoaned had less to do with the yarn and everything to do her incompetence. Though she could not be reached for comment, we believe Stitchy McYarnpants will be restarting the project with a renewed hope that it will be completed by year’s end.

We will now return you to the web.

Thank you.

Free at Last!

2004-11-16T18:29:00.000-05:00

I’ve done it! I’ve broken free of my shackles! Ratchet and Clank had been beaten and I can get back to my prior preoccupation of knitting. Woo-hoo!

Thanks for all the great feedback on the MOKS. Once again, I’m flattered and delighted that people find it amusing. Also, you guys had Jon blushing and grinning up a storm with all your compliments on him in his new sweater. He is indeed adorable, especially when he’s blushing and grinning. I decided I liked the second picture, too. Something about the t-shirt sticking out is so cute. I hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t wearing a watch in the Sear pose until someone mentioned it. That makes it even better!

As it turns out, he really does like the sweater and has worn it a couple of times already. The only trouble is that he’s not so good at putting his clothes away and this is a Very Bad Thing* in our house. When he took it off one night, I asked if he put it somewhere safe from Dot’s Gaping Maw of Doom. He said yes. Minutes later, I found it on the bed. THE BED, people! He may as well have left it as a garnish on a silver platter of tuna with catnip sprinkled on it!! The next time he wore it, he put it in the drawer. Sort of. He left the arm hanging out! This simply won’t do. I’ll just have to do sweater recon whenever he wears it. War is hell.

So now that the sweater is done, I’m working on the Ostrich Plume Shawl, only the yarn I bought for it just didn’t work out. It’s weirdly variegated (the color changes every couple of inches) and looked like total crap. The pattern got completely lost in the muck and the individual stitches looked like little bugs. I knitted and ripped it out three times with three different sized needles and it just ain’t hap’nin’. I switched to using the Geisha I got a while ago and it’s better, but I made the mistake of trying to socialize while I worked from a chart. Bad news. So I had to rip out a few rows and it’s really fuzzy yarn, so you know how that story goes. Luckily I was in public when I did it, so no one was injured and what’s left of the shawl didn’t get flung, shredded, set afire, or stuffed into the litter box.

So the shawl is on hold until my murderous rage subsides. I do have some really pretty laceweight wool, but again, it varie-freaking-gated. Why do I always buy it? I always end up hating it! See Yarn Harlot’s post for more on this subject. She has great timing and saved me the trouble of expressing fustration myself. I owe her one. Perhaps I could pay her back with this lovely laceweight yarn I have . . .

To take my mind off the shawl, I started an alpaca scarf for my friend’s birthday later this month. I have ripped it out three or four times now. First the needle was too big, then the 1x1 rib didn’t look right, then I decided to try a cable and it looked lousy with the yarn (not variegated, but three different colors stranded together – again, I ask you – WHY??) and now I’m just doing a 2x2 rib and to hell with it. It’s actually looking pretty good, though I don’t know if it’s wide enough. Wait. Let me rephrase that. I don’t care if it’s wide enough. I’m just going to make it really long and that will compensate, right? (insert penis joke here) (insert joke about inserting penis joke here)

Well, at least I’m done with that video game, right?

*I just noticed that Blogger is acting funny and this link is not working right. If you have trouble, it's the entry from 9/22, you can find it in the archives to the right. If you don't know about Dot, this will help explain my distress about the sweater being left out.

The Museum of Kitschy Stitches, Vol. III - Emasculation Nation: Menswear That Makes Men Swear

2004-11-11T11:03:00.000-05:00

This feature has moved! Click here to go to it's new location.

Heeeeeere's Stitchy!

2004-11-10T01:26:00.000-05:00

Phew! A whole week has gone by and I have no idea where it went. Well, that’s not entirely true. I had Post Election Stress Disorder for a day or two, but got over that. Thanks for all the comments to the last post. It was a crazy few days but all we can do is move forward. And a special thanks to KayTee for being hip to the idea of agreeing to disagree. I agree. Hey, lookit that, we agree! I’m touched that you were concerned. However, I haven’t been away because I’m depressed, mostly I’ve been away because I’m obsessed.

That’s right, I’ll come clean and admit that I’ve been staying up way past my bedtime, ignoring my wifely responsibilities, and even shunning the affection of the cats. My eyes are bloodshot, I’m twitchy, I haven’t had a home-cooked meal in days, and I’m getting to the uncomfortable underwear at the bottom of the drawer because laundry is just not that important to me. Not anymore. For you see, I have replaced most social contact with Ratchet and Clank. For those of you in the know (and it looks like there are a few of you based on some comments I received a couple of posts ago), you are no doubt in the same mess I am. You’re dreaming of things exploding and you want to smash everything you see with a wrench to see if bolts come out. For those of you not in the know, well, it’s hard to explain. Ratchet and Clank is a game for the Playstation2. It stars a cute fox-like creature and his robot sidekick, whom he wears as a backpack. There are all sorts of crazy weapons (including one that changes enemies into sweet little grazing sheep!), and there are funny clips telling the story as you go. The actual name of the game is “Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal”, so it’s pretty cheeky (har har). What’s hard to explain is why I’m so powerless against this it. There are other similar games (“Jak and Daxter”, for instance), and I’ve played them, but they just don’t have the same soul-sucking je ne sais quoi. So I have already made my apologies to my family and friends for my absence in their lives, and I will play this game every minute that I can until I finish. It usually takes two weeks or so, but it was my birthday last Saturday and people kept wanting to take me out and give me gifts and stuff, so it really cut into my game-time. Once I’m done, I will have purged my system and will not need to touch the Playstation until next year, when the new Ratchet and Clank comes out (this is the third in the series, and I don’t think they’re about to release their hold on me just yet).

Speaking of my birthday, this was a pretty great one! I turned 35 and I thank everyone who still cards me a nightclubs. Friday night, we had sushi, then went to this thing called Tomb. It seemed like it was going to be really cool. An immersive gaming experience with puzzles and great special effects. It was not. Actually, it was kind of goofy and cheesy and the “tour guide” was so bored, or had to pee, or was just tired of watching people trying to have fun that he kept solving the puzzles for us. But sometimes goofy stuff is just as much fun as actual fun stuff is and we had a good time making each other laugh. Saturday we had dinner with my folks and I had steak covered with lobster. Too bad they couldn’t have topped it off with baby Spotted Owls for maximum decadence. Maybe for the big 4-OH.

I got some great gifts, too. My brother and sister-in-law gave me Stitch n Bitch Nation and another knitting-book-that-I-forgot-the-name-of –but-it’s-really-nice-and-has-some-good-lace-patterns. I love the patterns in the new SnB, too! Great stuff. Charlene gave me a Get Fuzzy page-a-day calendar and I am staying away from it so I don’t just read the whole thing right off the bat. Love me some Get Fuzzy! Charlene’s cousin, Laura, gave me a pretty glass mosaic candle holder with a huge pumpkin spice candle. My friend Kristin gave me the Rock, Paper, Scissors Strategy Guide. My friend Victor came through with the Department 56! I love Halloween stuff and my birthday is conveniently located right afterwards. He got me a cute black cat lantern and this dip bowl.

Probably the best gift I got was a ball winder from my parents. I got myself a wooden swift to go with it (with a 50% off coupon for Joanne fabrics, I couldn’t resist). This is the most amazing pair of things ever (many men will disagree, but it’s true!). I am now in possession of the most perfect balls you could imagine (again, the fellas may take umbrage, but . . .). The best part is that even if the cats try to mess with it, they can’t. The spinning swift just knocks them in the head and they get all confused and run away. Truly a wonder.

Before I move on to knitting stuff, I just need to tell you about this amazing show I went to Monday night. Yes, I put the video game controller down and I am so glad I did. We saw a guy named Andrew Bird at Johnny D’s in Somerville. He’s heading to Pennsylvania, Virginia, Ohio, and then France (his website had dates and places). If you are nearby, do yourself a favor and go see this guy. He’s the real deal. A true talent. He accompanies himself of violin while he’s playing guitar, it’s the coolest thing. He starts off most songs by playing some pretty violin riffs. Suddenly, he’s got a guitar, but you’re still hearing the violin. He actually records and layers violin pieces right there, then loops them so they play during the song. He uses pedals to stop and start them during refrains. It’s really amazing. He also plays a sweet xylophone, whistles beautifully and has a gorgeous voice. I’ve dubbed him the Everything Bagel of singer/songwiters. This guy has it all. And he’s cute and quirky, to boot! If you like Grant Lee Phillips, Jeff Buckley, Freedy Johnston, Jonathan Richman, and/or Paul Simon, you will love this guy. Seriously. I bought a CD of his called “The Swimming Hour” at the show and the first 5 songs are all the kind you play over and over. I haven’t heard the last half of the CD much because I’m stuck on the first, but there’s good stuff all over it. There are some complicated, swirling songs with violin that makes me feel like what figure skating looks like – floaty and bendy and free. There are also bluesy, rockabilly numbers, a pretty tango, and some catchy Beatlesque tunes. I don’t think he sticks to one genre, unless you consider Freakin’ Awesome a genre.

Man, do I ever get chatty when I’ve been away.

OK, now to knitting. The Manly is done. I repeat, we have completion on the Manly. Earlier I posted that I wasn’t all that happy with it, but now that Jon has worn it a couple of times, I really love it. The sleeves have sort of evened out and you can’t really see the puffiness. I did a little photo session in the back yard that ended in a very Cameron Diaz vs. the Paparazzi way. I hope you enjoy these pictures of my darling husband. I need to send one over to Drew, the host of the Man-A-Long. If anyone has a favorite, let me know!

I have also finally started the Ostrich Plume shawl. Originally I was using verigated yarn, but the pattern got lost in all the colors. I switched and am using the light blue Geisha acrylic/mohair yarn I got the Elann. It’s much better and using the chart is not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. It’s actually fun and easy! Yay! When I get a couple of pattern repeats done, I’ll post a pic. I’m meeting up with Melanie on her turf for a Stitch n Bitch tonight, so hopefully I’ll make some good progress. Must. Not. Think. About. Ratchet. And. Clank.

Warning: No Knitting Content in This Post

2004-11-03T13:56:00.000-05:00

Bush has gotten the popular vote by about 3.5 million and I don’t quite know what to make of it. What does this say about the country in which I live? That its citizens are satisfied with being lied to and manipulated? I guess if I ever decide to make the career switch to shyster, this is a good thing. And I have a handy-dandy color coded map of where to make my living. Actually, all I have to do is head away from the ocean. I guess I just don’t understand the idea of voting to reduce people’s freedoms. It makes me sad to think that a majority of people in this country think it’s ok to attack a country under false pretense, and that they use their interpretation of god to dictate what choices people have, who they can marry, and even what advances medical science can achieve.

I’m simply befuddled at the anti-intellectual sentiment that is over-running this nation. A lot of people seem to think Kerry is a pointy-headed elitist because he tends to be verbose and uses big words. He's a "flip-flopper" (if I never hear that term again, it'll be too soon) because he can see many sides to complex situations and is willing to adjust his approach to suit the needs of a changing situation. I bet he's even willing to admit it when he makes a mistake, and then - get this - tries to fix it! I have a feeling that people want a guy like Ray Romano in office. A regular Joe, just like them. Personally, I want a guy who’s smarter than me in office. The thing is, Bush isn’t a regular Joe. He’s the privileged son of a politician who has breezed through life, handed opportunities at every turn. I truly think his folksy way of speaking, using “nu-cu-lar” instead of “nu-cle-ar”, and even fumbling on words is an affectation that he uses to prove what a “regular” guy he is. Frontline had a documentary that profiled Bush and Kerry throughout their political careers. Young GW doesn’t sound the same as old GW. He is not from Texas, he’s from Connecticut. And yet somehow he’s posturing like he’s an extra on the Dukes of Hazzard.

The only solace I can take is that a lot of people who voted for Bush this time around did it while holding their noses. Republicans were stuck between a rock and a hard place. If Democrats can come up with a candidate that people can be excited about from the get-go, then the country may very well experience some progress by the end of the decade and we can begin healing this disturbing division. I don’t forsee one inch of social progress in the next four years, and hopefully we can undo any regression that happens. Honestly, the sadistic, voyeuristic, reality TV-loving jerk in me is looking forward to watching the America Show over the next four years. Without having to worry about getting re-elected, what wacky hijinks will GW get mixed up in? Maybe a case of mistaken identity involving Iran? Perhaps a date with South Korea AND China on the same night? Maybe a Very Special Holiday Episode with Israel and Palestinians coming together when the power goes out during peace talks and they all get locked in a meat freezer? It could be that some of his coworkers have been keeping some Big Secrets thinking he’d be losing his job and now that he’s staying, their consciouses will start gnawing at them and they’ll blow the lid of this mother! Who knows, but at least my guys Jon Stewart, Al Franken, and Michael Moore will have something to talk about for the next little while.

And that is the last political jibber jabber you’ll find here, at least for a while. Until then, we can all agree that knitting is great and we will all vote Yes on Proposition 934: Were knitted fashions of the 70’s just plain goofy?

My fellow Americans

2004-11-02T16:04:00.000-05:00

It’s a momentous day here in America. There’s a buzz in the air and people are excited about taking part in an amazing process. Although it’s been part of American life for years, this time is different. There’s more on the line and an array of elements make it more complicated, but so rewarding. It will connect people in a way it never has. Issues like weapons of mass destruction, public health, and global environment are at the center of the platform and it’s all up to those who participate.

Yes, truly a great day. The new Ratchet and Clank game for PS2 is being released today!! I can’t wait. I already put one on reserve. This is the third in a series of Ratchet and Clank games and this one has a whole new set of cool weapons and has online gameplay! Can you stand it? Every year a new one comes out and I’m obsessed until I finish the game. The only problem is that I can’t pick it up today because the store is near my work an hour away. I’m working from home today because I went to vote and didn’t know how the lines would be.

Oh yeah, GO VOTE!! Make an afternoon of it. Go get a cup of coffee and a pastry. If you’re at work, tell your boss you’re taking a liberty break. If you’re at home, put the knitting in a bag and go! GO GO GO!! Then feel smug for the rest of the day because you are a good citizen and are exercising your rights, even if you don’t exercise anything else – put Splenda in your coffee, it’ll be fine. If you don’t, you’re not allowed to complain OR gloat if your guy loses/wins. No votey – no gloaty - no moany. Also, it would be good if you voted for Kerry. Just as a personal favor, ‘kay?

On the knitting front, Manly is done – pictures to come at some point. It came out ok, but I’m not thrilled with it. It’s my first knitted thing with sleeves, and you can tell. The sleeves came out waaay bigger than the armhole. Now, a different, better kind of knitter would have ripped them out and made them over. I’m just not that kind of knitter. I MADE them fit. Now the sleeves are a little puffy and vaguely piratey. Also, I should have made a medium. Take this as a guide with the Manly sweater from Stitch and Bitch, if your guy normally wears a medium, but measures a small in the pattern, make the medium. I blocked the crap out of it and just short of turning into taffy, the sleeves came out ok and it’s no longer a belly-sweater.

Also, I love Oprah’s new hairdo. She looks great. SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP – her guest today appears to be Johnny Depp. Forget you, I’m outta here!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
-gasp-
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Almost Manly

2004-10-30T19:44:00.000-05:00

Check it out! It’s all blocked and I’m putting it together now. It’s practically a sweater! I keep making Jon try it on when a new seam is finished. He’s getting mildly annoyed and statically charged, but it looks really good on him. I’m worried that the arm holes might be a bit high and small, but he swears they feel fine. I guess that response is the knitting equivalent to the one for “Do I look fat?” I’m not picky, I’ll take it.

So yesterday, my friend Charlene paid us a visit and left a comment among the ones she received. A very nice introduction, I’d say. La asked if this meant she had to stop swearing. The answer to that is a resounding “Heck no!” Charlene is as salty as any pirate I know and especially favors the term “jackass” lately. I’m partial to pairing body parts and diseases for maximum effect. Some folks asked when Charlene was going to start knitting and I just don’t know if it’s ever going to happen. But she does wear scarves well and appreciates llamas and alpaca like no one else. She went to Peru a couple of summers ago and brought back a bunch of great knitted stuff. She suggested that we make a return trip figuring it would make great blog fodder. I wholeheartedly agree. Wouldn’t you all like to see pictures of me pillaging a small Peruvian village and absconding with all of their yarn? I knew you would.

One more thing about Charlene, she was there for the 28-foot-blanket incident.

The other day, I told my dad I was going to make him a sweater and had him look at some patterns. I originally showed him this one, but he said it was too pépé (a French term for grandfather). He looked through a bunch of other 60’s pattern books and it was hilarious. He LOVED them and was pointing out all the sweaters he used to have. He’d point to one and describe it, nudging my mother and saying “Remember that sweater? Mine was yellow!” and was describing others as “really sharp” saying “they just don’t make them like this any more”. My mom joined in when she saw some gorgeous knitted coats, which she had made for herself. I knew my mom used to knit beautiful things, but I never realized my dad had such a soft spot for knitwear, then he reminded me why. Many years ago, he and my mom used to work at a sweater factory in New Hampshire, which was once renowned for its textile mills along the Merrimack River. I think they actually met there. It was called Pandora* He got this sort of animated air about him and said “You should get a knitting machine! Then you could get tons done really fast!” and proceeded to demonstrate how a knitting machine works using his hands and sound effects. In case you were wondering, the sound of a knitting machine in action is “tktktktktktktktktktktkt” and the sound of an entire sweater being whipped out by one is “zooooooooOOOOOOOOP”. Then he told us about the difference between “Cut and Sew” sweaters and “Full Fashion” ones. As you can imagine, “Full Fashion” is the good stuff that took a lot of detailed hand work. “Cut and Sew” was a giant piece of knitted fabric that was then cut into pattern pieces and sewn together. My mom worked on Full Fashion doing something called “looping”. I’m not really sure what that is (I think it had to do with attaching sleeves), but she still remembered the hand movements she used on her machine. I wish I could fully explain how great it was to have my dad imitating a knitting machine and my mom doing “looping” in the air. Truly a sight to behold. Apparently it’s in my blood.

Anyway, this is the pattern my dad finally picked.

I asked what color he wanted and he insisted that it be red. Turns out he just loves red, but never wears it (I think my mom has something to do with that). So a dashing red sweater it is. Here is where I will need to do some searching. The pattern uses Spinnerin yarn which, of course, no longer exists. It uses needles 5 and 8, the gauge is 5 sts = 1 inch and 7 sts = 1 inch. I can only assume that the #8 needles yield the 5st/1inch gauge. Would anyone in the blogsphere know of a yarn that has the gauge and would produce this red/black color mix? What is that called when the colors are mixed up like that? I may have to make a trip to Webs for this one. Oh Meeeeelaniiiieee . . .

Also, as a side note, I added some more stuff to my finished object list. They’ve been finished for a while, I just got around to getting pictures now. I’ve got a shawl, a cat blanket, a doily, and a felted bag. All of these were for my mom. I’m going to make her a felted hat to go with her bag next (by her request). She uses the bag all the time and really enjoys the attention it gets. She loves the eyelash yarn and I’m hoping to get her back into knitting by buying her some cool, crazy stuff. She really is a talented knitter/crocheter/embroiderer/seamstress/lady.

*If you're intersted in the mills, this site has gorgeous photos, click them to see the high quality images. It’s funny, I was just looking for a good picture of the mills, and for almost an hour I’ve been poring through a bunch of sites about them. They really give me a sense of “home” and I think they’re so beautiful. After almost 20 years away, I’m only recently appreciating how rich in history my hometown is.

Big day!

2004-10-28T12:42:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness! It’s a mess in here! I need to clean up. We’re having very special company today. Today I told my best girlfriend, Charlene, about this blog. I’ve been keeping it on the QT for a while because I was afraid she would think I was a dork writing a whole blog about knitting (she’s not a knitter), but I couldn’t stand it any more and invited her to pop in and have some coffee. Everyone be on your best behavior.

Hi Charlene! -waving madly at her sistergirlfriend- Welcome!

Scoooooooore!

2004-10-25T17:28:00.000-05:00

Scoooooooore!

The Red Sox ain’t got nuthin’ on me, baby! They may have red socks, but I’m going to have a black tank, a tan sweater, a blue hoodie, a green felted bag, and an assortment of buttery soft scarves!

Melanie (who has also documented our lovely day – she’s got foliage pictures and everything!) and I trekked out to the scenic hills of Harvard, MA to attend the Fiber Loft’s 30th anniversary sale. Happy Anniversary, indeed! We made sure to meet up early so we could get prime pickins. I printed out the wrong map, so we had to ask for directions once we got to Harvard. I’m constantly getting lost, so this is Standard Operating Procedure for me. I pulled into a gas station where a cute mechanic asked where I was headed. I mentioned the street and that it was a yarn store. My jaw almost hit the floor when he not only told me where the street was but what the actually yarn store looked like and how many doors away from the stop sign it was. Granted, there was only one main street in town, but I prefer to think that his house is full to the brim with yarn. Picturing those oil-stained fingers around a pair of knitting needles made me smile, so I’m just going to go with it.

As luck would have it, we got there shortly after they opened and before it was too crazy, so we had a great selection to choose from. Much to our delight, there was an upstairs. Our eyes lit up at the very mention of it. I almost missed an entire room of stuff, but in true knitting buddy fashion, Melanie brought it to my already over stimulated attention. Between the two of us, we emptied a few boxes for them. You know, as an anniversary gift. It was a great time and here is what I hauled home in a big, clear plastic bag.

Here’s a rundown of the contents:

- Classic Elite 03 Tweed, mostly in blue but a couple of skeins of burgundy in case I’m in need of a stripe. I think I’m going to use it for the hoodie in SnB (I need to check the gauge).
- Classic Elite Pima cotton/Alpaca blend in tan. It will some day be a very soft sweater.
- Classic Elite Believe, which is a lumpy black cotton with little bits of shiny rayon here and there. This is going to be a tank top.
- GGH Samoa in a sort of burnt umber and green. There’s not much, so scarf it is.
- GGH Soft Kid. Mmmmmmmmmmmm
- Peruvian Wool cones, which will probably end up as a felted something.
- Katia Buffalo in dark brown and black. This is a cool poly material that is sort of polar-fleecy/suedey. This is earmarked for Jon’s winter scarf.
- Assorted cotton in assorted colors. I found a bag of possible leftovers, but the colors are so pretty. My mom has already deemed that these become a spring scarf for her.

Here’s a close-up of the Soft Kid. They had some purple and light blue. Now I wish I had snapped it up.

And here is a scarf that I made out of some non-sale yarn I got. It’s Online Linie something-or-other. I lost the label. It’s amazingly soft, like I skinned a bunch of stuffed animals (good ones, like Gund. Not some cheesy carnival ones).

After shopping, Melanie and I found a little cemetery where we parked our behinds on some rocks and knit for a spell. She also gave me another bunch of vintage mags from her mother-in-law!

There’s an 80’s one in there that was actually painful to look at. We’ll be seeing more of these in weeks to come. And I gave her the Oopmah Loompahs, which turned out to be some alpaca from A Touch of Twist. It’s the same color as I got - “Middle Earth”. See the Rhinebeck post for a picture. Once we got cold, we headed off for lunch. Now, when I think of a quaint New England town, I think of little cafes and coffee shops. Apparently I need to rethink my position. We drove around for almost an hour looking for a place to eat. I figured if we just drove in concentric circles, we’d eventually find something. This is also SOP for me, and luckily, Melanie actually likes driving around aimlessly. This is a good thing when you’re in my passenger seat. Finally we found a little Mexican place that was pretty good. It was a good end to a really nice day. Pumpkin muffins, yarn, magazines, burritos . . . what more could you ask for?

Torn Between Two Loves

2004-10-22T13:44:00.000-05:00

From the comments section of the previous post, it looks as though Jon’s Yarn Widower booth at Rhinebeck next year would be crammed full of our disinterested Others. He decided he wanted a dart board in there, too. I think it would be good of there was a skein of yarn attached to the center to give them something they hated to aim at. Sometimes he looks at my knitting bag with such despair. Last night I was working on the second sleeve of his sweater and he was lolling around his side of the sofa, poking me with his feet and looking coy, almost coquettish. I finally said ‘What?! Is there something I can do for you? Something you need?” and he said “Acknowledge meeeeee!” Instantly, I felt guilty. Was my knitting getting in the way of our relationship? Was I purling a rift between us? Would I long for these lost moments with him on my death bed? I turned to him – my husband, my beloved partner with whom I share me very soul – and said “You exist, I see you.” and went back to the task at hand. Sleeves don’t knit themselves, you know.